Erotica Harem

Traci Ana -

>> He saved them when he was in Irnia so he hopefully could trade them to the Unangi tribe in exchange for access to the Hemec fuel in the mountains. He doesn't care much for them. To him they serve no other purpose than as a bargaining tool <<

You're right! I forgot that, but now that you mention it, I remember. On the other hand, I also recall that this was a brief mention. I suggest that you periodically reinforce his disdain for the statues, since this obviously plays a small but important part in the plot. Maybe you did, but if so, it wasn't enough for me. Of course, chapter lag is involved. But countering that is the fact that because I'm reviewing, I'm reading more carefully than I would if casually reading for pleasure.


>> As I've gotten into later chapters, I worry that I'm veering away from the erotic parts in place of plot movement/transitional chapters, and political stuff. <<

This is true. I will say that I LOVE the under-the-surface sexual power play between Melia and Enrue. It's a lot of fun seeing them fight each other for control, with sexual power under the surface (especially Melia, who knows all the tricks, and Enrue who falls for them).

I will say one slightly negative thing (sorry!) about the direction this is taking. I've planned to mention this, but I was going to give you a few more chapters. But this seems like an opportune time.

When the story began, we had a pair of extremely sympathetic characters. I fell in love with both of them in the early (first chapter?) love/sex scene, and I rooted for her especially.

But they've been pretty much gone for quite a while, taking a back seat to the Melia / Enrue conflict. The problem is, neither of these characters is sympathetic! Melia is a cold, calculating assassin who uses her sex shamelessly. Enrue has decent political ideas, but he is stupidly blind to Melia's tricks, and he was willing to sell off his daughter for raw political gain. So as I read now, I am involved in a conflict between two people, neither of whom I particularly care about! The result is that I am reading for academic interest, to see how the conflict plays out. But I'm not emotionally involved in the reading experience as much as I would be if I were following a character I loved.

Does that make sense? Please understand, I'm still enjoying the story. It is well written, and the way Melia uses her sex to manipulate her target is fascinating. But I do wish I could have back the same emotional involvement I had at first with your initial characters.

Oh, and one minor point about eroticism in the recent story. The last two sex scenes have been a guy masturbating. As a hetero guy, this did nothing for me. Does it for women? (Oops... You don't have to answer that!). It's no big deal. The lack of emotional involvement I mentioned above is far more important to me. Just thought I'd mention it, since that's the subject you initially brought up.

TimM