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by TimM Author IconMail Icon
Rated: XGC · Message Forum · Adult · #619464

We like it hot and sexy!

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Mar 21, 2008 at 2:31pm
#1693441
Review: Our House: Chapter 11: Bill
by Sephina Author IconMail Icon
Setting: Maybe one or two more reminders about the house and apartment. That’s up to you.

Characters: I think what stands out in this chapter as far as character goes, is that Chad finds himself not aroused by Steve. It remains to be seen if this is a one time thing or not. Despite that Chad obviously stills care for him.

Referencing: I don’t think I noticed anything here.

Plot: Chad finds he’s not turned on by Steve, but has thoughts about Duane, who he’s supposed to meet the next day. Steve has to leave town because his father has had a heart attack. It seems like fate is setting up Chad to be tempted. I guess it depends on powerful the demon is. I guess it could have arranged a lot of this…

Grammar: Minor things in the line by line.

Just my personal opinion: This chapter shows a lot more about Chad and Steve’s relationship. It also sets up for more conflict down the road. The little bit with the red eyes gave me a chill.

Sephina

Line by Line:

Chad lay face down on their bed while Steve's fingers lulled his rep: muscles into a languid reverie. He moaned with pleasure and closed his eyes. "That's so good. Don't stop."

"I can feel the rep: muscles are all knotted up. Just relax. Let all those tensions To me, tension sounds better than tensions. flow out of you."

Footie jumped on the bed and launched into happy head bumps against Chad's nose. Aw. Cats are so cute… He smiled and stroked her fur. "That's a good kitty." She nestled into the hollow between his head and his shoulder and buzzed, her eyes narrowed to slits of sinful pleasure.

"I wish I could relax like that." He arched his back. "We should fix dinner."

"You want me to stop?" Steve's hands moved down to his lower spine.

"Yeah, I feel better, thanks. You always know how to rub me the right way." He rolled over and pulled Steve down to give him a kiss. "Thanks."

"Sure. You deserve it, after what happened today." He moved to the edge of the bed and caressed Chad's hair. "I wish I could make it all better."

"You do make it better. I felt so lost, like I had no roots. You're my roots."

"Just like you're mine."

Chad shook his head. "Thanks, but it's not the same. You've got normal parents. I thought my parents were just weird and hateful, but now I don't even know who my real parents are." Parents is repeated three times in Chad’s dialogue. I don’t know if there’s help for it. The third one just really got my attention. He joined Steve on the edge of the bed and watched Undie play with her toy mouse. He traced little circles back and forth on Steve's hand with one finger.

"Well, we could try to track your birth family down, if you want."

"I don't know if I want that either. If they didn't want me back then, why would they want me now? Besides, Doreen said that my mother's dead."

"I thought the social worker said that -- the one who sicced her on you in the first place." He patted Chad's hand and stood. "Besides, she's not a very reliable source. Come on, let's see what's we can scrounge together for dinner."

He sighed. "You're right, I suppose." He followed Steve into the kitchen. "But the basic problem is that I don't know if I want to find my birth family or not."

"Are you afraid they'll reject you too?" Steve paled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"S'alright." He touched his lover's cheek. "I guess that's part of it. But I've gone this long without knowing them, so why do it now? It's not like I've had much in the way of parents since I came out, anyway."

"Well, it's up to you. The good thing is, you don't have to decide right now. What you need to do right now is help me fix dinner." He poked through the refrigerator. "We've got some pork chops. How about we bake those and maybe fix some smashed potatoes?"

"Sounds good. Easy too. Here, I'll start the potatoes."

They bustled about the kitchen for a few minutes in silence. Once they had the potatoes boiling and the pork chops baking, they retired to the living room sofa. Chad clicked on the television and surfed through the channels. "You know, there's one reason to track them down. My birth family, I mean."

"What reason is that? I want to say that an action is needed here for a smoother transition in his dialogue. Like he pointed to the TV or something. Hey, we haven't seen that episode in a while. Stop there."

"Okay, but it's the one where Greg finds the murder weapon in the fireplace, in an umbrella."

"It's still better than anything else." They settled back on the sofa. "So, what's the reason to track them down? Not that you need one."

