\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/1470966
Important!
*Trash* This item is in your Recycling Bin

Purging this item will permanently remove it from Writing.Com.

Change your mind?  Undelete this item.
Item Icon
by TimM Author IconMail Icon
Rated: XGC · Message Forum · Adult · #619464

We like it hot and sexy!

<< Previous  •  Message List  •  Next >>
Reply  •  Post New
Mar 14, 2007 at 7:22pm
#1470966
Review: Blood Ties, Ch 5, by DusktilDawn
I made it! Huzzah.

Plot: Daniella has to go help Connor. She locks up Aiden and zips away to find her old friend has been made into a vampire. He’s shackled as Aiden was and in a blood frenzy. She gives him some moo, teaches him to hunt, gets way tired and returns to find Aiden gone.

Character Growth: Um. *brain crackles & pops* Well let’s see. Daniella is upset. Aiden is mysteriously gone and the old guy is a vamp changed surely by the evil ones. Did they use him to find out where Aiden is? Does he share a connection with his maker?

Setting and Descriptions: are done beautifully. No changes needed.

See my edits below. I have to take a shower. *sniffs armpits* Ew. Yeah. So sorry I can’t elaborate. I’ll just say I love it. Great read as always.

*Heart*Traci



Chapter Five: Albatross


Aiden's voice brought her back to the present. “Daniella, what’s wrong?”

With a shake of her head, she cleared the magic from her mind, and looked toward the bed. He still appeared weak, but his hunger seemed somewhat pacified. She moved her gaze to Remina. Posed as before, her own hands now ran over her breasts, lost in the throes of desire that Daniella had ignited in her.
I think new paragraph here:She wanted Aiden to feed again; he needed to do so in order to keep the gnawing hunger at bay until replenishing his blood supply. What he really needs is a man his size, and not a petite woman.Told ya! She knew the blood digesting in his system would not be enough to sustain him for long, but Connor’s desperate cry lingered in her veins like ice water. She tried to find the source of the distress call, but she wasn’t quick enough. It disappeared as quickly as it roared in her ears. Dear, you have quick and quickly too close together in this paragraph.

Hmm. When did she turn? She shifted around to face Aiden. “It’s Connor. Something’s wrong.”

The unusual shrill quality contained in her voice caused his eyes to narrow. He gritted his teeth and answered, “Then go to him. Send Remina home, and get out there and find him. I’ll be okay.” He tried to offer her a smile, but failed. The other woman was oblivious to them, lost in pleasuring herself. He moved to the edge of the bed, drawing Daniella forward.

With an absent wave of her hand, Remina stopped, unmoving and expressionless. “I have to get her home, but you…” She hesitated, cutting her teeth on her lower lip to draw blood. Brushing her fingers over her mouth, she dabbed a drop of the crimson liquid onto waitress’ neck rep:wound, and Aiden's raw puncture rep:wounds vanished without scarring.

Daniella moved with all the speed she could mustercomma and in seconds, she stood dressed in dark gray sweatpants, a matching hoodie and black sneakers. “Help me get her dressed,” she murmured to him.

He stumbled to the bathroom, returning seconds later with Remina’s clothes. As they helped her dress, the woman became more coherent. “Is time for me to go?” she asked, her thinly plucked brows dipping together, confused by the steadfast attention.

“You must go home and rest. Remember, you’re not feeling well. You called a cab to pick you up at the restaurant. You will remember nothing of us, or what just occurred here.” Within these words, Daniella wove her usual spell of forgetfulness.

“Yes,” the woman whispered like a mechanical robot.

After the cab arrived, and the waitress was safely on her way home, Daniella returned to the upstairs bedroom to find Aiden pacing the floor, his pale face pinched with worry. Pursing her lips, she walked to the closet and removed two silver shackles.

His eyes widened. “What the fuck are those for?” he asked in a low, even tone.

“You haven’t fed enough. Your blood…you must replenish every drop of your blood during the blood cycle, Aiden. We have three days in order to ensure this is done, or the thirst will return turn into…into a blood frenzy. I have to…need to…I…” Torn by doing such a thing, she found trying to explain even more difficult.

“You’re going to chain me to the bed to make sure I don’t leave and have a London smorgasbord.” Running a hand through his hair, he sighed in resignation. “I suppose going with you is out of the question?”

