Red Opium.

Megan, thand you for understanding. Feeling like I'm not alone in this stupid battle makes me feel a little better.

I really don't know why doing well makes me feel badly. Yesterday, I finally finished a very important story that plays an integral part in whether I can continue to successfully write. It was my grad school application story. I plan to send it out in two weeks. After I finished writing it, I felt so good. Good that it was done, good that I had finally done something that I was proud of. Then as soon as I re-posted the doubts started rising. I've not even gotten a review on the newest version yet, and still I'm waiting for the negativity to come in. I want helpful reviews, ones that will help me perfect the story before it has to go represent me in two weeks, but the last time a few people basically told me to give up on it. Granted it is so much better this time, I just suddenly feel like I've failed again.

It's either the total lack of confidence, the low self-esteem, or the self loathing that is causing it. I know that much. I just don't know what to do about it.

Thanks again!
Nikaya