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Review #3789230
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 Something from when I was asleep Open in new Window. []
Something dredged from that moment in between waking and dreaming.
by Praveen Kumar Author Icon
Review by Tiggy 🌺 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.0)
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Title: Something from when I was asleep

Author: Praveen Kumar Author Icon

Type: Poem


Between the first and second parts of the poem, I prefer the second (the addendum.) It has more imagery, is to the point, and is more show than tell. I think the first half is more concerned with memory, of how it was, which the second just describes a moment, and isn't worried about the reader, it just lets the words go freely.

I'm not sure I want to get close with someone who smells of old books. Maybe a mild perfume, but old books are musty. It's not a romantic smell to me, but we're all different and react to varying cues.

Yes, the second half is concerned with imagery and it seeks to explain it in a metaphorical manner, where as the first half needs to set it all up and describe the woman and the emotion, the second just lets it flow. As such, some of the first seem wooden and invented. Its as if the first half were written by a romantic neophyte and second my a seasoned lover.

It is an intriguing poem highlighted by a strong contrast between parts.




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