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| I decided today I would just do some reviews for my word count goal. It earns me gift points and I get to read a lot of new and interesting things. I need to get my eyes checked they are really blurry at times. I am worried something is wrong with them. I do not remember whether I need one thousand one hundred fifty words or one thousand one hundred and seventy five words. So I will err on the side of more rather than less. I wrote a Review of "Bond Stronger Then Love" This is a very sweet tale. I love that she gets to marry her best friend in a time where she was not given a lot of choice. There are a couple of places where you are missing words like "the" and " "played" when you were talking about cards. I love your writing I have yet to come away from one of your stories sad. Here is a Review of "New Years and Responsibilities" I liked the story, but feel like the boyfriend should have had a name if he cared for him that much. You gave Christian a name the boyfriend should have had one. other than that it is a really nice little story. It is self contained and well worded though the boyfriend name would have improved it a lot. i like the way you worked in the prompt. I would just suggest that the note on the prompt would be a little neater in a drop note or pop note but it was visually separated from the story so it was not confusing like it can sometimes be when the note is placed like this. Here is a Review of "To write." This is an interesting story, almost a poem as much as it is prose. The language is flowery and invokes feelings well. The wording wandered around in circles around the main ideas and came out somehow not quite tangling up. I like it and appreciate it even though it is not a conventional piece of writing. The creativity is bold and i really do not know if it would have benefitted any from revision. Part of its draw for me is in the raw spontaneity of it. Here is a Review of "A Thursday Walk" What a lovely poem. It is so innocent and touching. I felt the tentative nature of the affection growing between the author and the subject. I have known that kind of uncertainty. I can feel the potential of being totally wrecked by the subject not reciprocating. It is sweet, sad, and hopeful. It ends on just the right note. It sounds as if the author is ready to put things to the test. Good luck, and great poem. Here is a Review of "The Thoughts" This is a piece about being in a difficult place within oneself. It flows through the pain and emotions, questions perceptions, their own and other peoples. I like what you did with the bolded words spelling out the point of the piece in one clear sentence. It is well written and it does not feel like you forced the bolded words into place. Good job. Here is a Review of "Princess Diana, Princess-Duchess Kate" This is an informative piece. It told me a lot about the princesses and about the author. I remember watching Princess Diana and Prince Charles' wedding even though I was in America. I was impressed with the fairy tale aspect of it. The processions and the formality. I dreamed for a while of a fantasy wedding like that but in the end decided it really was not for me. I have a Princess Diana Beanie Baby teddy. I bought her specifically because she was Princess Diana. Here is a Review of "Just a Globe" I think everyone has that one toy they really wanted but never got as a kid. Mine was Barbie. My dad just was not having it. I think she was just too sexualized for his prudish tastes. Her skirts were too short. Her boobs were too big. He threw a fit and took away the one Barbie my friend gave me for a birthday before I could even open the box. Now as an adult I have a bunch of Barbies. I like that they have the various shapes and sizes now and have become much more inclusive in their doll line. Here is a Review of "Friday 13" Nice limerick. I like the word choices. It does not feel forced to rhyme or anything. It is a good limerick. Though, I usually think of limericks as having a humorous edge to them. I did not feel that in this poem. I would not call that a strike against it. It is just a thought. I felt it followed the form otherwise. I would call it a limerick. Here is a What a sweet and upbeat little poem. I like the rhyme choices. It is short and to the point but not too short for my tastes. I could see it going on longer but fear it might loose some of the natural feeling of the poem attempting to keep the rhymes up. It made me eager to see spring. Well more eager… Here is a Review of "What It Really Is" This is all build up to a punchline that is not really revealed. It reveals the history of the character and her mother. The development of the relationship. Then it talks of a letter recieved changing her life but does not reveal what the letter said. It is a let down for me I have to say the first ninety percent is wonderful and draws me in. The ending drops me on my butt wondering what just happened. Here is a Review of "Resources " This is full of helpful links that mean I am going to bookmark this for future use. I appreciate the thought and organization put into this and the effort the author went to in setting this up. It is really well thought out and well presented. Five star resource here. Here is a Review of "The Dark Society" This is a great chapter. It carries a lot of information for the story. There is back story without info dumpage. I like the characters. I think I might take a look at the rest of this if I can find it. The chapter is not self contained. It left questions and me wanting more than we were given. I wanted it to continue but as a chapter those are not necessarily important because there are more chapters to come. Here is a Review of "Life, Camera - Action!" I love this slice of life. It offers the point of view of a loving father taking care of his baby presumably alone. He scores with a perfect birthday gift and goes on to discuss his relationship with his daughter. It is cute. It is sweet and I love this story. The flow and the tone is perfect. The wording is top notch. it shows and tells smoothly. Good story! |
