Erotica Harem

>> I agree the earlier pacing is...uh...glacial. <<

Max/Bill - The early pacing was glacial to me, but I may be an extreme case. I love high tension and fast action, as in Tom Clancey and Dan Browne. Tender emotion bores me.

But I'm sure that other readers will disagree. Your early chapters did contain some heart-rending emotional drama with Jim's conflict between love, sex, and staying in the closet. Readers who enjoy that sort of drama will love it. So please don't base your entire rewrite on my opinion.

In particular, I think that Carol Marsella, who is also reading your work, is on the opposite side of the tree from me. She seems to love emotion and not worry so much about action. So I would quiz her on this issue and weigh her thoughts heavily.

Tim


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