Erotica Harem

Title:Lady Jessica

Chapter: One

Author:TimM

Plot: Lady Jessica is abducted while on the way to her betrothed. She was not happy with the idea of the arranged marriage.

Setting: countryside, Old Europe/England?

Characterization: Lady Jessica, young and inclined to matters of a sensual nature, her driver/chaperone, and Hardigan her abductor/would be suitor

Grammar: Great use of the old language I love the style, I appreciate you leaving off the thees and thous.

She watched, mesmerized, while he washed every part of his body, from head to toe. Every part.
I think I would take out Every part. It doesn't seem to be needed the way you describe the action in the rest of the scene.

whistling Follow the Yellow Brick Road as he went.




Just My Personal Opinion: I love how you jumped from the past to the present. I look forward to the possible association of the Little River Review man and Jessica.

She took a deep breath, held it until her heart stopped pounding, and let it out slowly, willing herself to calm down.
There is just enough intrigue for me to wonder, was her heart pounding because she was writing such a story? Was it because perhaps she found him attractive? Or, was it both?

I'm hooked now!

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