Erotica Harem

Crimson Cries
DusktilDawn
Chapter 6

Plot:
A glimpse into the other side, you present the Nine and their attack on a coven of vamps. You've intro'd the leader, sev, and given him a motive to kill off all the vamps though I'm not sure why the werewolves too since he is one. That part is shady for me. Could be a domination thing. He's got an Egyptian girlfriend who is trying to dig up Daniella's father or else just investigate the tomb.

Settings/Desc:
Barn, dead vamps, ash, blood, gore.

Character Growth:
Complex adversary determined to kill Daniella.

My Opinion:
Many characters introduced here and I may not remember them all this round, but with there being nine, it must be done. i will remember Sev and Dom. I like them. Let's see what happens next.

Edits:
Sev’s stared at the open storm cellar.
(Should it be Sev?)

Now if Daniella and her brood could be this (rep:easy). He knew Dom read his mind as (rep: easily) as if he said it aloud.

Though he looked at ease, his instincts never (rep: rested). His other elbow (rep: rested) on the table, his chin cupped in his hand.

One, we have to catch her (rep:first), and two, Daniella will sense all of us a mile away. We need to kill those closest to her (rep: first); we must weaken her.”

Her (rep: leather) pants creaked as she seated herself more comfortably. Dressed in her usual goth attire, this little hellion had proven her weight in (rep: leather).

Dom leaned closer (to the) phone, sharing a concerned look with him before speaking. “We’re immune to that.”

He recalled the massive Egyptian that (who) tenderly held Daniella Rolfe in his arms out on the moors of Scotland not so long ago.

No one knew how to take her, especially Chantal, who was a nice prairie girl that (who) unfortunately succumbed to the lure of illicit drugs instead of winning herself the first ever Woman’s Kickboxing and Golden Gloves championship.

“Marshall has (a) point.”