Erotica Harem

Title of novel: Demon in the Basement
Chapter number: 5 (I love Ice Cream!)
Round :  1

Setting: Italian restaurant and no ice cream as promised!

Character Development:
Emme: I just adore her. She's kind, foolish, horny, and now magical. What more could you ask for?

Lou: So he's magical too. And apparently he and Emme have a history.


Plot:
The plot gets more intriguing by the moment. But even if it didn't, I'd read just for the humor.

Grammatical: Good.

General:
The mixed POVs in this paragraph did throw me for a minute, and I had to read it again to be sure who the "Mm" belonged to, Lou or Emme.

“Mm.” He studied the pictures in his menu, his eyes drifting from side to side. Emme took a moment to realize how little had changed in the restaurant after ten years. It had been that long since she was last there. She felt Lou’s warm breath against her ear, bringing her back to the moment. “You’re so beautiful. You know that?” he murmured, his thin lips brushing her cheek in a casual kiss as he pulled away. “I could stare at you forever.”

Personal Opinion: Loving it Traci. Keep them coming.