Erotica Harem

>> Too much description? Hmm. After reread, yes I see your point. Thank you, though editors are confusing. they want more. <<

Pat - I mean how you DO the description. You lump too many modifiers into groups so that they stand out obtrusively. Here is an extreme example:

She stood on the rickety top step at the edge of of the dingy white porch, looking across the twenty-acre field of golden, nearly ripe wheat, her waist-length black hair whipping in the strong breeze.

Instead:

She crossed the porch, now faded from the pearly white it had been years ago. The top step was half rotted, so she tested it before putting her weight on it. Their field of wheat, golden and nearly ripe, stretched as far as her eye could see. A gust kicked up, blowing her hair. She snatched at it angrily, then smiled when she remembered Dan. How he loved its shiny blackness, a tress that fell nearly to her waist.

See the difference? Spread out those modifiers so they don't all bunch up together and make a spectacle of themselves. :)

TimM