The Talk About Anything Forum!

So I got a chance to read a chunk of it, at least up to the wedding.

My assumption is that this is a tongue in cheek piece or satire, that the extremeness of the character is to make a point.

Rather than write a review yet, as I haven't finished it and I'd rather be fair than bias it to my own preferences. I don't drink, do drugs or religion, so the overall topic was heavy on all of that.

As such, I didn't like Elijah. He was judgmental and flawed in ways that made him unlikable to me. Most of his actions just seem like reactions, doing what he's told by the voice in his head or expected, rather than him building up to make a decision. Calling a normal 7 year old girl a harlot was pretty extreme and can easily be taken as misogyny as it makes no sense to think that of a normal child behaving normally (that is in presumably a non-overtly sexual way, which would be age appropriate).

Writing wise, I'd look into doing more "Show, not tell". At one point, you have the character say/do something then tell us why he did it in such a way that was like telling us the obvious. We could see by his words/actions what he was feeling. There's opportunity to shift from narrative mode of telling us about Elijah and showing us.

The bible quotes were well researched and varied. For awhile, you hammer them in on almost every paragraph, then there's a stop for awhile. I'm not sure what a better balance for that would be, but spreading it out, but keeping it even seems like it would fit.

Everything felt kind of fast paced, like we were rushing through Elijah's life. I think that might have added to my lack of connection to the character.

Just some thoughts so far. Not an indictment against it, just wasn't my cup of tea so far.