Star Trek Message Forum

Star Trek, aside from Buffy, has the best one-liners and in-jokes that I have ever seen in a TV show.

I can't think of the funniest episode or even name just a few because there have been so many... But I do have a book called "Quotable Star Trek" where I get my quotes for my signature on Stories.Com.

Here's a few of my favourite so far...


"Well it's just lately, I've noticed everyone seems to... trust me. It's quite unnerving. I'm still trying to get used to it. Next thing I know, people will be inviting me to their homes for dinner."

-"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I promise I will never have you over."

"I appreciate that Chief."

(Garak & O'Brien)



"Men do not roar. Women roar. Then they hurl heavy objects. And claw at you."

-"What does the man do?"

"He reads poetry. He ducks a lot."

(Worf & Wesley)



"If I were in your shoes, I would be looking for someone a little more entertaining... a little more fun... and maybe even a little more attainable."

-"You are not in my shoes."

"Too bad. You'd be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size eighteen boots."

(Worf & Dax)



"...I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know."

(Picard to Data)



"The point is, if you lie all the time, nobody's going to believe you even when you're telling the truth."

-"Are you sure that's the point Doctor?"

"Of course, what else could it be?"

-"That you should never tell the same lie twice..."

(Bashir & Garak)



"Whenever you walk into the room, his respiration increases, his pupils dilate, and the colouration of his ears turns decidedly orange. Until I noticed the pattern, I thought he was suffering from Tanzian flu."

(Doctor to Kes on Tom Paris)


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"Lying is a skill like any other. And if you want to maintain a level of excellence, you have to practice constantly."

(Garak to Worf - DS9)

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