“I…I’ll be traveling too fast, and in your weakened state…I can’t do that to you. Please Aiden--” She felt the sting of tears forming in her eyes. Although frantic over Connor's safety, she felt just as frightened for him as well.

“Do what you have to, but first, let me put on some pants, okay?”

Even now, he still tried to joke. The strange, metal manacles slipped easily over the headboard posters of her bed, snapping shut around both his wrists with a resounding finality that made them both cringe. She placed a cell phone on the night table within easy reach of his hand. “Are you comfortable?” she asked, ensuring the locks were secure.

“Well, personally, I’d prefer it if you stayed. I could get used to this.” Ohhh me too.

That humorous twinkle she loved so much brightened his eyes. She noticed the red outline of his pupils had faded to pink, but she knew it would be only a matter of hours before the hunger came back…with a vengeance. “I can assure you that we’ll finish where we left off.” She turned to leave.

“So, where’s Connor?”

With effort, she swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Somewhere outside Carlisle. It’s a couple hours drive, but--”

“You’ll be there in minutes.” He grinned. “Go and save him from whatever, but you better come back soon. Promise me.” He leveled his gaze at her.

Oh Dawn. I’m worried now. How evil of you.

Daniella threw herself over him, showering his face with kisses. “I will. I promise,” she whispered, and then disappeared.
***


Her mode of travel could not be called flying, but rather, propelling one’s body straight up into the air at great rep:speeds, and then launching forward, utilizing inhuman rep:speed. She could not sustain this much power for long, but through the centuries, she’d learn to master the air currents, riding the winds in order to reserve most of her strength.

She needed no directions to Solway Firth, and the old fisherman’s cottage just on the outskirts of Carlisle. Long forgotten beneath a coppice of toweringcomma? silver birch, the cabin looked anything but livable. When the Talbots began working for her, they bestowed such places as sanctuaries; a safehouse to retreat to if she ever found herself in trouble. Connor had personally given her this particular cottage.

Icy winds lashed through her hair like whips, and the numbing cold went unnoticed. She was a vampire of The First, impervious to such things. Her mind concentrated on only Connor, but every so often, her worry over Aiden forced its way through. Think upon one problem at a time!

Soon, diamond glints of water cut across the horizon, and she pushed herself toward it. She fell to the ground, landing on the softly packed dirt, her runners creating a dull thud. The front door of the decrepit looking cottage hung from rusted hinges. The thatched roof sagged in the center, destroyed by decay years before. Bleached moss and blackened lichen mottled the shabby wood frame, as if nature was all that was holding the place together. The illusion outside did not compare to the reality of it, however.

Daniella focused her gaze through the open door. Shimmering waves of intense heat shimmied for a few seconds, and then vanished. A quaint fisherman’s cottage now stood before her. She stepped through the front door and the illusion twisted again, becoming something more solid.

The structure wasn’t fancy and one word could describe it--rustic. Threadbare wool carpets covered every inch of the wide planked floor. A crescent shaped hearth stood against the entire left wall, but no flames burned within it. She took in the living room and kitchen. An old-fashioned coffeepot sat on the antique wood-burning store, though she detected no food or human scents. Sporadically placed candles caused frolicking shadows that danced across the bare wood paneling. Out of all the sanctuaries ever gifted to her, Daniella loved this place the most.

A rustling movement drew her attention to a shadowed corner and a small, ancient desk.

Connor looked up, and the blood chilled in her veins.

“Daniella,” he rasped out between lips that were cracked and bleeding.

She stood riveted, unable to believe, or understand what she saw. No wonder I didn’t smell human. The crimson in Connor’s eyes made her step forward, slow and careful. He’s teetering on the edge of a blood frenzy! Her kin needed to feed more often than she did, but they could sustain themselves on smaller volumes of blood, unlike her body’s chemistry, and now Aiden's.

She wrapped her fingers around a flickering candle and moved closer for a better look. There was no denying the voracious hunger glinting in what remained of his once sparkling gray eyes.

“Connor,” she whispered, forcing her lips to work.

