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 Review #3596239 |
 | I have known.  [E] Losing love.  |
| (4.5)| Title: The title fits this piece of dramatic prose (if I may call it that) perfectly. Tone: The tone is maintained throughout the piece. The sadness of the speaker is conveyed well from beginning to end. It isn't easy to write about this level of sadness without whining, but you have done it here. Well done. Content: There is a tenderness that is conveyed in the content of the piece which is very well organized. The line I have known you, I have loved you. toward the beginning, and the lines I have known you. I have loved what I knew. work so well to drive the passion of this piece home. In fact, if I were to chose my favourite passages, these whould have to be the ones. Then the last line And now I am saddened to find, that I don't really know you at all. wrapped up the whole piece so very well. Wow, what a very sad statement at the end. And you leave your readers to truly experience that sadness. Musicality: This piece is easy to read, with phrases and sentences that are pleasent sounding. I found no areas containing words that caused me to stumble during the reading of it. The rhythm and flow are pleasant. Suggestions: My only criticism would be that I don't think the spacing of the last lines really work for this piece. The whole passage from "I have been trapped in my own head..." to "And I am alone in my sadness and regret." I see fitting into one paragraph. This would make the last three sentences (also written in one paragraph) that more powerful. But that's just my opinion. Added note: I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece, and look forward to reading more of your work.
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