| Second entry for today. I filled yesterday's make up entry with reviews. I kept clicking on the read and review tab and made about thirteen thousand gift points doing it. I am thinking about doing a few more for this entry but I need to vent a little first. Papa went home from the hospital today. They officially started pallative care for him today. He will not have as many doctor's appointments. They are discontinuing some of his meds. And it no longer matters what he eats, even if his blood sugar is ridiculously high. I do not know if they are still going to put in a new battery for his pacemaker. If he were going into hospice I know they would not, but I am not sure about palative care rules. My wife says the pacemaker is still a go, so he has not totally given up. I am not sure how i feel about the situation. I am pretty sure he is not far from starting hospice. His parkinsons is bad. I believe it is in the final stage. He really is not himself anymore. It is hard to watch someone die like this. I did it with my mom and her mental deterioration was the worst part. When she got to the point where she did not know where she was, it really hurt. Fortunately she did not quite get to the point where she did not recognize me. That would have ripped me up even more than watching her go would have. I was not there when she died. The day before they called me and told me it was close. I rushed to the nursing home and spent time with her. She had fallen asleep and just was not waking up. I did not really get a goodbye from her. I said mine though. They brought me sandwiches and offered to have a pastor or a councilor sit with me. They were the best I can imagine a nursing home could be. I went home and recieved a call late that night that she was gone and asked me when I could come and get her things they needed the bed for other patients. It was a bit abrupt for me and I felt rushed but I cleaned out her room the next day. I felt like they were brushing me off and didn't care about me anymore because they were not getting paid. But since then i have come to realize just how precious beds at that nursing home are. And how much worse a nursing home could be. Now I can not begrudge the person who took her bed. They could have ended up somewhere bad if she had not passed when she did. I feel so lucky that she got in there. Papa has not been so lucky the two nursing homes he has been in have been crappy. The last one he was in lost his wallet. That was drama. They treated him like he had the plague because a paramedic had seen a bedbug spray and assumed he had bedbugs. They finally got his clothes to him the day before he left. Seriously... That is pathetic he was there nearly two weeks. I am still really mad about that. I hope he can stay in his home but I am seriously doubting it. Screw Grammarly I am not correcting the mistakes this is about volume not correct grammar and spelling. Screw commas. Screw going back to capitalize I or decapitalize Idea. That was not for effect, I litterally have a hard time not capitalizing idea. There i managed it. oops did not manage to cap I again. Those two things really are my main hang ups right now. I remember when I could not seem to spell " finally" for the life of me. There are other words to i have had blocks on spelling right. I can not remember them at the moment though, wait success used to be a big problem, sometimes it still is. Six hundred and eighty words down, should I move on and work on reviews? No, I think i will whine about how my leg is restless and hurting. I think my circulation is going bad. I hope it is not anything too serious but I will have to talk to my primary care provider about it. She is an aprn who is pretty good about sending me to specialists when she is out of her depth. I have seen a gastroneurologist, a orthopedic consult, a pulmonologist, i know she would have sent me to a gynocologist sooner if i had been seeing her when i was having my problems. I need to get back in with the gastroneurologist i shouldn't be taking the pill i am on for much longer it can cause problems. I should get in to see my primary care provider soon for my diabetes maintanence soon too. Eight hundred and thirty words down, should I move on and work on reviews? probably, i do not know what to write. I do not really want to write more. I have written a crap ton of words today already and I have just under three hundred more words to write. That would probably be about three or four more reviews. Can I bs that much? Or should I write the dumb reviews. They do pay so it would not be a loss if i did more. I wrote a Review of "Unwanted dispositional detachment" These are dark poems. The one about the dead cat really made me flinch. The word art is really beautiful in a creepy way. Definitely considering the thought that i should have turned away at the trigger warning. Especially after the cat one. I am an animal lover and the callousness just really hurts me. I like that the author tried to give that cat's life and death some meaning though. one hundred and twenty five words still needed. I can do this. I will do this. I do not want to do this. I am tired of writing I have been at it for months or years today alone. Why did I sign up for this challenge? I do not know why I signed up. Yes I do, accountablity. It would really help me get my unfinshed projects finished if i kept this up. Two thousand words a day is sixty thousand words a month my books run around one hundred thousand words which means i could start to finish one draft in about two months. That is what i am shooting for. I have a couple at the fifty thousand word mark right now so I could finish them both in about two months. Then all I need to do is fix my kindle direct publishing account and publish. Okay so there would be revisions and editing but let me pretend it would be that simple. please just this once? |
| Day late and ten bucks short. Eleven hundred words due yesterday and I missed the whole day. I just spaced it out. Now I have a four point penalty. And two thousand two hundred twenty five words due today. Yippee... Not. I think I am going to write some reviews for my word count today. I wrote a Review of An American Ideal: Trust in Who We Are Surprising how timely this poem written years ago still happens to be. Or happens to be again I should say. The word choices were a little jarring for me, I do not know if you made them because of a form or what but simpler word choices would have made this smoother and a touch more accessible. Though It is well written and clearly conveys its message so good work. And a Review of "There's a little witch in all of us!" Oh my, that is a dark piece. I could not understand the context until you mentioned hansel and gretel then it all made sense. Kind of gross though. I suppose it is only fair since the witch was going to eat them. But still... Long pig sausage, ewe gross. I guess it is okay they threw her in the oven as long as they do not waste the roast meat… and a Review of "Hunger" I love this story. the way you told it from the point of view of the zombie was totally cool. I like the disconnected connection the character is feeling. I love how long it takes for them to realize what they have become. I love that they managed to get rid of the threat