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 Review #3789497 |
 | Gravitas  [] Planetary alignments on a dancefloor  |
 Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: Gravitas Author: Praveen Kumar Type: Poem Seeing a woman in such elevated tones would only end ugly anyway. At some point reality had to enter into the picture. It's a poem with strong imagery, and if at times it seems more clinical than passionate, it doesn't stay there long. Lines like: quantum entangled with the photons that collide into you. seems more like the romantic talk of physicists trying to clinically define each action to make it appear rational, rather than someone adoring another person. The language is just too stiff, as I said, too clinical. It doesn't have the free, expressiveness of real emotion. You are at your best when you just let emotions fly. There is some good imagery here however. You describe her actions, and how she continues on without the music. You compare the prosaic look of her walking, compared to her dancing, and how it loses the magic. That was exceptional. She becomes ordinary, human, a compared to whatever ethereal being she had seems like before. It is interesting that the speaker of this poem is more enthralled with the image than the real thing. He is allured by the myth (so to speak) but lost interest when she turned back into a real woman. That's not the healthiest way to want to have a relationship, but maybe his goals were more short term. It is the kind of poem tat one could turn into a psychological study, as to this person's motivations and desires. What did he home to get from this woman beyond an illusory sensation? He's allured by her dancing which wasn't reality, yet he was attempting to turn it into reality by approaching here, and that would have been failure for, as we saw, the reality could not match the illusion. Anyway, yes, one could turn this into a psychological study if they chose. The reader doesn't have to (nor is he likely to) do that however. He'll be happy to just read the poem and focus on the imagery, the desire and the let down. It is a good poem, I liked it. 
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