Erotica Harem

Review of: Physical Therapy, Chapter One
Author: DuskTilDawn
Reviewer: Mathguy (Bill)

Hi, this is Bill, the MathGuy. I'm catching up on some reviewing today...

General Impressions
This is a really great first chapter. I can visualize Rhea, understand much of personality, and am eager to know more about her. There's a lot of mystery introduced here -- but it is mystery that teases the reader and makes one long for more. Exactly what does "hands on" mean for a sex therapist? What about this mysterious new patient, to say nothing of his sexy-and-infuriating-at-the-same time brother? Something tells me this is the start of a dark love-hate relationship, that there is more here than meets (or meats) the eye.

Oh, and then there is Rhea's enormously annoying mother to cope with as well, along with wondering how she can afford a penthouse with Jackson Pollack paintings. Lots of mystery here just tickling at the reader, making them want more!

Favorite Phrases
I love the clicking heels, they speak loudly about her nature!

I bet the delivery boy is only here as a one-time foil for Rhea, but I hope not as he is so deftly drawn.


Characters
Mostly we meet Rhea, get great and vivid visual images of her, have hints of a big set of back stories about her, her mother, her ex, the mysterious Swedish mentor, all contributing to making her what she is today. As a father myself, I'm wondering what paternal influences there are in her life.

Plot
Such tempting, tantalizing hints here, so many different ways you could take this story, and the opening chapter leaves them all open! This just contributes to the storytelling and compels the reader to go on! This is very, very impressive!

Setting
The boutique shops, elegant but slightly risque, are nicely drawn. Her office is likewise well sketched.

Dialog
Great dialog, edgy and believable! I loved it!


My reviews always have suggestions for improvement. Please know that they are offered in the spirit of making this fine piece even better.

I don't have much to offer in the way of suggestions for this -- I thought it was very polished and professional already.

I'm burdened by a surfeit of knowledge on parts of this. For example, where you write

Well...see...I'm a graduate dean at a University. Individuals don't issue diplomas, institutions do. O'Conner might have signed the diploma, but probably not. This will bother the graduate deans who read this, doubtless and enormous and pivotal market share, but still it could be readily fixed.

A little more troubling is the "hands on" aspect of the therapy. A licensed therapist -- and there is a reference to licensing -- would be big trouble almost at once for having "hands on" sexual contact with a client. I know this is really fantasy, but this will be a delicate needle to thread if you wish to maintain verisimilitude. On the other hand, the use of surrogates in sex therapy is well established -- it is just the therapist herself who cannot be the surrogate.

OK, professorial lecture mode turned off. That ego trip of lecturing is a hard habit to break.

There was one thing missing in Rhea's office that surprised me: no receptionist. I know she is just starting her practice, but, geeze, she's got a penthouse with Jackson Pollack originals! Surely she could spring for a gum-chewing, hunky gay receptionist with a heart of gold? That might afford an opportunity for some humor later on in the story too, and to serve as a foil for the dark Mr. Meany Brother.

Other than these minor points, I didn't find anything else. If there are any improvements to be had in the wordsmithing, it is beyond my meager talents to find.

Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.


Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading -- so please keep on writing more just like this!!!

Bill, the MathGuy

I'm not evil, I just write that way...

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