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Title of novel:Crimson Cries Chapter number: 3 Author: DusktilDawn Setting: The scents were powerful as you described the scent of Palladin as he walked by Aiden. The sight and emotions embedded into this chapter were tense in more ways than one. Character Development: Palladin – Vilkacris who has come to offer a parlay In order to protect both kinds from the Nine. High class attitude. Isn’t easily offended and knows how to make rude comment without sound snobbish. He does understand the urgency to change all his kin’s bad habits. Daniella – Both disgusted and curious. Not keen on the fact that she did not smite all from the incident before with regards to Aiden. She is not too thrilled with the news that Palladin delivered. Aiden – This is the first time you see a jealous streak arise within Aiden between his lover and another man. Everything will at least most things were going great until they mention the injection. Part and after that it was not a pretty site. It is safe to assume that Aiden has no plans to follow through with the injection part? Plot: Should Aiden be leery of his instincts? Are they valid? Why was Sanhet hunting human flesh on that night if not to feed? what dramatic event took place to make Sanhet make him want to change his lifestyle? What kind of look did they share? Why would Aiden get jealous? It is safe to assume that Aiden has no plans to follow through with the injection part? Grammatical: n/a Personal Opinion: I love this chapter. You get a good view on all the characters all the way around although you can’t help but wonder what is going on what Spencer and if all this drama if affecting him where he is at. I can’t wait to see how all this is going to play out once Palladin leaves and the conversation. I know the stuff is going to hit the fan. Chapter Three: Parley Still grumbling under his breath, Aiden started toward the front door just as Daniella ended the phone call. He knew it was Spencer on the line, his senses recognizing the subtle indications of someone familiar reaching out to them. Sudden anger and apprehension trickled over him like a cold winter rain. His footsteps halted, confused by the emotions emanating from her. Fuck! This ain’t good. Spencer, where the hell are you? “Don’t move!” She hissed, staring at the entrance. As her eyes closed, he saw her shoulders tense. [Comment – what does she sense that Aiden doesn’t?] Adrenaline flowed through him. Who’s at the door, and why the hell didn’t I feel anything in the protective wards around the brownstone? Before Spencer left, all three of them intertwined their dark gifts to create a safe sanctuary until the private investigator returned. Obviously, Daniella’s magic was stronger, more ancient--darker. She felt things more intuitively than he did, or Spencer. He was considered young for a vampire, only a month or so old. She’d told them that their full powers would come in time, but he also preferred to rely on other methods, just like Spencer. His hand slid across his left pec to the tan holster and his Sig Sauer that he kept loaded with silver bullets these days. White knuckles gripped the handle. His nails lengthened and a surge of vampiric strength filled him as he strode to the door. Gleaming fangs slid over his lower lip. “Wait. Something...” Apprehension slithered in thick waves around him. Whoever stood outside, they weren't selling cookies. He raised both hands, aiming the weapon at the door. “I don’t feel a damn thing, Daniella, so I’m trusting you here.” A month ago, he didn’t know a damn thing about werewolves, or vampires for that matter. They were nothing more than Hollywood myths. None of it was real—or so he thought. It was daylight, so he knew it wasn't a vamp. If this was a vilkacis, he'd learned from Daniella that they were more difficult to kill than those blood-sucking assholes. [Comment – If he thought his life was going to return to normal I guess he is more than way off on that guess. What drama lies around this corner?] “It’s daylight. Whatever…whoever it is, he’s in human form…weaker. I sense…” Delicate brows furrowed as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, stone determination blazed on her face. “We shouldn’t be rude.” He glanced over his shoulder, stunned. Her expression held no affability. “You’re going to invite them in?” His arms lowered. She strolled by him and opened the door before he could argue. Too shocked to do anything else, he slipped the gun back into its holster, keeping his hand close by it before snapping his mouth closed. “Daniella Rolfe?” A deep, eloquent voice resonated across the foyer. Aiden detected a slight accent, though it was difficult to tell from what region.