Noticing Newbies Newsletter 11-14-2012,
Featured newbies and yours is among them.
I use the newsletter for reviewing fodder.

I liked your story from stem to stern.
There is a lot of imagery the reader can identify with.
The story is complete with a good beginning, middle, and end.
Form and structure are appropriate.
Flow is nice and smooth.
Pace is somewhat stop and go, as the imagery adds to the scene.
Grammatically snafu free, you are encouraged to write on!
Copenator out! BA, MDiv
Founder of Copenator's Crew