Story Cafe

Dear J. D. Dark,


An Interesting bit and intrieging in the way that you don't reveal much but it is a bit dull at the begining when you go through the descriptions of the four that stand out. However this is just an opinion as I really am looking for a good read right now but still a good piece. I don't think I saw all that much in way of spelling or grammer errors and as to Your character who is telling this story well she is in and of herself an interesting character. I like the description you give of her the multicolored writing on the arms and hands is a particular eye catcher, and how you give the reaction of the students to her. leaning back or away. that too is good. as for what I wonder well. where is this leading we don't know what race your person is but what I guess is human white girl jumping from one school to the next. I'm assuming it's highschool she's in why the jumping around. some thing in the past seems to be troubling her, whats the significance of yoursinling out the ones that aren't "robots" is this in japan. or some foregn country that seems like it would be the case you described everyoneelse as being Clean yet dullm and the main chareacter as being messy. what are he motives for dressing outlandishly, writing short skirt tye etc... is she another spiecis aside from human as in shapeshifter or blood sucker why majority all pale lack of sun or vamps cause it's what it sujests while them being worried about the asian or black kids might be becuase they're different kind of alternate species. or these are just regular highschoolers I don't know you tell me.


What happens after this bit?

and one more thing If you like werewolf stories I've got a few on my portfolio that could use a review or two.

Sincerly


Fraunc J. H.