Nathii reviews

...For my writing of course! ; )
OK. So I've entered an item into a contest and I want to get as much feedback as possible before the contest ends.

Here is it:

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #1399056 by Not Available.

What I'm looking for:
1. Do I properly portray Marie's "special" needs?
2. Do I properly portray Susannah's grief?
3. I'm not sure Marie's feelings of joy and happiness are defined enough. Any suggestions on how to make them clearer would be great.

Anything else you notice, please rant about.
I'm a "big boy" and love being chewed out.
Bring it baby!
Thanks in advance,
ResidentGeek

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