Hi cuckoo,

I love this poem and the subtle humor. I'm stifling a chuckle right now. I loved the start to this poem, it was fast and represented a good idea. The second stanza, however, seems to be a sort repetitive. It loses the rhyme style and desperately restates how time is a friend. By the third, I'm losing the grammatical correctness. For example:



The bold has a different tense then the rest of the poem. We jumped from past to present, which confuses me, the reader. Is this metaphorically representing time, or is it a mere mistake? If it is intentional, try easing into it a little more.

By the last stanza, I'm hooked again. Very nice ending (although I would take out the space between all- time, and just make it all-time), which makes me like the poem all over again. There's a great flow to the poem, and when read aloud, it sounds good. My only issue is with the middle stanzas, as said. I would ask you if those stanzas are even necessary, if you can condense them into one good middle stanza with purpose, rather than two mildly stale ones. There's nothing wrong with having a shorter work.

Overall, good poem. As always though, rewrites are necessary. Good luck to you, and keep on writing! My comments are merely my comments, and if you disagree or believe I am wrong, you don't have to do what I say.

Again, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy it here.

R. Silver