Erotica Harem

TITLE: Prince Of The Sea

CHAPTER: Two

AUTHOR: Jon

PLOT: Rejected by his lover, Jonathan mopes around the cottage only to see what appears to be a swimmer drowning in the ocean. Rushing from the cottage, he dives in the water hoping to save the man, instead a strong current sweeps him under.

STYLE & VOICE: Third via Jonathan

REFERENCING: Modern day, Georgia on the coast

SCENE/SETTING: The cottage, then the ocean

CHARACTERS: Jonathan, memories of his lover, and a few people scattered on the beach.

GRAMMAR: I'm not good at this, but didn't see anything that jumped out.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: I read this chapter a while back, but have yet to give it a proper review. Life has taken a hold of me right now, and it won't give me time to read/write/review.

I really like the way you describe the scenes. The description of the cottage, and Jonathan's mind as he thinks about his lover, are done to perfection. I could feel everything he felt. I really didn't see anything that looked as if it needed to be changed. I think you did a fantastic job describing Jonathan as the current sucked him down. The chapter ended in a cliffhanger, making me want to read on.

Good job!


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