Erotica Harem

Okay, I don't know the first thing about erotica, but I'm anxious to learn. Please keep it in mind as I ease into these reviews.

Title of novel: Diary of Daniella Rolfe
Chapter number: 1
Round :  1

Setting: Nothing specific, although we are taken through various eras and times of Daniella's immortal life, commencing in 1304. Descriptions of the events and beliefs of the eras were conveyed well.

Character Development:
Daniella Rolfe: A vampire of the First (order) and the last of her kind. How interesting. She was born a blood drinker and fed upon her own mother's blood. I wondered how the mother ultimately died and would love to see that information included. Now here is where I was a bit confused. If Daniella was kept alive by her mother's blood, how is it that her mother, too, did not become a vampire? I know I'm probably missing something obvious.

Historical Referencing: Didn't notice anything out of place.

Plot:
Daniella has taken a personal oath never to mingle her bloodline with that of a human and thus perpetuate her species. But now she has fallen for a certain police officer, Adrian, and she longs to be with him forever. So I believe her problem is controlling her own lust. I'm still confused if biting him would make him immortal, but I suppose "forever" would be quite dreary if they didn't sleep together. She doesn't have a heartbeat nor does she breathe, so I guess birth control would be ineffectual. Of course her hormones seem to be working properly. Umm...perhaps Adrian has a unique scent that appeals to her in addition to the seductiveness of his eyes and broad shoulders. I had to giggle picturing Daniella applying "tan in a bottle."

Grammatical: Good

General: Just a few things here, my humble opinion of course, and they are really quite trivial.
No, it is not the reason I sit here and write, as you will soon find out.
This sentence might be a bit stronger of the word "it" was replaced with "vanity", especially since "not for fame" is mentioned several sentences earlier and movies and fairy tales are discussed.

Many women have attempted to copy what I look like and I cannot help but wonder why. I do not care for such trivial things.
"...what I look like" could be replaced by "my (seductive? exotic?) beauty" or "my allure" if you wanted to be a more specific. Also, "copy" could be replaced by "imitate" (don't know why, but I just like the sound of that better).

Personal Opinion:
This was a very intriguing start. I loved the confessional tone--dark and solemn. And I definitely want to know how Daniella will solve her dilemma!! Looking forward to reading more, Dawn.