that they were. I wonder how long it will be before they cease to exist. Or will they? I mean they are rotting. I love the way it is compact and self contained. It flows really well. Super good job. …Review of "Chalk Dust & Broomsticks, Chapter 23" Wow, this is fairly self contained for a chapter of a larger story. It includes backstory that allowed it to stand alone without the prior happenings of the story. It is not info dumped in either. It is delivered in a smooth balanced way. I love this and I really want to read more about this character. …Review of "March 30, 1986" This was an interesting essay to shlog through. There was a lot of legalese to get through but it was kind of cool to see the way the legal system works. I would not read this for entertainment but it is very educational and well written so I would have to say this is a very good essay. ...Review of "Memory" This poem elaborates on the theme If you do not pay attention to history it will repeat itself. I heartily agree with this sentiment. The language is flowery and perhaps over intellectualized in places but overall the effect is excellent. I like this poem a lot. I think it is well written and creative given an almost cliche theme. It approaches things from a new angle for me and is really good. …Review of "Pirate at Bay" Cute story. I thought it would be about "THE" Captain Hook from the title and cover picture. But it was about "A" Captain Hook. I was only a little disappointed by that. Really, the story is good and flows well. I like that he did not take the coward's way out with his pistol. That would have been a bad ending. As it was, it was a little bit of an anti-climactic ending. It seemed a little childish to climb on the roof to pout. …Review of "Poseidon’s Musique" This is an educational piece. I learned about a new form. What i did not like was the color of the font the information of the form was given in. It was difficult to read. I realize the intent was to separate the poem from the information but I find that is better done placing the information into a drop note or a pop note. Or using a different darker color. The green made it difficult to enjoy the information. …Review of "A Little Night Music" Oh, awesome story. It flows. It manages to introduce the issue of the story his one main regret in a smooth flowing way. The characters are believable and i was invested in them by about a third of the way through the story. by the end I was going like "Yes!" One thing the young person mentions "you're grin" it should be your grin. that was the only thing that threw me off and that was awesome. …Review of "Heaven" Wow. I can not say I caught all the nuances of this poem. And I am not sure or exactly what it is that you were saying, but I caught a fall into deep depression with a side of guilt and or grief. The wording is powerful and really set the tone. I loved it. I am thinking about checking out your portfolio and reading some more of your writing. I like the way you think. …Review of "I Will Kill Poetry" Cool! I like what this poem says about you and your relationships with life and with poetry. I have found that there are times I have to really be hurting to write poetry, but fortunately, I have also had joyful poems. Considering I have spent most of my life floundering in depression, it seems weird to me how many happy poems I have managed to write. I wish you luck in finding your joyful poetry. …Review of "You're my future" At first this sounded like the beginning of a love poem. But as it progressed it became darker and darker. In the end we discover it is about a cancer diagnosis. It made me want to cry when I got to the last line. I feel really bad for the author. Though the beginning is optimistic tied in with hope. But by the end it pretty much tastes like defeat. …Review of "When I Get to the End" Oh, this poem is so sad. It reminds me of all the furbabies I have loved and lost. Our chihuahua is currently in pallative care. She has a stage 4 heart murmur, and is basically in heart failure. She has three heart pills she has to take. It is expensive but as long as she still seems to want to fight we will keep getting them for her. And when the time comes we will take her to the vet and let her go. I offer my condolences on your loss. |
| One thousand seventy five words due today. What should I do to fill the space? Should I work on another story for the bradbury challenge? I have not submitted to the bradbury contest yet this month. I got a review of my horror romance story for last month's horror writing contest. He liked it. He said it was great for flash fiction but I could have ramped up the horror by bringing in more sensations. Smells, sounds, tastes and the like, Also more of the character's feelings. I might go back and revise it. but it would not count as a separate story for the bradbury. I was thinking of trying some entries for SpitLit a fifty five word story challenge. I have done drabbles and the idea of fitting a story into only fifty five words intrigues me. I have done it in fewer words. It can be very difficult. All in all working on that would not be all that much help here, only fifty five words. That is barely a sneeze compared to what I need to get written. One hundred eighty words so far. I have not figured out what i want to write for today yet. I do not really want to write today. I do not feel like writing. I do not know what to write. I really do not have any real ideas for this. Hey, yea, I did not capitalize idea. Hey rhymes with yea, but idea looks like it should rhyme. Cute sentece. Hey, yea, Idea. Crap i capitalized it and then did not capitalize I. What the heck is wriong with my stupid fingers. I am surely more important than an idea. Almost did it again. Damn. The wife is watching true crime again. It is a rewatch of a show she had been addicted to when it was first on and she just found it available on streaming. Personally I want to watch the OG smurf cartoons all the way through one more time. I need to figure out where and if I can do that. We watched the super mario brothers movie today and are looking forward to super mario galaxy on april first. I am tired, I did not sleep well. My wife fell asleep watching an ed kemper documentary yesterday while i was working on my word count total. I ended up finishing and lying down she woke up and asked for ice cream at around nine last night I had not been to sleep for long. I told her okay I would get her some ice cream after charlie had his insulin. So i did the insulin and came back into the bed room to give sophie her pills and my wife was already asleep. I tried to wake her to find out if she still wanted ice cream. She would not wake up. so I went back