The package was waiting on Will's porch, no postage, no label, just his name scrawled on the top in a handwriting that made his skin crawl, elegant, looping, but a little feral. He stared at it for a good ten minutes, half expecting it to vibrate, howl, or detonate. Nothing. He prodded it with his foot before snatching it up and running inside, as if the box might sprout legs and chase after him.
Inside, it was padded with tissue paper so black it sucked the daylight from the room. Nestled at the bottom, a remote, sleek, unbranded, heavier than it looked, with an oily rainbow sheen that shifted every time he turned it over in his hand. It was unmistakably a remote, but it had too many buttons, too many toggles. Some buttons were labeled in blocky capitals: SWAP, RESET, UNDO. Others had cryptic symbols: a pair of silhouettes merging, a hanger, a spiral, a split mask.
A folded sheet of cheap paper was wedged next to the remote. Will pried it out with a pencil, like a bomb tech in a Hollywood thriller. The letter was typed, but the margins were off, the font jagged and hard to read:
CONGRATULATIONS, LUCKY WINNER.
YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE IN A TRIAL OF THE SWAPMOTE™ PERSONAL REASSIGNMENT DEVICE. THAT’S RIGHT, THE FUTURE OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE, DELIVERED TO YOUR DOORSTEP.
INSTRUCTIONS:
POINT THE DEVICE AT YOUR TARGET.
SELECT DESIRED FUNCTION:
BODY SWAP
CLOTHES SWAP
LIFE SWAP
PERSONALITY SWAP
BODY PART SWAP
PRESS SWAP.
CAUTION: ALL CHANGES MAY BE REVERSED BY USING ‘UNDO’ OR ‘RESET'
Happy Reassigning.
The Swapmote Team
PS: DO NOT LOSE DEVICE.
Will stared at the letter, then at the remote, then at his own trembling hands. He was almost certain this was his friend Jake’s idea of a prank, or maybe some viral marketing thing for a new streaming show, Bodyjackers, or Freaky Week. But something in his chest vibrated, low and urgent. He aimed the remote at his cat, pressing the “Clothes Swap” button, because it was the least horrific possibility.
Nothing happened, except for an accusatory glower from the cat.
Will exhaled, head dropping in relief as he checked his watch, "Better start heading to class before I'm late again" he said, stuffing the remote into his back pocket.