Lyrically Speaking

Some suggestions...keep or toss

The first thing I would suggest is to shape this into lyric form. Right now, it's just sort of a paragraph "blob" and it's hard to tell what is a verse, and what is a chorus.

Example:

(V)
I've got a dollar in my pocket,
WITH holes in both my shoes
I've been walking and drinking trying to get over you.
But your memory still lingers
And I don't know what to do.
With a dollar in my pocket and I can't get over you.

(CH)

(V)

(Ch)

ETC.

Now, whatever you put as a second verse should have the same rhyme scheme as V-1. If lines 2&3 rhyme in V-1, lines 2&3 should rhyme in V-2, etc.

The verses should always match in rhyme scheme, or the listener's ear is going to be distracted. Always write a song with the listener in mind (not a reader.) Sing it or say it out loud and you will know if everything flows & sounds good to the ear.

Hope that helps.

Amelia
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