Especially for LDS and Friends!

This may sound odd, but do you know why he has decided that he is gay? What causes him to say this? Covey says, seek first to understand, then to be understood. What exactly has he been "fighting for 10 years"? Where is the root? Even if he has some romantic inclination toward males (although I'm not sure what he would find so alluring in them), you say he has a testimony. Does he fully believe in the commandments? Does he honestly believe the General Authorities?

It is not a sin to be tempted, but I believe that Father intends us to be the master of these physical bodies. Just as heterosexual people are tempted to commit fornication, but don't sin unless they act on it, it is the same with those who believe they are homosexual. God expects us to learn to control our thoughts and that all passions and desires must be kept within the bounds that the Lord has set.

Things that you can do? 1st of all, my advice is to be his friend. Good friends who are sincere in caring are priceless. Strangly tempted, sinner or perfect, he is still a son of God who deserves a friend and needs to know someone cares. On the other hand, this is rather a deep issue. It's very personal and it comes down to his desire to follow God. If he sincerely wants to live righteously, then he needs to go to those set apart and entrusted with the knowledge and tools (most especially God's mantle of leadership and the Priesthood.) who have been entrusted with the stewardship of helping him. Yes, I speak of his Bishop and perhaps even the Stake level. I have reason to believe that will have the resources to help him in more specifics. Why don't they announce such instuctions to others if they have them? I believe that it is because it a delicate issue indeed and needs to be closely guided by the directions of the Holy Spirit. Also, as I said, he needs to have the desire before change is possible. Until then, I would advise praying for him (think of Alma the younger), you could put his name in the Temple, you could pray for personal revelation on how Father would have you be his friend, and focus on that which is good and pure. The last is important. I have learned that what you focus on expands. Find common ground, in fun and non-intrusive ways help him to stay in touch with the Spirit. Focus on the love that you say he has for the Church and growing his testimony. Help grow his desire for the Temple and the trust in God's will. Help him to feel like that son of God that he is. I honestly believe that we are not bound to any mold or pattern set upon us. Again, why does he believe that he is gay? If I have a particular weakness to be tempted by alcohol, does that mean that I am an alcoholic? We all have our own weaknesses, but if we focus on them, we only continue to alienate ourselves from that which is good inside of us and in others.

I also seem to remember that LDS social services has counselors that can help him through this. If he is really not willing to talk to the bishop, you might check and see if there is a LDS Social and Family services in your area. They have professionals who have degrees in phycology and science that will help him. But it does need to be an LDS service so they will keep it in terms of the gospel and have the influence of the spirit.

What I have mentioned may seem trivial and small, but as is said: By the small and simple things cometh great things.

-Renegade