to bed. I woke up at one to give gracie her pill and tried to see if my wife still wanted ice cream. SHe didn't wake up. So I went back to bed. I had just gotten to sleep good when she woke me up to get her ice cream. It was one forty five in the morning. She was awake awake. I got her the ice cream and laid back down. I guess she managed to eat it without getting it all over the bed. it was not on the blankets this morning. Usually i would stay awake and make sure she did not make a mess. Why you might ask would I get her ice cream at one forty five in the morning. well it is because she has not been eating well and I am worried about her. With the whole Papa situation going on she has barely been eating. Nothing sounds good to her so when something does I jump on it. We have been having a lot of home made uncrustables. Mostly banana and nutella, although she has been eating peanut butter and peach preserves. I go heavy on the peanutbutter so she is getting protein in her. Also she has been eating cherry tomatoes, and mushrooms with ranch and grapes on the side. I think i got back to sleep by around two thirty. At least that was the last time i saw before the nine o'clock alarm went off. I did charlie's insulin. I gave sophie her pills. I gave gracie her pill. I gave precious and charlie each an allergy pill. I was done by nine fifteen. My wife was still snoring. I sat back and played games on my phone. This show is pretty creepy. An eighteen year old girl was murderd for a small amount of money from an automated teller machine. See what i did there instead of an acronym worth one word I spelled it out for three words. Now I am at eight hundred twenty words. JUst two hundred fifty words of bull to write to make my quota for the day. This whole thing has been pretty helpful with the Papa situation, it has given me a place to vent. I feel like it is pretty up in the air whether or not he will still be here for easter, on the one hand i hope so on the other hand his wife died shortly after easter three years ago and if he makes it to easter he will not make it much further, so it would effectively be a double reminder every year. At least it is not christmas. that would sUUUUck. Christmas is difficult and stressful enough without the holiday bringing up raw grief every year. We have lost three pets and my stepfather all around october thirty first so that puts a damper on halloween for me. Not that halloween has been much of a holiday for me. My dad absolutely prohibited it when I was growing up. It was "The Devil's" holiday. No matter what the celebration means today it was based on pagan and therefore evil heretical magic and witches and demons and yeah, it was just the worst celebration of any of them. He did easter, never mind that that is partially based on pagan festivals. Yeah whatever holidays are just stressfull balls of stressy stress stress. Right at one thousand fifty words right now. I only need twenty five more words. I have BSed through another day of writing. Did I even write anything productive? I seriously doubt it. It is getting close to insulin time for charlie and pill time for sophie, i should probably give precious a pain pill too. So turkey for the shot to charlie and a round of cheese for pill time. Last night Precious spit out and dissected her cheese trying to remove the pills. Same thing with her allergy pill this morning, i had to double up the cheese coating to get it down her. Oops I overshot by around one hundred words. Going now, byee. |
I have three poems to write for the Poetry prompt challenge. The first one is Form: Villanelle A villanelle is a structured 19-line poem consisting of five tercets (three-line stanzas) followed by a quatrain (four-line stanza). It features a strict rhyme scheme of ABA, with two repeating refrains (lines 1 and 3 of the first stanza) alternating as the final lines of subsequent tercets, forming a concluding couplet. A a poem to write B with special rhyme A written bite by bite. A and now tonight B with a twist of lime A a poem to write A is this right B it is poem time A written bite by bite. A this is a fight B is should be a mime A a poem to write A hope of success is slight B now is the time A written bite by bite. A did I do it right B does it even rhyme A a poem to write A written bite by bite. the prompt for week 29 is a picture of a flowering branch. springing forward petals adorn flowery petals sharing scents colorful chaos trees abloom future fruits beauty held springing forward flowers blush flowery petals promising summer soft petals delicate scent hanging high breeze kissed promised life next poem Prompt/Week # 30 Write a poem from the perspective of an abandoned building. I stand I watch I wait people used to live within now they walk quickly past they fear me I held life I held love I held hopes people used to care now all I do is dream they do not even see me Now for a little story time Here's the prompt from the daily flash fiction challenge for today Prompt for 3/9 Write a story that includes the line: "What's your excuse this time?" He just had to ask. I did not want to answer him. "What's your excuse this time?" I shuffled my feet for a moment. There was no right answer. "It just happened?" "Are you asking me or telling me?" "Both?" He sighed and put his hands on his hips. "How many this time?" "They really needed me, they didn't have much time." "How many?" "Five." "Five kittens? We are not keeping one this time. Fostering means taking care of them until someone else adopts them. Not we just keep a couple. We already have four cats." "Legally we could have five," I pointed out. "Do you want to have to explain why you can not foster them?" "No." "How many are we keeping?" "None..." I answered sheepishly. "Fine. Where are they?" "In the bathroom." Now an entry for twisted tales. Thomas’s spurs rattled as he walked towards the porch. He angled his hat to block the glare of the sun. The wind stirred up the dust on the ground. It had been dry, and the soil was parched. It was time to face the consequences of his actions. By the height of the sun it was nearly five PM. He lowered the scarf covering his mouth. There was no point in trying to hide his identity. The sheriff wasn’t going to like this. He ground his boots into the dust and stepped onto the porch. The sheriff opened the screen door with a creak. “Thomas.” Thomas flinched. It was as though he already knew. Had he been watching? Thomas hated it when the sheriff used his given name. He swallowed hard and confessed, “I shot Bucky in the butt, and he whimpered.” The sheriff shook his head. “You know what this means, right?” The sheriff held out his hand. Thomas groaned. He withdrew his guns from their