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Rated: ASR · Message Forum · Other · #101179

All invited, Speak your mind, got a New Story?, Opinion?, Need help?, Like a story?.

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Dec 30, 2010 at 2:02pm
#2180371
Re: First paragraph of a story that I am obsessing over.
I think that the paragragraph is wonderful, the only change I would make is instead of using those idling on their stomachs, "basking" on their stomachs seems to fit with the rest of the paragraph better. Jordan
MESSAGE THREAD
First paragraph of a story that I am obsessing over. · 12-07-10 1:29am
by Mike Blane Author IconMail Icon
Re: First paragraph of a story that I am obsessing over. · 12-28-10 12:05pm
by Lornel Author IconMail Icon
Re: First paragraph of a story that I am obsessing over. · 12-29-10 12:18am
by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
*Star* Re: First paragraph of a story that I am obsessing over. · 12-30-10 2:02pm
by Jordan Richelle Author IconMail Icon

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