Erotica Harem

Title:Diary of Daniella Rolfe

Chapter: 4

Author:DusktilDawn

Plot: Aiden lusting after Daniella, and him finding her victim with his name on it.

Setting: Aiden's apartment, police station, and warehouse. Described in enough detail to know where the characters are at and be able to feel what they are feeling.

Characterization:

Aiden-
Get to see more about his feelings for Daniella. Get to see that his feelings of lust for her and his confusion on why its so strong, even though he enjoys it. In this chapter we see alot into his character and how the images really play a role for him.

Barlow-
Loud as ever and still shows the same character traits as in the previous chapter. Not a real in depth character. However,his traits are strong and show through each and every time he is mentioned.

Patti-
Through in her work as a Coroner, seems not too laid back, but does seem to the point. Her character in the brief moment she was in this particular chapter was well described and you knew what she was doing through the detailed actions of her character.

Grammar:
A few things that were forgotten, quotes in front of
Aiden?”

Though good for effect for the reader to see, wonder if a coma might work better here:
His stare remained riveted on the young man’s stomach--at his sprawling name staring accusingly back at him.

Just My Personal Opinion:
Another chapter where I fell in love with the book. A few minor things to work on, but the chapter filled me with wanting to read more to the next chapter. Brilliant in going in depth with one of the main characters. In this chapter you learn even more about Aiden and its great. Really get to see who he is.