holsters and passed them to the sheriff. "Will I get them back?" "What do you think? Just be glad Bucky survived." "I was not trying to hurt him..." "You shot him. How did you expect that not to hurt him?" "I thought I would miss..." Thomas frowned. "Why shoot if you are going to miss?" Thomas had no answer. He said nothing and pursed his lips. It was time to take his punishment. He hung his head. "I suppose you are going to lock me up now?" He swallowed hard as the sheriff mulled over the charges pending. This could be very bad or it might be okay. "Just do not shoot the dog again!" The sheriff looked him over. “Head in and wash up. It is time for dinner." “Yes, sir, Dad.” Thomas scurried in the house, thankful not to be grounded. Seven hundred fifty words. I think i need one thousand fifty words today. So three hundred more words needed. My wife is asleep next to me. She has one of her true crime shows on the tv. I think it is about Kemper. I am not having any trouble ignoring it. I do not want to watch it. That could be a problem when I get done writing because I do not want to wake her she has had a rough day. Papa is back in the hospital. The urinary tract infection is flaring up again. and he fell out of bed this morning. My mother in law says he was not hurt this time but they are keeping him at least over night. She is getting his apartment deep cleaned tomorrow because according to the emergency room nurse he was living in squalor. How does she get to make that statement. She didn't see the apartment and it may not be in perfect shape but I cleaned it not that long ago. Supposedly it was because of roaches bedbugs and he had dried poo on him. I can't speak to the poo situation, but he does not have bedbugs. The traps under the legs of his bed show no signs. He used to spray the whole apartment to keep them from attacking in the first place. The paramedic must have somehow seen the bedbug spray and assumed. Roaches yes, but not because it is not clean. The landlord will not shell out to take care of the roach problem. So yeah. She's possibly in trouble for neglect. I can speak to that being likely. Anyway it sounds like they want to put him in a home. But she is trying to set up palative care so he can stay in the apartment. That is what he wants. On the one hand yeah his wishes should be respected. on the other hand she is not taking proper care of him. What the f should I do? Call adult protective services? I am well over my word count goal so byee for tonight. |
| One thousand twenty five words due today. It has been pointed out that it will begin to be difficult to just write about my day here. The thing of that is that it entirely underestimates the crap storm that is my life right now. Papa is on palliative care. Today he could not swallow his pills. He ended up on the floor last night trying to get out of his chair. He is having trouble finding the words that he means, so even when his head is screwed on right he does not necessarily make sense. Hundred words down and I have not even started on my day. This morning I got out of bed when the alarm reminding me to give the dogs their meds went off. I got as far as the potty pad where someone had diarrhea last night while we slept. I did not see it and I went down because my foot slipped. I landed in the poo. So I took my shower first thing this morning and dealt with the potty pad second thing. In the shower I checked myself out. My left knee is bruised and swollen. My left wrist is beautiful colors now. My right elbow is bruised and my right hip hurts. I am pretty sure I pulled every muscle I have. Two hundred words down and I am just getting started. I dealt with that stuff and went to give Charlie his insulin. That was when I discovered that I had left the vial sitting out all night. So it was ruined. I had another vial but that is half a vial wasted. About thirty dollars worth. I uncapped the needle only to find it had bent in putting it in the cap last night. I got a fresh needle and gave Charlie his shot. Speaking of spoiled insulin, Papa's insulin at the house was expired and unrefrigerated. My mother in law discovered this when she took over control of his meds. He had not been using functional insulin. He also was taking his Parkinson's meds wrong because he did not feel like cutting the pills in half. I am sure there were other mistakes but those are the main ones that she mentioned. She has reordered the insulin, but it is a mail order pharmacy that his insurance goes through and it just depends on when they mail it out. I would send him one of my pens but he is on different insulin. Four hundred words down and there is more day to come. We asked my sister in law and her husband over to help me get nathan's room done. They were supposed to get here at eleven, they did not get here until almost one. Mittens kept trying to eat the tortillas through their bag that I had set out on the table for the lunch we were going to have first. I had to kennel her. It is a big kennel and she has a bed, litterbox, food and water in there and to keep her occupied there are dangle elastic toys hanging from the top and plenty of balls for her to play with. Still it is not running loose so it is a bit of a punishment which is what she needed at the moment. With her up I was able to set out the rest of the non refrigerator items for lunch and begin chopping onions and tomatos for the fresh guacamole. My wife handles the avocado since I am allergic and almost could not breathe the last time i had avocado. I put the diced onion plate down on the stove to get the meat out to cook and when i came back to it there was a bug crawling across it. The exterminator comes tomorrow. So i killed the bug and chopped onions again. They were strong onions. I cried again. At least it was not over Papa for the moment. Six hundred fifty words done, around four hundred left to write and more of my day to happen. They finally got here and we ate lunch. We had to rush and half ass the "Deviled Egg" style brownies we baked last night. We baked them in egg shaped sillicone pans and then pressed a divot in the top to put the filling in. We were supposed to pipe frosting into the divots so they looked kind of like deviled eggs. We managed to spoon a bit into the divot and call it good. We didn't have the time or energy to break out the piping bags. The brownies were good but the frosting was way too much. Still i think they are a go for easter. We will cook the easter batch a little longer they verged on soggy but overall the taste test was a go. So good things did happen today. Not everything went wrong. Eight hundred words down and I still have to talk about the work we did in the basement. After lunch