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Rated: XGC · Message Forum · Adult · #619464

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Aug 13, 2007 at 8:53am
#1563479
Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1
by A Non-Existent User
Title of novel: Fire and Flesh
Chapter number: 1
Author: laregna

Setting: everything was perfect, the sights and smells, I couldnearly smell the smoke and soot from a fire.

Character Development: We learn Julius is loyal devoted subject, but given the opportunity he is a womanizer, interesting character. We learn of the King and his power and apparent aging before your eyes.

Historical Referencing: I noted a few things that I thought might be out of place but it is not because I researched anything. So the comments are strictly in my opinion, take them as such.

Plot: Wonderful plot! Womanizing, pirates, kings, I love this!!!! I love historical fiction and erotica, you are marrying them together.

Grammatical: A couple typos and such noted below, but by no means am I an expert.

Personal Opinion: I really like where this is going. The mystery is intriguing! I love how you ended the chapter.


Fire and Flesh



Chapter 1


Captain Julius Hampton strode into the vaulted chamber, the sound of his boots echoing off the white marble walls. Sunshine poured through the stained glass windows, creating a dappled pattern of color across the floor. Elegantly clad members of the court stood in the shadows of the great pillars, whispering in anticipation of the arrival of their king.

Julius swept his feathered cap off his head, smiling to Lady Morton and the Earl of Lexter. A wink sent her twittering. Julius smiled in warm remembrance. She was not the last lady he shared his bed with while in port, but she was the most enthusiastic. Perhaps, if the King’s Command was not imperative, they might meet later tonight.

Keeping his grin in place, he scanned the gathered gentry, looking for a common denominator amongst them. It might give him an idea of what Charles II, King of Reeding, had conjured up for the most decorated officer in the Royal Navy. Julius tossed one corner of his white cape over his shoulder allowing the gold braid on his dark blue coat to shine in the light.

Court did not always agree with his notions of proper conduct, but it was enjoyable to turn out in his very best from time to time. The ladies certainly liked the effect that fine velvet and matching hose had upon his still virile body.

A tall blonde blushed when he caught her eye and turned away, covering a giggle behind a painted fan. Her mother glowered, like the good protector such a ripe rosebud required. Just beyond stood the Royal Exchequer accompanied by the Duke of Perring. The short man to their left was clearly from the Southern Islands with dark skin and white teeth. However, he must hold an important position, as his rich clothing indicated. Julius studied him for a moment longer. Something tickled his memory…the man looked decidedly familiar. Connected with the royal family, before the Marche coup two years ago, he thought.

The royal summons must have something to do with commerce, Julius decided. A gold chain bearing the symbol of the treasury hung on the short man’s doublet. Two marines hovered in the background, trying to blend into the frills and lace of the court. However, Julius noted their sabers were not decorative, as was expected. The worn leather of their scabbards indicated the men were working.

What was happening?

Julius plastered a social smile on his face. Lady Arianna strode across the throne room, her tall, reedy, pale daughter simpering behind. The woman curtsied deeply, allowing Julius a lengthy glimpse of her creamy breasts. The daughter teetered, trying not to topple over in an attempt to mimic her mother’s seductive balancing act.

Bowing, Julius drew the lady to her feet. “It is so good to see you again, my lady. How fairs the family?”

She deployed her red lace fan, creating quite a wind which teased at the loose curls teasing the nape of her neck. “I am pleased to see you, Captain! I left your mother and father not but a week ago in fine health. I brought my Millicent for her Presentation. She’ll be quite the sensation this year, don’t you think?” she never answered his question.

He bit his tongue as he politely took in the debutante’s strained appearance. The poor girl looked about to faint. She would not fair well as long she shook like a leaf. Still, he swept her a deep bow. “You already have my heart, Lady Millicent.”

The girl’s eyes bugged and she gasped for air as she searched for the proper response. Poor thing.

Arianna swatted at Millicent’s arm. “What do you say, Milli?” In Court is it really proper to use a nickname? Even by a mother?

Millicent continued to appear much as a dying fish. At length, she found enough composure to mutter an inaudible, “Thank you, Captain.”

Doors slammed open behind the assembled crowd. A single trumpet heralded an announcement.

Julius sighed in relief. At least he wouldn’t be asked to accompany Millicent to this evening’s ball if the King demanded his presence.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! Make your welcome to Charles II, King of Reeding and Protector of the Island Nations!”

Everybody present sank in silent obeisance as their monarch entered.

Julius looked up as Charles walked past. It had been a year since his ship The King’s Sword made port at Reeding’s capital. In that time, the Throne Room at the Castle had been restored from the devastating fire after the Coup and it appeared the young king had left the vestiges of youth behind.

