~ The Poet's Place Cafe~

Hi Jake, I actually love your poem, it says a lot. I think 59 was a typo, it is the 50th state which actually improves your syllable count by not repeating "dreaming". As Dave says it does miss the syllable count a little from the suggested Verse Form elements, 3-7-6-5-4-3. To bring it into line with the elements of the form you could do something like:

3          Alaska
7          Still haunting my eager dreams          {adding 2 syllables in eager but any 2 syllable adjective will do)
6          of the 50th state.          {correct the typo and drop the unnecessary 2 syllable "dreaming")
5          Called since I was 8           {need only 1 syllable at beginning}
4          Finally there
3          Alaska

This was just an idea of how it could conform to the syllable count, I hope I didn't offend you by playing with your poem. The poem as originally written with the exception of the typo is cool, playing with syllable count can also make it a Seox.

~~Tink