"Wanda reminded me again today that I'd promised to be her donor. You know, for her baby. It doesn't seem fair for the little rug rat to be rootless like me. He should know who her grandparents are, where she came from."

"Aren't you mixing genders? Or are you planning on multiple births?"

"Wanda does that. We don't know the gender yet, so she's been using both."

"I see. That's so Wanda." He stretched and put an arm around Chad. "Your kid will have roots. He'll know who both his parents are."

"Still, it might be nice for her to know about his history. Plus, I forgot, there's all the paperwork I have to fill out at the clinic. Childhood diseases I can handle, but they wanted a family history too. I can't do that now."

"You know what I think? I think that you should decide whether you want to find your birth parents. But the decision should be based on what you want to do. Not what you think some unborn kid might want, not what Wanda wants, not what the clinic wants. What you want. If it's what you want to do, then do it. But don't do it for anyone else."

"I guess. I just wish I had normal parents, like you." He shook his head. "Hey, enough of me being an attention whore. How was your day?"

"My day? My day Three ‘day’s. Again it was the third one that stuck out to me. was okay, nothing unusual, I guess. Oh, I forgot! The outlet up in the office sparked and the circuit breaker blew when I plugged in my PDA this evening."

"Crap! Is it fried?"

"No, it's okay, thank god. And I reset the breaker. But it scared the bejaysus out of me. I called Duane and he's going to come over tomorrow afternoon and check it out. Can you maybe meet him around four?"

"Sure, I guess. We've got a faculty meeting tomorrow, but that'll be done by then. Are our computers okay?"

"Yeah. All the hardware runs through the UPS anyway. But Duane's supposed to have fixed that damned circuit. It shouldn't be doing that!"

"Well, he seemed pretty competent. Why do I need to be here when he comes?"

"I can't get off that early, and he'll want someone around since we've got all that equipment hooked up. I told him to bring the lighting catalogs too. I figured by the time he fixes the circuit, I'll be home and we can pick out our light fixtures."

"Works for me, I guess." The timer in the kitchen beeped. "Hey, you going to smash the potatoes or you want me too?"

"I'll do it. You just relax." I got a little lost on who was saying what at the end here. Maybe just a couple of dialogue tags for clarity?

While they cleaned the kitchen after dinner, Steve said, "You want to watch a flick tonight on the TV? We've got a DVD we haven't seen".

"I really should get some things ready for tomorrow. I've got a course proposal to push through at the faculty meeting, and notes from the library committee to type up." Chad finished rinsing his dishes. "Do you mind if I hike over to the house and work in the office for an hour or so?" I’m surprised he sounds so causal about going over to the house by himself. Then again, I don’t think he really remembers his dreams and such.

"Go ahead. I'll find something on TV to watch." Steve wiped the counter and tossed the paper towel in the trash. "We can watch the movie in bed when you're finished."

"What movie is it, again?"

"A Separate Peace. Uck. Sorry. Didn’t care for the story, but I read it high school… so it’s been awhile.*Smile*It's based on the John Knowles book."

Chad shook his head. "Never heard of it."

Steve flopped on the sofa and surfed through the channels. "It's good. You'll like it. Hey, look! There's a Columbo on! I'm all set!"

"Which one is it?"

"Let's see. Oh, it's that one! Ray Milland plays a psycho gardnergardener. Columbo catches him by..."

"Yeah, yeah. If you know the ending, why watch it?" Chad's face dimpled as he spoke.

Steve waved at him. "Shush, now! Go off and do your course thingee, whatever it is."

Chad suppressed a chuckle and left for the house and his office. A jumble of two by fours, plywood, and assorted construction debris cluttered the back yard one word. A vinyl sheet covered the rear of the house where Helga's crew removed the wall to make room for the new breakfast nook. The plastic waved in the slight breeze like a gray ghost.

Chad weaved his way to the house and pushed through the sheet to the kitchen. The new cabinets for the island surprised him. They must have arrived today. Can't wait to have a real kitchen back. The room hovered between light and shadow as the yellow glow from the streetlight oozed through the windows. He flicked the switch on the back wall, but the room remained dark. Damn. He stumbled to the front of the house and tried the switch there. The old chandelier in the stairwell blazed and dazzled him. Jeeze. First it's too dark, and now it's too bright. I feel like Goldilocks. The stairs creaked as he took them two at a time.

