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*I am a Rockin' Review Student* Hi Tranquil Reaper ![]() I just finished reading your poem,"Invalid Item" ![]() I really enjoy how a poet expresses the ordinary so extraordinarily. That's why I enjoyed reading your poem, and I have the following comments to offer: Note: Keep in mind that any review I provide is based soley on my opinion and is not intended to take liberty with the author's work. Please use or discard any comments or suggestions as you see fit. ![]() Though I personally have a predilection for Jameson, I found this poem very comical. I imagine that anyone who has aspired to this level of whiskey induced numbness can identify with nearly every line. The flow is generally pretty good and I though the internal rhyme scheme added support to the whimsical nature of the content. ![]() Only two small observances. First in line seven "cloths" should be "clothes". Second, in line three, I would change "refusing" to "refused". As it is written, it forces me to look for a continuance of the thought to follow rather than to end. ![]() Aside from the rhyme and meter, there is an instance of personification. The imagery is pretty strong throuhout. ![]() I thought the last line really capped off the comedic nature of the content nicely. In similar circumstance, historically, I seized the opportunity to avow discontinuance as opposed to merely changing labels, so I chuckled audibly when I read this. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Nice job, thank you for sharing, Liam ![]() ** Image ID #1739559 Unavailable **
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