Charles now stood as tall as Julius. His shoulders had widened with maturity and his face showed the signs of responsibility and grief. The Coup had been bloody and costly. That night of horror stripped any last remnants of innocence from the king. Julius felt for the man.

He remembered well the sea battle where he had lost that precious innocence. Not but a green and seasick midshipman, he had watched the pirate captain slice his Commander’s throat. The evil man did not do it in a moment of anger. The laughter echoed through Julius’ memory. As did the Commander’s screams. War left little room in a man’s heart for generosity and devotion. It stripped it away, brutally and quickly.

The king should king be capitalized here?climbed the steps to his throne, carved of precious rosewood. Over his head hung the crest of Reeding, a sword and scythe crossed on a field of ocean blue. Sixteen golden stars bordered the banner, one for each of the island nations that Reeding governed. Charles turned to face his court and smiled.

Julius continued to study the man. Pale blue eyes, freckles and a thin mouth failed to smile. Tight red curls hinted at the ancestry from the Northlands. His chin remained clean shaven, an indication youth was not that far behind. The current fashion begged for a neat, short beard trimmed to a point.

Charles unclipped the golden dolphins that clasped his white robe at his throat. Handing the garment to a skittish footman, the King seated himself, crossing his long legs and leaningleaned upon his left fist. The blue silk of his doublet and hose matched his eyes.

A bit foppish, Julius decided. And not a bit flattering.

The king held out his right hand then snapped his fingers when the wine goblet did not immediately appear.

Perhaps his body appeared as a man now. But the petulant twist to his lips and dead eyes betrayed the alteration of character that Julius had been wishing for.

He stood with the rest of the court and began the tedious process of waiting for his monarch’s summons. The morning stretched on. The parade of petitioners appeared endless. Those unfortunate few not to appear dressed according to the king’s strict standards were issued an invitation to return when they were appropriately clad to stand in their king’s presence.

A few more ladies of the court stopped by to chat, indicating a willingness to join Julius in his lodgings after the ball. He flattered them and promised nothing. He reminded them all that he remained in the King’s Service and may be required to leave without notice. They pouted. Julius laughed, hiding his derision for their mindless chatter and needs.

Women were good for one thing, really. On a lonely night in port, they provided distraction and relief. Nothing more. His mother, of course, bore the one exception to the rule. And his ship. No other female would ever earn his undying love. He could respect them…that was enough.

“Captain Julius Hampton!”

Julius signaled to the herald making the announcement. The king should king be capitalized here since you are talking about THE kingand his advisors had disappeared from the dais. “Yes?” would the king really have left unnoticed?

The boy, wearing the dark green livery of the Royal House of Reeding, squeezed his way across the crowded floor. At length reaching Julius’ side. “Sir!” The boy’s face was flushed and his breath came in gasps.

“Yes?”

“You are to attend His Majesty in his private quarters at once!”

After taking leave of a young widow, Lady Jennet, he followed the herald. He’d have to remember Jennet. Her dark hair and generous curves had sparked an interest in bedroom antics the other lovelies this day had failed to do. Ah well, perhaps tonight. There was the ball, afterall.

Once through the massive, carven doors exiting the throne room, the devastation of the Coup became apparent. Although the burnt tapestries, rugs and artwork had been removed from the granite halls of the castle, scorch marks and the pervasive stink of smoke remained. Charles understood the monarchy was an exhibit of the power of Reeding. The public rooms of the Castle required immediate repair after the fire.

After winding through the massive structure, taking twists and turns deeper and deeper into the complex, the herald stopped before a small, plain door cut into new paneling installed over an old opening for a pair of massive doors. After knocking and receiving a muffled response, the boy swung the door open and indicated that Julius was to enter.

The last vestiges of the afternoon sun flooded the airy chamber through four windows. The leaded glass left a flickering effect on the floor, reminding Julius of a quiet sea under moonlight. He bowed to the king, seated on a white leather sofa set before the fireplace. Not sure of the year but would they really have had a white leather sofa? A fire burned on the grate, but did little to fill the cavernous fireplace. The day had been fine, a warm spring breeze followed Julius up from the docks. The flickering light nothing more than further demonstration of power and money.

“Your majesty.”

Julius waited to rise for some time before Charles muttered, “Yes, yes. Take a seat. You do know His Grace, the Duke of Perring and my cousin, Gregory Sheald, the Governor of the Persary Islands?

Julius nodded to the two men as he sat down on an available chair, the armrests carved to represent dolphins. He continued to study the chamber.