He turned on the lights in the office and wrinkled his nose at the smell of burnt electrical circuits. A charcoal smear marred the outlet between the two desks. At least everything else looks okay. He examined the UPS connections and then powered up his computer. I guess nothing's damaged. He sat at his desk and connected to the file server on campus.

Over two hours later, the lights in the stairwell flickered and went out. The stairs creaked as if someone skulked upward. A tingle of adrenalin tickled his fingers as he turned his chair toward the hallway. "Who's there?"

No answer.

"Steve, if that's you, I swear I'll strangle you!"

The footfalls on the stairway crept closer while the stairs moaned with each step. Someone was out there, that was certain. Then giggles bubbled up from the darkness and Chad recognized Steve's laugh. "God damn it, Steve! What if I'd had a gun and shot you?"

Steve stood in the doorway and a huge grin split his face. "You don't have a gun. But if you did, and if you shot me, don't hide it in the orchids. Columbo will catch you and you'll go to the pen for sure." *Bigsmile*

"Right. So your show is over?"

"Yeah. It's been two hours, hon. Where you been, anyway?"

Chad stared at his computer screen. "Working. I guess time kind of got away from me. I've been writing this paper -- it's all about the Incubus legend."

"Incubus? Didn't they sneak into bed and suck guys off?" Steve rubbed his crotch against Chad's shoulder and leered at him.

"That's one version. Usually, though, they assumed female form to drain semen from men. They're called a succubus when they're in female form. Then they'd change from succubus to incubus, from female to male. That's when they'd sleep with women and deposit the stolen semen. In the legend, that's how they reproduced."

"That's romantic." Steve grinned and put his hands on his hips. "Let me see if I've got this right. They used someone else's semen to impregnate the women? Then the children weren't theirs, right? They'd be the children of the guy they sucked off and the woman they inseminated."

"They didn't suck anybody off. You're making fun of me. " He frowned and scrolled through his document. " Most likely, the legend started as a superstitious way to cover up incest. Besides, I don't think they thought much about the niceties of genetics and heredity." He pointed at the screen. "Here's what Hieronymus Bosch thought they looked like."

"That's creepy lookin' even though he does have a nice dick." Steve's hands massaged Chad's shoulders. " I'd like to suck you off. I bet that'd start a legend." He leaned forward and nuzzled his hair.

"Only in your mind!" He shrugged Steve away while he saved his document. "It's pretty late. I'm not really in the mood; I think I'd just like to turn in." He stood and inspected Steve. "You smell nice. Did you take a shower?"

"Yeah, I did. Just for you, lover." He nestled his head in Chad's neck while his tongue slithered up the tendons and muscles to slip inside his ear. "You smell nice too. Nice and stinky."

Chad hugged him before he pulled back and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry. You were so nice to me tonight, and I just ran off and buried myself in my research. Forgive me?"

Steve's eye's narrowed and his mouth tilted in a little grin. "Let me think. How can you make it up to me?" He slipped his hands inside Chad's shirt and tickled his nipples while he pressed their bodies close together.

His lover's hard urgency thrust against his own flaccid weariness. His body stiffened for a moment and then relaxed in the other's embrace. As if on cue, Steve took the opportunity to strip off Chad's shirt. He pulled it over Chad's head, still partly buttoned, and it crumpled to the floor, sleeves wrong-side-out. Next, Steve attacked his belt and slacks, eager to expose his lover's flesh. Chad relaxed and cooperated. He slipped his shoes off and let his pants join his shirt in a wrinkled mess on the floor.

"Let me turn out the lights, okay? " Chad flicked off the overhead light and his computer monitor. The yellowish gleam of the streetlights cast ghostly shadows that cloaked their bodies. Chad at last slipped out of his underwear and turned his back to hide his soft cock from his lover's view.

"That's more like it," Steve murmured. He wrapped his arms about Chad's chest and clutched him close while he thrust against the hard butt that now confronted him. "I love it when you're naked like this." He shoved him forward and bent him over the desk while he unzipped his pants and pulled out his hard member.