[Suggestion – insert space between full stop and ‘Maybe’]Maybe Italian? “Who are you?” she asked, discourtesy dripping from her every word. The contemptuous tone she delivered her response dumfounded him. [Suggestion – deletion of the word ‘she’ and adding the word in may make it flow a little smoother or not: ‘The contemptuous tone shedelivered in her response’]One minute, she’s ready for the battle, and the next, she’s inviting him. Now we’re back to square one. Christ! His grasp on the gun tightened. [Comment – bet he thinks she can’t make up her mind and that women are just so complicated] “My name is Palladin Sandalio.” He extended a hand out to her. [Comment – what does that have to do with anything and why is he there?] Aiden couldn’t believe his eyes. Daniella nodded, as if knowing who he was. She offered a slight curtsy and placed her palm into his, her eyes alight with a familiar crimson hue. The stranger bent his thin torso and pressed her pale knuckles to his lips. Cruel jealousy left a bitter taste in his mouth until a thought flashed through his mind. Sanehet sent me. His back stiffened. Without a word, Daniella spun around. “Come.” She spared Aiden a cursory glance, her expression now unreadable and her eyes resuming their verdant translucency. He studied Palladin as he closed the door behind him. Standing almost as tall as Spencer, the stranger looked leaner, more sinewy. His movements reflected a familiar grace. It took a moment to realize that both Sanehet and Daniella possessed this rare quality in their movements as well. Like ballet dancers. Palladin stood at the door, hesitant, regarding him with eyes that were the color between hazel and topaz. The stranger waited, as if wanting his approval before crossing the threshold. Surprised, and knowing he hid it badly, Aiden moved to the side and flourished his arm out toward the sitting room. “Whatever Daniella says.” [Comment – I could feel the contempt he made no attempt to hide.] Thin, brown brows rose over those jewel-like eyes. He dipped his head just as decorously as he had for Daniella. He ambled past and Aiden could smell something…preternatural. It tinged his nostrils like lavender snuff mixed with rich, dark earth…and wet fur. What the hell? Vilkacis? He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, refusing to drop his guard for one minute. She might have invited him, but I don’t have to like it. [Comment – True but you may want to find out what is going before you put a hurting on him.] He made his way back to the chaise he'd previously occupied and sat, ill at ease. Every nerve twitched in warning. Daniella remained standing, though she moved closer to him. Palladin removed his stylish trench coat and placed it over the armrest with slow, deliberate movements, as if sensing his unease. Positioning himself on the edge of the sofa across from them, he sat, calm and collected, like this was an everyday visit. Aiden noticed the polished gleam of manicured nails and the precise creases in the man’s slacks. Something his mother used to say flashed through his memory. “The sharper the crease, the higher the class.” This guy hasn’t done a hard day’s work in his life. [Comment – depends on what his Palladin’s definition of hard work] Chocolate colored hair, cut long and blunt, framed a young, handsome face with eyes that shone with the empyreal light of all dark creatures like themselves. “Aiden, this is Prince Palladin Sandalio.” Daniella titled her head when she said the dignified appellation. Aiden’s eyes widened, if just a little. A prince? I knew there was more here. He smirked, though there was little friendliness. “And here I was expecting Girl Guide cookies.” His eyes narrowed. “Who are you, and why are you here?” His cop's instincts took over. His weapon slid out with ease and he aimed it at the stranger. [Comment – Directly to the point] Palladin looked not the least bit concerned, staring with quiet interest at him. “A fledgling. You are Daniella’s mate.” A knowing smile creased the corners of his eyes. Shocked, Aiden didn’t know what to say to that. He barely acknowledged Daniella when she took a seat next to him. The prince leaned forward. His slender fingers wrapped around the barrel of Aiden's Sig and he lowered it without one iota of fear. “I would appreciate it if you would remove that condescending look from your face. I don’t believe I’ve done anything to warrant such disrespect.” He felt Daniella fingers brush against his thigh. Aiden, she warned. [Comment – Should Aiden be leery of his instincts? Are they valid?] I don’t trust him, he shot back. We will hear him out. Gnashing his teeth, he reluctantly placed the weapon away and leaned back against the chaise. “Why did my father send you to me?” she questioned, her voice low and cold. Palladin gave him a slight nod and shifted his gaze to Daniella. “He asked that I help you.” “And you are doing this out of the kindness of your…heart?” Aiden grinned. Who’s not trusting who now? “You should be asking what he is,” she murmured. “Okay, what are you?” He waited. The other man smiled, revealing a row of perfect teeth that shone against the tanned hue of his skin. “I am the illegitimate son of Prince Maurice of Spain. My half-uncle, Prince Frederick Henry took my rightful place. I, at the time, had other matters to contend with.” “I’m not really up on history, so you wanna help me out here?” Sarcasm hung thick in Aiden’s tone. “He is vilkacis.” Aiden stared at Daniella in stunned silence before turning to gawk at the man across from him. “You just let him waltz in—” He stopped and realized that his puny wards had failed to detect a werewolf. [Comment – Was Aiden upset at himself that he did not detect the werewolf before hand.] As if reading Aiden’s thoughts, Palladin leaned forward. “I’ve learned to shield myself so