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 Review #3789687 |
 Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: Water on Flesh Author: StormLink  Type: Poem While the "flesh on water" does add a juxtaposition of the opening line, I'm not sure of what else it might portend. It seems more a literary device than anything else. You do capture the imagery of a very simple action, but one, if the writer looks closely, he can turn into a far more complex act. We see the droplets on the skin, tap pouring into the basin below it. We even see the dirt and grime, which may not be the most attractive portrait, but it is an accurate one, and shows that you were thinking about your subject. We then see the hands scooping the water across the face, purifying what once was dirty. We see the water dripping down slowly over the cheeks, lips and mouth, dripping to the basin, waiting for the ritual to begin again. It is an intriguing poem on a topic most would never think to write about. As a reader, I get tired of reading the same old, "he done me wrong" poems and so it was refreshing to find one that tried to capture a moment, as well as a mood. It was a pleasant surprise. What this is, to me, is a process poem. It describes an action in detail, trying to capture the essence of the moment, and by doing so, finding the importance of it beyond the simple act. There is art in every action we take, including splashing water on our faces, and in doing so, we expend energy and turn that into action, which can be read by poets and psychologists alike. I think you re a little of both. You'd have to be, to write something like this, I think. 
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You responded to this review 11/25/2012 @ 11:52pm EST