Wow! This is a powerfully sad poem. I was drawn right from the very moving first line. You have given us the picture of this addict very effectively. What a waste! and yet so true. From experience with family members, I know many do not make it back from the dark place.

The structure of the poem seems solid with its rhyme scheme and pace. It flowed fairly well as I read it aloud. Though the rhythm has minor glitches it did not detract from the power of the piece. i like the images of the dark hand and cold and the blank stare. The setting suits the trauma superbly.

Too real!

The following suggestions are just from my perspective as a reader and only intended to help make this heart rending tale even better.

I notice there are some punctuation fixes:

These words need to be possessive forms:
"hands=hand's touch". I think you can drop the comma here too, to connect with the next phrase. and use a comma after "man" in this verse..

"demons night,=demon's" "winters chill =winter's" "Decembers hand;=December's"

The one line that I tripped over was the first one in verse 6. Seems to need one less syllable.

I see you use "That" in two lines in a row in verse 4. I think you can easily drop the first one and give the line more power as you put a period at the end of the last verse. It helps the flow and puts emphasis on "Life" I think.

I really enjoyed this evocative poem and its theme. Well thought out and organized and the last line just stopped me in my tracks! Wonderful.
Keep on doing what you do and write on! Welcome to WDC and thanks for sharing . Light on the path,eyestar

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