“Daniella, help me,” he cried out, his lilting English accent nothing more that a hoarse croak. His impeccable white hair stood in disarraying tufts around his head. By the gods! He looks like an escaped lunatic. It appeared that he’d been sitting in his own filth for days. rep:Dark metal shackles, like the ones currently adorning Aiden’s wrists, shone with rep:dark splotches of blood; Connor’s blood. Stunned, she stared back, prudent and wide-eyed.

He growled, rabid and furious. The wooden chair groaned beneath him. “Feed me, you bitch!” he snarled, baring his fangs.

She ignored the profanity; the hunger was now in control. “What’s happened, Connor? Why didn’t you contact me sooner? What in the hell happened here?” The dire nature of the situation sunk in. He has to feed!

“What in damnation do MIA: you think happened?” Spittle flew from his mouth as his vicious sneer roved over her.

“Calm down,” she said, trying to push past her inner turmoil. “Who did this? Tell me…who--did--this--to--you?” she said between clenched teeth. Chaos turned to fury.

“I don’t…” He stopped, and a crimson tear trickled down his pale cheek. “I didn’t see. They attacked from behind and then…it was too late. Stop the pain, Daniella. Stop it!” He threw back his head and howled in agony.

Rage quivered inside her, and her nails lengthened and retracted as she clenched her hands into balled up fists of frustration. This can't be happening now. It just can't be, she lamented. “You’ve waited too long to feed.” Her gaze centralized on the shackles. “How…”

“I could…I could feel something coming, so I came here. I didn’t…I couldn't hurt anyone.” Another tear chased after the first one.

“Oh, for Christ sake, Connor! Why didn’t you contact me?” she cried out, hating the twisting in her guts. First Aiden, and now Connor? The two most important people in my life.

“Justomit space here …please, please do something!” He made a lunge at her, moving the chair with him.

Her mind raced. “You cannot feed from a human, Connor. You’re past that point. You’ll lose yourself in the blood. I will get you food, but it will be an animal. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

A snapping of his teeth followed a low, feral growl. She saw something flash in his eyes, something cruel and inhuman. He’s a damn vampire for Christ sake. Keeping her distance, she maneuvered herself around the chair. He stretched his neck backward in an attempt to bite her, but she moved easily out of his reach. “We’ll be doing this my way, Connor, got it?” She snarled, pushing the chair into the center of the living room. “And if you go for me again, I’ll knock you out cold.” The revulsion in her voice was difficult to conceal. He wants my blood...to feed. Why is he different from Aiden? she wondered. Because everything about this smells wrong. I didn’t turn Connor. Then who…and why?

She propelled herself out the door and upward again, racing south in the direction of some cattle she saw grazing several miles away. By the time she returned, Connor's imminent starvation was more evident. He managed to scrape his chair across the rugs to the front door, trying to escape. She dropped to the ground with the cow I say make it a calf in tow. Without touching the animal, she willed its weak mind to move closer to the elder man. Daniella turned away just as Connor's gleaming fangs pushed past fur and skin. She didn’t want to see him reduced to such torment, but she had to look back. Small jets of blood burst up beside his mouth, but he appeared unaware of anything except the crimson elixir he suckled. After several minutes, she used her gifts to draw the animal away. It stumbled, dazed and bleeding, but still alive.

Connor threw back his head, gulping and gasping, his face a bloody mess. The vivid outline around his pupils was now gone, and he'd calmed. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Now please, get me out of this these shackles.”

The timbre in his voice revealed that he wascomma more or lesscomma back to normal. She approached, wary and slow. “rep:Look at me, Connor,” she demanded. He slumped forward, rep:looking every bit his eighty years. The violence that emanated from him earlier was also gone.

“I have to teach you to feed…tonight.” She put up her hand and the manacles snapped open, bringing Aiden to the forefront of her mind. “And we have to do it now,” she added, pursing her lips to keep from growling out her frustration. I don’t have time for this. I need to get back to Aiden. Connor, nodded, mute and subdued.

She took his Cadillac SUV. Connor was still too weak to travel the distance by air. She followed an unmarked path back to town, where they spent several hours hunting the sleepy streets of Carlisle. Preying on drunks stumbling home from the pub, she instructed Connor how to use his will to bend people’s mind, to create illusions that weren’t there, and most important, to feed without killing. To her surprise, and relief, he turned into an apt pupil. As she watched him feed on the final victim, she made up her mind. I’ll bring Aiden out here for safety. He and Connor can meet.