the guys and I went downstairs to start on the room. THey hauled garbage up for me. It had been my mother in law's room before the flood. Once the trash was out I asked Adam to put up a couple of plug in undercabinet lights. One in the room and one just outside of it. We also put in a powerstrip high on the wall to keep it out of any potential flood water. Once we could see in the room, it was time to move the totes out of there. I bent to pick up one of them and got nearly passing out dizzy. I had to sit down. My blood pressure was ninety two over sixty seven. Low. And it got lower when i changed positions, like bending over or standing up or yeah anything i would have to do to help with moving the totes. so Adam and his brother had to move the totes without me. But the room got empty pretty quickly and I started hydrating because I think that was why my blood pressure was so low. I was probably dehydrated. I did not hit my water quota either of the last two days and had only had half a bottle of water and twenty ounces of orange soda. I have since drank over five bottles and my mouth is still dry though the dizziness has subsided except for when I change position. Oops I am fifty words over my target now. I have not gotten to them leaving yet. Perhaps tomorrow. |
| Are you okay? I asked. I might have gotten some dust in my eye. I answered.. No, are you okay? I would have glared at myself if I could.. Really? What does it matter? It matters.. To me? Of course. I am pretty sure how I feel. Then why am I asking if I am okay? Because... So now I do not want to answer that question either? Why am I asking? Because... ...I am not okay. I am hurting. Why? I glare at myself again. And blink loudly. Why? Because things are going to change... ...because we are going to be tight on money... ... because Papa is dying...slowly... ...and I can not even help him. I can not relieve his discomfort, his confusion, his pain. I can not reassure him that everything is going to be okay. I can not make him aware of reality. He thinks he is still in the army, that he has children that do not exist, that "the seekers are stopped in a bus outside and they are coming for him." He does not know when he is. He does not know where he is. I do not know if he is sure who he is. And then all of a sudden he is lucid, and he's going to clean his apartment and cook dinner for him and Nate, and he is not really lucid then either...he is just a different kind of gone. That is the real trouble... Not that we are going to lose him... But that we really already have... And now we are dealing with a childlike stranger that looks like him, and sounds like him, and just is not him, and we can not just throw up our hands and be done with it because somewhere in there he just might be trying to get back to us. Are you okay? ... ... ... Are you okay?? ... ... No...I am not okay... And I do not know what I need to be okay. So I need a thousand words today and I am sitting at three hundred fifty words give or take right now. It is ten in the morning. I have to go to the store and pick up twenty pounds of chicken hind quarters for Easter dinner. They are fifty eight cents a pound right now and I would fill my freezer with them if it were not already full or almost full. That is the cheapest meat has been in a while and I am leaping on it.. I have sixty rolls of toilet paper. I would only have twenty two if Walmart would have let me buy one twelve pack. But the only option it would give me was a four pack of twelve packs.. the other options were ridiculously expensive per roll like I could have gotten a three pack of individual rolls for seven bucks. Anyway now one of my bedrooms looks like 2020 all over again. Sigh. I am not okay. I should try and get a little bit of rest. I have not been sleeping well. I should get up and eat breakfast so I can take my pills. My antidepressants are in my morning box and from the sounds of me it would be a bad idea to miss those. What to eat though? There were no leftovers left last night. But there is bacon and tomato from the night before. My wife made guacamole yesterday and I would love to polish it off for her, but it would kill me. I am anaphylactically allergic to it. Not quite sniff a peanut and blow up like a balloon allergic but enough that I have to be careful not to cross contaminate. Six hundred and thirty words down and only three hundred and seventy left for the day. My hand keeps going numb from typing on my phone.i just did not want to pull out the computer to write this and it needed to be written... I am not okay. That was only another forty words. It seems like it should have been more. I feel like I have written more than a thousand words worth of words today today. Some of them were really rough. I am managing to get this challenge done and twenty six paychecks butwrite today am behind on the poetry challenge and the Bradbury challenge. And I need to do the contest challenge for the month I think. I might have done an entry for the contest challenge but I do not think so. Two hundred forty words left today and I interrupted the flow of words with breakfast.. now I am on my way to the store to pick up the chicken and some other stuff. I have to get a few things for Papa. Pepsi, muffins, and creme filled cookies, and this is all while we wait for his insulin to show up. Yes he is diabetic and no he does not want sugar free. He is on palliative care now and that is just a step from hospice so... I guess I get him cookies? He does not want to be sick. He does not want to be old. He does not want to be confused. I can do nothing about those wants.. he wants cookies. I can give him cookies. I bought him thirty dollars worth of cookies snack cakes and muffins. I also got him a twenty four pack of Pepsi. I hope that gives him a little happiness. If Nate lets him eat them. Seventy words left to write now. I am not okay Will I be okay? ... ... Ever? ... Things happen. Things change. Bad things happen. Bad changes come. You do not just stop breathing because of them. They are not endings. There it only one ending in life and that is when you die. We do not know what comes next. He is dying, that is an ending he will not be around anymore. Yeah but he will still be with me. It is just a change in our relationship. I said goodbye to Mom and I still feel her. I am not okay. |