Chad lay receptive on the desk and stared at the charred outlet on the wall. Thoughts of Duane danced through his head. At the Tool Box, Duane had performed in a jock strap. Then, the sinew and muscle of his lithe body rippled in the flashing lights of the bar; now, the same images spun in the shadows of Chad's imagination. At last Chad's loins tingled with the beginnings of desire. Uh-oh. That doesn’t bode well…

Steve knelt behind him and spread his cheeks. A hard moistness massaged his hole, lubricated it, relaxed it. Fantasies of Duane impaled his mind while Steve's tongue penetrated his interior. He moaned and raked his cock across the keyboard on his desk. The edges of the keys scraped against his taut skin with a tinge of menace.

Steve stood and spread his cheeks. Steve did that at the beginning of the last paragraph too. Chad winced at the first probe of his cock, but dreams of Duane eased the pain and relaxed his muscles. Chad's body jerked in rhythm with Steve, but his desire writhed with another. Steve thrust inside him and pushed his head against the wall while his body froze, convulsed, then froze again. His breath heaved in deep gusts while he bulldozed into Chad's bowels and pushed at his torso. Three breaths shuddered from his lips in slow succession, and then it was over. Chad's desire, though, remained unfulfilled.

"Wow, I needed that." He massaged Chad's back with his hands and his crotch waggled against his butt. "Was it good for you?"

Chad pushed back from the wall and his still rigid cock dragged once again across the keyboard. "It was great." He thought of ice cubes and women's breasts ouch*Laugh* to quell his desire, lest his lover t see his unsatisfied cock.

"Hey, that's our first time doin' it in our new house! How cool is that?" Steve pulled his pants up and looked around the room. "I don't see any Kleenex in here. Are there towels in the bathroom?"

"They're in the built-in drawers in the hall. I'll get 'em." Chad padded to dark hallway. While he dug through the drawers, a faint red light flickered from the bathroom. A frisson of fear flashed for a moment as two red eyes seem to peer at him from the darkness. Then the image coalesced to the night light by the sink and its reflection in the mirror. Nice and creepy and spine tingingly… Jeeze. What's with me? I'm so jumpy tonight. The moment of panic stilled his desire. At least that problem is solved. He pulled two hand towels from the drawer.

Back in the office, he tossed one to Steve, who wiped himself and zipped his fly. "You look hot like that -- naked in the shadows."

Chad faked a grin and squirmed into his shorts. He pretended to wipe at the desk while he straightened the keyboard, mouse and papers. "I'm always ready to please, I guess."

Both men jumped when the phone on the wall shrilled. "Shit, who could that be?" Steve glanced at his watch. "It's after eleven." He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

Chad pulled his pants on and slipped into his shirt, which he left unbuttoned. He flicked on the stairwell light and most of the shadows fled from the room.

"Whoa, slow down, Mom. What do the doctors say?" Steve's hand shook as he pulled out his desk chair and collapsed into it.

Chad slipped into his shoes, but didn't bother to tie them. He stood behind Steve and caressed his shoulders while Steve gripped his hand and squeezed.

"The doctors think he's okay, then?" A pause while he listened. "Uh huh." Another pause. "Look, I can be there in a couple of hours." Pause. "No, I want to come. I'll stay in my room at home." Hm, that doesn’t sound good either.

Steve held the receiver away from his ear and rolled his eyes. Chad could hear his mother's voice squawk, but couldn't make out the words. "Right, then. I'll see you in a couple of hours. Goodbye, Mom."

"So what's happened?"

"They think that Dad's had a heart attack. The doctors have him in the hospital and he's doing fine, but they're going to do some kind of procedure tomorrow." He turned worried eyes to Chad. "I really need to be there. Mom's in a panic and she needs my help."

"Yeah, of course. " Chad reflected for a moment. "I really have to go to that faculty meeting tomorrow. I'll drive down right after that."

"No, that's not necessary. Tell you what. I'll call you tomorrow after I talk to the doctors and we can decide then." He stood and looked around. "I've got to go pack."

The two retreated back to the refuge of the garage apartment. The house rested dark and silent in the gloom of the night.


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MESSAGE THREAD
*Star*
Review: Our House: Chapter 11: Bill · 03-21-08 2:31pm
by Sephina Author IconMail Icon
Re: Review: Our House: Chapter 11: Bill · 03-21-08 5:13pm
by Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Review: Our House: Chapter 11: Bill · 03-21-08 6:21pm
by Sephina Author IconMail Icon

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