Clearly Charles chose to banish the fire from his personal spaces, as well. Expensive dark green silk covered the walls. A large framed painting hung over the mantle, depicting Charles riding a white charger I am picking up a dolphin theme in the king’s tastes, wouldn’t it go to further his air of aristocracy by having the painting be of him standing atop two dolphins hanging on to them by a rope in their mouths like a horse bridle? Just a thought, to show is gradure. into battle. That nearly elicited a chuckle from Julius. Charles had been hiding in the Northlands during the Coup. The King may have trained in the tilting yard, but not once had he led Royal Troops into battle.

Ah yes, Gregory. Now he remembered. Dark whispers came to him from nights spent in soft beds with soft women. Charles and Gregory as lovers. King Frederic’s consorts being pressed into service, hiding the shame and guilt of the royal family. Stories of women crying. Stories of women fighting back.

There had been rumors that the failed coup had not been conceived by the Duke of Marche, but by his wife, a former consort to King Frederic. Unfathomable, of course. However, it had to be known that her body had never been found.

What had she been subjected to?

His eyes skimmed over the bookcases holding a treasure of bound volumes. Was Charles an intellectual? Then he noticed the two marines again. They clung to the shadows, but watched Julius with singular attention. Bodyguards, perhaps?

“I see you’ve noticed Gregory’s little friends.”

With a final glance at the lethal looking men, Julius smiled and nodded at Charles. “I have, your majesty. Might I ask why?”

“They are the reason I have summoned you, my most decorated serving Naval officer.”

Gregory squirmed in his seat on the bench across from Julius. His lime green doublet gave his dark skin an unhealthy tinge. “They’ve been trying to kill me,” he muttered into a lace handkerchief.

“They?” Julius asked.

Perring cleared his throat. He stood near the windows sipping at a tankard of ale. “Clearly somebody who wishes to undertake the downfall of Persary. The docks in the harbortown of Veils were burned last month. The governor’s home suffered from a mysterious earthquake that shook only the foundations of the castlekeep. The men previously hired as Gregory’s personal servants died of a stomach ailment.”

In a voice that shook with far too much emotion, the governor added, “How much longer before it’s me?”

Charles studied his fingernails and sighed. “You can see why I assigned these two men to protect my governor.”

Julius frowned and straightened his doublet. “And what are my orders?”

The three men exchanged glances before Perring continued. “These have been rumors of a ghost ship in the waters surrounding Persary. It disappeared into the mists that shroud the southern end of the island just before each of the incidents. Gregory fears that Persary has been targeted by pirates.”great paragraph, wonderful setup and mystery!

Julius nodded while he catalogued what he knew of the rocky island. While Veils was a prosperous port, it really served as nothing more than a stop on the major trade routes. Persary grew some fruit and exported some precious woods…that was about it. No precious gems, elegant silks or unusual porcelain came from its shores. What a pirate ship would benefit by the downfall of Persary was indeed a mystery. Perhaps a rival nation was looking to promote their own southern island harbor in the shipping lanes. He dismissed the ghost ship out of habit. Nonsense.

“I require you to find and take the ghost ship.” Charles appeared solemn and intent.

Julius wanted to laugh. “I see.”

“I’m convinced the man captaining that vessel is at the heart of these nefarious deeds.” Gregory’s lips quivered in fear, his eyes bright with tears.

Unimpressed, but unwilling to fail his king, Julius stood. “I will do everything within my power to bring those at fault to justice, your majesty.”

“This is of the highest priority, Captain,” the Duke said. “I have a longboat waiting to ferry you to The King’s Sword.”

“Of course, your grace. I’ll leave immediately.” Clicking his heels together, Julius gave the king and governor a final bow of farewell. While navigating his way through the barren halls of the castle, he pondered upon his orders a bit more.

What else might the governor be trying to hide? What had Gregory done to deserve somebody’s silent but deadly ire? Ships were not captained by ghosts. Tormented souls…yes. Who had Gregory tormented in his sordid life? great cliffhanger!!!!


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Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1 · 08-13-07 8:53am
by A Non-Existent User
Re: Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1 · 08-13-07 12:05pm
by A Non-Existent User
Re: Re: Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1 · 08-13-07 12:30pm
by A Non-Existent User
Re: Re: Re: Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1 · 08-13-07 4:10pm
by A Non-Existent User
Re: Re: Re: Re: Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1 · 08-13-07 4:53pm
by A Non-Existent User
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Review: Fire and Flesh Chapter 1 · 08-13-07 6:23pm
by A Non-Existent User

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