| Nine hundred seventy five words due today. I double checked the date and number everything seems to be in line. I still do not know what the penalty for mislabling the third's entry will be. There is no mention of a penalty in the frequently asked questions or anywhere else i can find. I can not be the only one who screwed it up like this, can I? Could I be? I am so tired today, I drank an iced coffee with extra espresso. All it managed to do was make me nauseous enough to lose half of my dinner. It feels really late in the day but it is only six forty two here. I want to go to bed now. I need to do this. I do not want to do this. I do not feel like writing. I do not know what to write. I do not know how to write. What should I write? How should I write? Why should I write? Why do I write? Why do i not want to write? Do i not want to create? Do I not want to play? Do I not want to see what my characters are going to do next? To be honest, i have not been playing with my characters here anyway. All I have really been doing is bitching about not wanting to write, not knowing what to write, and how tired I am. I really am tired though. I am exhausted. Life is sucking right now and i just can not seem to rest. Last night was a wild night. I fell asleep cuddling my wife, but had to roll over because she kept jerking her arm away from me and my leg was going numb. I think I rolled over at about eleven. Then i dreamed dreams that felt like they took at least eight hours to happen. Then the alarm went off for me to give gracie her pill at one. I thought it was morning but it had only been two hours. Then i went back to sleep and that felt like it lasted five minutes before the nine oclock alarm went off to give the dogs their meds. I didn't even really feel like i slept. It was a time warped kind of sleep last night. Grammarly is flagging me big time tonight but I am getting better at ignoring it. Maybe someday i will be able to ignore the inner editor long enough to get a first draft done without editing it. We have a big thunderstorm passing by us right now. it might produce a tornado, not likely but possible enough that we are in a tornado watch. The funny thing is that there is a winter weather advisory on the same page of our weather forecast. Last week we were having snow, today we were over sixty degrees and tonight we will be in the high twenties so flurries are not impossible but the precipitation is supposed to be over by the time it gets that cold. I wonder how many words I am going to get done tonight. I have been running over the daily goals by at least twenty five words. Sometimes it has been a hundred or more words. Right now I am at about five hundred fifty words. that leaves four hundred and twenty five I think. Right now my wife is watching a mini series on the BTK killer. They are putting him on trial right now. He just made a speech about how he was so like his victims. Now they are discussing the sentence he recieved. He is serving ten life sentences. My spelling is terrible today. Three hundred and fifty words left to write. I do not want to write. I do not feel like writing. I do not know what to write. I can do this. I can write nine hundred and seventy five words today. I CAN do this. I can handle this challenge. I CAN handle this challenge. I will write. I will write three hundred more words. I can do this. I can wait to go to bed. I will stay awake. I have drank five water bottles, one twenty four ounce fruit juice cocktail, and a large mcdonald's mocha frappe. i should go get another water bottle. That way when I actually get thirsty I have something to drink. It would be good in case i get hiccups. They tore down BTK's house. That is a good thing. people would be visiting it and disturbing the neighborhood more than it already has been to take pictures and steal pieces as souvenirs. Seven hundred seventy seven words only two hundred words left to write. I do not know what to write about now. I do not feel like writing more . I do not want to write. Why do I have to write? Just be cause I signed up for the second month of this crazy challenge. THere goes another roll of thunder. I feel really bad for BTK's daughter, and her family. I have a cat in my lap and he just had a sneezing fit under my lap desk. He popped the cupholder out of the slot. I think my wife's Video is over. I wonder what she will watch next. It is raining pretty hard again. I just had a pop up from my email advertising viagra at home. There aren not any men here I do not know why i get stuff like that. I really do not know why i get porn ads. I have never googled it. I have never submitted my email to anything remotely related to it and yet I get it. It looks like the wife is going to watch more true crime. Nope, Instead she decided to put spotify on the tv and watch facebook videos on her phone. So instead of watching her show over the top of my computer screen I have to completely turn away from my computer to check out what she is watching. THat makes me even less productive than when she is watching things on the tv. Whoops I am over a thousand words now. I do not need to go that high until tomorrow. Byeee. |
| Nine hundred and fifty words due today. I was hoping to use this time to work on an old novel that needs to be finished. But i spent half the afternoon trying to get myself back into the flow of the story. It is one I have been working on for years. Decades. I know how it ends and I am worried about writing it because the main character dies. and It opens a whole new chapter for the universe. Next comes the Tanerian war which extends throughout the omniverse. I want to finish it so I can say to myself it is done. But I already know what happens. It turns out that she didn't die because she was revived by conglomerating with multiversal doplegangers. She becomes a compilation of all her alternate selves from universes that were destroyed with crunch bombs. She is discovered in a side universe separate from the main omniverse that was made up of the crushed remains of various universes. There were other survivors of course they were composite beings as well. That universe and all the remnant worlds and lifeforms it contains are the new home for the factors. It is the only remnant of the old omniverse that remained after the first omniverse ultimately collapsed. I have to pee. I do not want to get up. I am tired, though I slept all day, well at least a few hours of it. I am tired and do not really want to write i have to though. I do not want to do anything at all. Just lay around and be lazy so I do not hurt. I have not been dizzy today but I have not done much. I want to watch tv but i need to write, I have to write but i can not work on my story yet because it has been a while and i need to get back up to steam. i need to remember everything i was going to do. In the story I have notes written on things but I have to climb back into the head of my characters. there are several of them. i have braided plotlines that i am attempting to weave together. There is annette who is the main