Erotica Harem

Review: Crimson Cries

Chapter Fifteen

by Dawne


Setting: the lear jets, Palladins and Daneilla's
Already described so not necessary, just enough little detail added to ground the reader int he scene.

Characters: Daniella, Aiden, Palladin, Spencer

Daniella, still upset about everything she's learned and seen, wary of Aiden's reaction, but determined to follow thorugh

Aiden, confused but standign by her

Palladin, suave and sophisticated as ever
Spencer, interigued and attracted


Plot: The two pairs leave on sepearte planes to their destinations, to ultimately meet up later. Fearing his reaction, Daniella tells Aiden everything she has learned and now msut do. Aiden, is still on her side. He may not udnerstand it all but he lvoes her and is devoted and determined.

Spencer and Palladin chat, Spencer finds out Palladin has no one special now. Palladin has to tell Spencer everything too. Spencer relates the attack on him at his grandmother's house--Palladin actually swears, surprising Spencer.

Grammaticals: Only a couple things noted:

How do you do where in Egypt this couple is?
----How do you know where.....

His fingers crept up upward to where the pendant lay hidden inside his shirt. (This is a little awkward--I had to read it a cuple of times)
-----His fingers crept up to the pendant hidden inside his shirt.


Comment: I like the easy pace of this chapter, most of it in dialogue, which is great as each pair relates things to each other. Easy tranistion to what happens next and everyone is informed. Palladin swearing when it's not in hsi character was a nice bit of humor--gave me a chuckle but I imagine he'll be sweariang a lot more before its all finished. Got to catch my breath after the pace of the last chapters but I believe this is the calm before the storm. Shits going to hit the fan soon. Very smoothly done. INfo given given without an info dump since we learned Daniellas past as she did, using dialogue to let Aiden in on it didn't make it seem like repetition. We heard it form Aiden's pov, which made all the difference--seeing his reaction. Me likey!

Pat



http://www.freewebs.com/patricbrueni

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