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![]() | A thousand mask over a thousand faces. ![]() This story is about a picture of people in gas mask walking away from the holocaust. ![]() |
My initial reaction to this was one of disappointment, only because the description called this a story. As I didn't find a story with events happening in a sequence, as in a story, I had to look at this piece of writing as prose. Title: I feel the title fits this piece of writing.Tone: The tone is well maintained; it is solemn throughout. However, I feel that mentioning the smiles behind the masks detracts from the seriousness of what is happening.Content: There are some great points that help to portray such gruesome pictures (ie. the masks all the same, all the people moving as one mass). But I think that giving too much detail in the descriptions weakens the "emotion" of the piece. Say as little as you need to to paint your pictures, and let your readers "feel" the rest.Musicality: I love the "sound" of the first two sentences. They would make a very good start to a poem.Strengths: the powerful images Weaknesses: the sentence fragments and spelling mistakes I hope I've been able to help you without being too harsh. If you need anything further explained, please don't hesitate to contact me.
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