that others cannot sense me. Like you...and Daniella, there is no other like me.” “You haven’t answered my question.” She pushed her mane of auburn hair across one shoulder. Aiden knew her well enough to see the hidden agitation in her movements. “You did not sense your father’s approach to the castle, am I right?” She nodded, her face a mask of circumspect interest. “Few dark creatures can shield themselves like us. Your father…and I…we happened upon the same feeding ground one night. He nearly killed me. He was the best opponent I’d ever fought.” Palladin shook his head and stared off into the distance. “I don’t know…perhaps he felt sorry for me. Maybe I was his first convert. We were both hunting human flesh that night, but for different reasons. He saved my life…and I was grateful for his guidance. [Comment – Why was Sanhet hunting human flesh on that night if not to feed?] “I don’t understand,” she said. Aiden knew Daniella's confused expression mirrored his own. He moved forward in his seat, eager to hear more. “Your father...he grew tired of the killing, the senseless loss of innocent life. At around the same time he found me, he'd changed his feeding habits and forced me to do so as well or, as he put it, he would end my existence. Centuries of guilt can play havoc on us immortals. Your father began to see things...differently, and he can be quite persuasive." He paused, his eyes taking on a haunting glow. "It is the reason why many of us end our lives in solitude and loneliness.” The prince leaned back, making himself more comfortable on the couch. [Comment – what dramatic event took place to make Sanhet make him want to change his lifestyle?] Aiden’s scrutinizing gaze traveled up and down the Spaniard. The cut of his clothes looked expensive, and he held an aristocratic air about him. Try as he might to read him, he slammed into a solid wall every time he attempted to enter the stranger's mind. Palladin stared back, a knowing grin stretching his russet lips. “You can try to read my thoughts, but you won’t be successful.” He shrugged his large shoulders and gave the prince a look that said, “Hell, I’m not stopping either.” “You still haven’t answered my question.” Daniella's shoulders remained rigid, but she stared back with omnipotent calm. Both men turned to her, the sharpness in her tone difficult to miss. “I have traveled far, Daniella. There will be a parley—” “A parley?” He turned to Aiden. “A gathering of vilkacis. I am here to tell you the place, date and time. It is your decision to assemble the vampire kin and have them meet there.” [Comment – What Daniella and her kind have to sacrifice?] Daniella crossed one long leg over her knee, bouncing a sandaled foot in a nonchalant manner. “Does this sound like insanity?” “We will come under a strict directive truce between our kind. There are more dangerous things out there now than just us. No harm shall come to any vamp by wolf, and I will expect the same respect.” “And you think everyone will just play nice?” Aiden offered a derisive snort. Daniella had explained the histories between their two races. Has Hell finally frozen over? Thankfully, he saw Daniella didn’t like the idea any more than he did, judging by the firm set of her lips. [Comment – That’s the way it looks.] “The treaty is already in place. No vilkacis will dare break the oath. Now you must do the same.” “You expect me to gather vampire kin, the same kin that want my blood, that want to destroy me, and have them agree to meet with vilkacis cur?” she spat out. Aiden drew back at the hostility in her voice, but silently praised her temper. “It wasn’t easy to convince my cur to do anything of this nature either, Daniella.” Palladin’s face wrinkled with loathing. “But the nature of what hunts not just you, but all of us, is what’s important here. If we are to stop the Nuasair Nine—” “Have you thought this through by any chance?” Aiden couldn’t believe what he was suggesting. “They need a…a prin—” [Comment – What he going to say princess or something other than that before correcting himself.] One of Daniella’s brows arched with disdainful innuendo. The prince stopped, smiled and tilted his head with practiced charm. “A queen.” His expression sobered. “They need guidance, someone strong to lead them. You are The First, Daniella.” They shared a look Aiden didn’t understand. Hot jealousy flared again. [Comment – What kind of look did they share? Why would Aiden get jealous? He doesn’t seem like to be the jealous type.] Palladin’s voice took on a hushed cadence. “There is only annihilation for us, unless we fight back and destroy them. You’ve seen the damage they can do. It’s no longer pitchforks, torches and stakes. Our kin are running blind, picked off like ripened grapes, and innocents are dying alongside them.” His fingers skimmed over his meticulously groomed goatee. “I’ve found complete dens destroyed.” Aiden’s head whipped up and he stared hard at Daniella. She found the exact same thing, only covens. He saw her shoulders stiffen even more. “Your kind feasts off innocents.” Daniella stuck out her chin in unyielding bravado. Palladin stared at his manicured nails, nonchalant, lost in thought. “And so does yours, Daniella.” He looked up, not the least bit insulted. “Like you, I turned away