It is my pleasure to review
"Invalid Item" 
in affiliation with "Newbie Help And Support Group" 

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I'm returning a favor of a review for a review, and this story caught my eye. The message here is an important lesson in parenting. I liked the way you showed the reader how the father's patience was progressively growing thinner. His daughter kept pestering him, even after he asked her to stop. I was expecting her to get the punishment that he threatened, but, in the end, he only showed his deep love for her while still teaching her a lesson. I thought that was pretty clever. Janie came across as a typical five-year-old trying to see how far she could bend the rules. Her giggles were so realistic, I thought I could hear them.


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Technical Issues


Five-year old Janie came up behind her father and threw her arms around his neck in a bear hug.
Your hyphen is correct for the compound adjective, but one more hyphen is needed between "year" and "old."
Five-year-old Janie came up behind her father and threw her arms around his neck in a bear hug.

“Don't even think about doing that again Janie” her dad played along, feigning anger.
A comma is needed before the direct address of "Janie." Also, there is no dialogue tag here, like he said, so the first word after the quote should be capitalized.
“Don't even think about doing that again, Janie.” Her dad played along, feigning anger.



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You have a skill for vivid characterization, Doorman. I enjoyed this little story very much. Thank you for this opportunity to review your work. My suggestions and opinions are offered only in the spirit of helpfulness from one aspiring writer to another.

  Winnie Kay  

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed"