Sunni's Review &Edit - closed

 (This message was edited by sunnygal136 on 10-16-02 @ 4:30 pm EDT)

This looks like you have already done a good job
of
editing. I had to look hard to find any problems.

1. Possible over use of "...". Examples of other
punctuation that might work:

"Her knowledge of her father comprised of what
her mom had told her (replace ... with a
colon) perky(replace ... with a comma)
gallant...and dead."

"I think of Oliver( replace ... with a period
and capitalize H) his memory brings me joy and
intense pain( change ... to an em dash –)
both at the same time."

2. Word order. Only one suggestion here:
" yet at the back of her mind ( change to
"doubt lingered") lingered doubt.

Looks like you got a lot of good ratings on this
work, keep on writing!
Sunni17