from the bloodshed. Vilkacis can survive without killing humans, without spreading the poison contained in our blood. I feed on wild game to sate my hunger.” A sheepish grin creased over his angular face. “Well, I must confess that I did stray from my diet recently.” Aiden jerked forward. “What do you mean by that?” [Comment – It had better not been an innocent.] “I stopped at Stronick Castle, following Sanehet’s trail. I had other matters to deal with, messages to send out. I, unfortunately, was tardy. You missed one, Daniella.” He licked his lips as if the memory was a succulent one. She gazed back, cold and unflinching. Aiden felt like someone just poured cold water down his back. “There was someone else there?” He despised the quiver in his voice. Those were memories he wished to forget--and soon. “A fledgling, freshly made, two days at the most. A very tender thing, actually.” “One of Kon’s pets no doubt.” She looked away in distaste. At the word pet, Aiden shivered. He’d been one of those to the demented Teanna, forced into a slow blood frenzy in order to lure Daniella to the castle. Humans willing to become vampire fodder, hoping for the gift of eternal life. Jesus Christ! The young girl they placed in my cell-- The memory of the woman’s death still stung, even though his hands did not kill her, yet he still blamed himself. Teanna finished the job he refused to do. By not feeding from her, that she-bitch, Teanna, snapped the woman's scrawny neck like a twig in front of him. “You destroyed the fledgling?” Daniella whispered. “I’d prefer…delectably digested.” [Comment – Same difference – high class folks.] Her features hardened with disgust. “I had other things to contend with at the time. I should have been more thorough—” “None of us are to blame, and don’t start that guilt trip either,” Aiden murmured as he grasped her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. [Comment – His still a little sore over the whole order.] “I agree with Aiden.” He stared back, stunned by the concurrence. “Where is this parley?” There was an austere edge to her countenance. Aiden sensed it as keenly as if they were his own emotions. Tense, uneasy, confused…and worse yet, unsure. Seven centuries of hatred between them and he expects the feud to be forgotten in one day? Hell, Rome wasn’t built in a fucking day. “Spain. My homeland, and hopefully neutral ground. I commissioned a cavern dug out of an old abandoned mine some forty-five kilometers west of the city of Seville. The village is located just on the border of Cadiz. I invested in a ruined castle and have taken residence there--for now.” Daniella's eyes widened. “What kind of mine?” He grinned like a child who guarded the best kept secret. “Silver. A tailings damn broke there some time ago, closing the entire operation down. I purchased it, brought in some crews and…” He puckered his lips and shrugged at the shocked look on their faces. “Does your kin know where they’re meeting?” Aiden found this hard to swallow. “Being in the vicinity of raw silver, is this not a good will offering?” His expression held stark sincerity. “And what do you expect from vampire kin in return?” The corners of Daniella’s mouth curled upward, though there was little mirth. “An injection.” [Comment – I don’t think that is going to go over too well with Aiden.] “Fuck you!” Aiden jumped to his feet. “The last time I was injected, I was held prisoner in a cell, and the blood frenzy...not another goddamn cocktail! That’ll never happen again, got it?” He drew back his canines with difficulty, his hands clenching and relaxing as he glared down at the prince. [Comment – Yeah, see that didn’t go over too well with him. Too much left to chance.] Palladin rose, giving them a contrite nod as he reached for his jacket. “I will leave you to ponder more on this, but it’s wise not to wait too long. The parley begins in twelve days, during the waning moon.” He drew a business card out of the pocket of the trench coat. “This is my home address. My personal cell is on there too.” [Comment – Think the Prince has outstayed his welcome.] Aiden suppressed a sardonic chuckle. A werewolf with a cell! Don't that beat all. Daniella snatched the card from his hand. “Thank you,” was all she said. Together they walked him to the door. Palladin stepped outside and stopped on the landing. “This is not a ploy to trap you. I know there is little love lost between us, but…” He turned and faced them, grasping his hands in front of him. “This may be our last chance to survive, perhaps set new laws for all our kin to follow. The future is changing, and we must change with it." His voice dropped to a mere whisper. "A life without killing, and retribution for those who do so, to live harmoniously alongside humans.” “I do so now, Prince Sandalio. Thank you.” With a curt nod, she closed the door. Aiden stood for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek. Man, is she pissed. He took a deep breath and followed her back into the sitting room. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Writing is like making love. Don't worry about the orgasm, just concentrate on the process. —Isabel Allende ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** T.S. Presley |
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