They were driving back to the cabin when Connor finally spoke. “Where’s this Aiden fellow?”

“He’s at my flat, waiting for my return. I need to get back and...and sleep.” In all reality, she knew she wasn’t going to make it in time. Connor had until sunrise before seeking shelter from the killing rays of the sun, but for her, she sensed the intoxicating tendrils of vampiric sleep seeking to claim her. With effortcomma she pushed it aside. “How long ago did this happen?” She moved the rear-view mirror so she could see him better.

“Two nights ago,” he mumbled, his gaze fixed out the window. The foulness of his mood slithered between them.

“And you never contacted me? Why Connor? Help me understand this. You and your family have been my keepers for over a century. Yet, you don’t call the one person in the entire world that can help you?” This fact astonished, and hurt her.

“What do you want me to bloody well say, Daniella? Oh, I had a vampire gnawing on my neck, and by the way, drop what you’re doing and come save me? Were you not in the middle of finding Manvera’s killer?”

She removed her eyes off the gloomy, gravel road, surprised by the vehemence contained in his tone. He’d swept back his hair so that he looked more presentable, but there was something still untamed about him. “I’m sorry, Connor. A lot…much has happened.” This is not the time, nor the place to go into it either. He has enough to deal with.

“So, did you find the treacherous cur that killed my granddaughter?”

The coldness she felt emanating from him stunned her. “Yes, I did and rest assured, he will not kill again.” She snapped her mouth closed, fighting the fatigue. He sounds so angry, so unlike him. “Remember well, Connor. Do not kill. Vampires do not need to take lives in order to live among the humans. This is a different way of life, but...I shall do everything in my power to help you through this.”

“You’ve taught me well,” he whispered. He fell silent and said nothing more until they returned to the cottage.

She helped him inside and led him to the bedroom. The lumpy bed called to her, but Connor needed it more. She noticed a thick quilt obscured the one window. “You’ve been here, what, two days?” she asked, tilting her head toward the blanket.

“Yes,” he murmured as he crawled wearily beneath the covers.

He looks so small and fragile, she realized. When she went over to check on him, he appeared deep in sleep. He's been fighting this for two whole days, alone. He’s exhausted.

She retrieved a heavy quit from the antique chest at the foot of the bed, and made her way out the living room couch. She pulled out her extra cell phone from the pocket of her track pants, sighing with relief when she heard Aiden’s voice, though it was shorthyphenlived.

“You gotta come home, Daniella. It’s starting again.” The terrified timbre of his voice shot through her. “I…I can’t, Aiden. I’ve spent too much time with Connor. Someone…a vampire turned him. He’s been out here alone, fighting a blood frenzy himself. It took too much time and...and I have to sleep…” She bit her lip to keep from crying. A long silence followed. “Aiden? Talk to me.” Panic filled her.

“It’s okay, Daniella. I’ll survive. I don’t have a choice. I can’t die.” He tried chuckling, but failed. “These restraints will hold me until you get back, right?”

She mouthed a breathless “yes.” He talked through his teeth, trying to hide the symptoms from her.

“Then return when you can.”

She sensed him moving the phone away from his face. The pain would be unbearable by morning, but she would rise and go to him as fast as she could. You will not suffer this alone, Aiden, she vowed. “I’ll be there before you know it. Hang on, Aiden. Please, just try and hang on.”

“I will…for you.”

The line went dead. She stretched out on the musty smelling couch, and closed her eyes. Her worry over Aiden felt like a tightening noose around her neck as she plummeted into the dark abyss.
***


When she woke, she ensured Connor slept comfortably, caught deep within the clutches of daytime vampiric sleep.

Once back inside her flat in London, she flew up the stairs and halted on the landing. Through the open door of the bedroom, she saw the bed was empty, the shackles strewn across the floor, unlocked. She searched the house, frantic, but Aiden had vanished.

Great read-on prompt as always!


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1211795 by Not Available.
MESSAGE THREAD
*Star*
Review: Blood Ties, Ch 5, by DusktilDawn · 03-14-07 7:22pm
by Lady Rook Author IconMail Icon

The following applies to this forum item as a whole, not this post. Feedback sent here will go to the forum's owner, TimM.
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/1470966