character. She has the fate of dying for her people, though not really. Then there is her right hand man Carl who is passionately in love with her but has never let her know. Then there are Max and Yllera who were main characters of the last book and are a pairbonded cross species couple. THen there is Kadin and Illeria who are kaviri twins exiled for dishonoring their adult hood rites. Then there is Teo and his family who Max and annette rescued before the could be beheaded. Teo and Annette form a pair bond and marry over the course of the book and then they have a child. Annette nearly dies in childbirth. Because she has been experimenting with testing her immunity to various elements of a biomechanical coalescent collective. Thanks to her the factors manage to develop treatments to remove people from the collective and possible routes for vaccinating whole worlds against assimilation. The collective known as the second Riiad collective. the first one was stopped by Penelope harvey and the psychokineticly powerful child in her womb. Together they blasted the elements of the collective from existence across omniversal boundaries. They were a one in a billion convergence in powers, unreproducible by natural means. Without them Annette's freakish immune system is the only hope against the new collective. But it is at a big cost to her system. SHe nearly dies in childbirth and in the end when she is shot with a projectile designed to assimilate people into the collective. her system crashes and gives up. In the following books the omniverse is destroyed and a new omniverse imerges. The place in between that was created from the debris of the collapsing omniverse called crunch space survives as a bridge between the two omniverses. The four powerful Martin sisters Pamela, Penelope, Ellen and Nadara. They were part of the first generation of briaunti They have the same mother but three different fathers. they were engineered from human genetic material by a brillian geneticist who happened to be ellen's father. He was also the donor of one third of the male contribution in nadara. The other two men are Kevin martin pamela's father and joseph whitefeather, penelope's father. I have written seventeen books in that universe. but I am worried about finishing the stories in between. right now I do not have control over the books I have published. I ca not log into My KDP account which was linked to my amazon account which they closed because I have not made purchases through it recently enough. so yeah. I do not know how I would publish my book even if i get it finished. I have sequels to the series in the works too. they take place in the new omniverse. with characters that were shoved through from the old omniverse by dying civilizations. They are very powerful individuals with combinations of traits from many of the old omniverse's most powerful species. THey can do things like reweave space and time, absorb the abilities of others. some can heal across species. One girl healed cancer patients and in the process altered their dna giving them abilities similar to her own. One of the individuals, Brenda Bench stumbled across the preserve which is what the survivors call their crunchspace universe and meets up with the Factors and joins them in their work. SHe helps to completely reformat the way they work and gets named chief field factor. She gives them a great deal of knowledge about the new omniverse. She also helps them search for the Martin sisters who entered the new omniverse when it first opened up. THey were missing and have not been heard from since stepping through the portal. As of this time I have written and published the stories of the discovery of two of the sisters I am working on the third sister that book is almost finished and I have ideas for the fourth book. |
| I had the right number of words I needed yesterday, but listed the entry as M-4. I told you I was sleepy. I am curious to find out what my penalty for that is. Still tired today but not quite as miserably tired. I still do not feel like writing. I can not think of anything to say. I do not know what to write. Why do i do these things to myself. I am two weeks behind on the poetry challenge because I need to write a specific form. I do not want to. I do not like poetry forms that tell you what to do. I am much more of a free verse type. My thumb still hurts from where it got cut on the lid of the laundry detergent. The other one that got cut by my knife when i was stupidly using it like a fork, is feeling fine and may as well be healed. Typing is not fun with my thumb hurting every time I use the space bar. My hand is cramping up. Especially my thumb. I really should do my carpal tunnel exercises. I could use a forearm massage on both my arms. I fell the day before yesterday. I was taking the trash out and went to pull the door closed behind me and somehow got over balanced and down i went. I bruised my left knee and jarred both arms and landed on my butt. I did not hit my head. But I have been dizzy for the past two days. I do not know why for sure but I am pretty sure that i am dehydrated. My eyes are acting weird. Somewhat blurry at times. I do not know what is causing that either. I probably should go in for my yearly exam. Last year the eye doctor did not do much. They did not check my prescription either time i was in there. he referred me to a specialist and the specialist could not find any reason for me to have been referred. I am thinking of changing my eye doctor. There is another branch of the same practice. Maybe they would actually do their job. He is the same eye doctor that got as far as finding my wife's cataracts and then sent her to a specialist without really doing much of a check on her either. The eye surgeon seemed upset that he had not even attempted a refraction on her. He barely looked at her eyes he diagnosed her with cataracts on the basis of an optimap picture of her eyes. He barely spent five minutes on her. we spent more time waiting for the appointment than in it. Four hundred sixty words down and four hundred seventy to go give or take. I have no idea what to write. I have a tendency of capitalizing the I in idea but at the same time I do not always capitalize the pronoun. Does that mean ideas are more important to me than I am? is it some kind of frieudian slip. I do not know. I have cracked the five hundred word barrier. Four hundred words left to write. I am tired. My eyes are tired. I have to stop for a while to give the dog his insulin and the other dog her heart pills. I will be back and I will write the four hundred words. I am not correcting my grammar or spelling or punctuation. I am just writing. Screw commas! I am also not fixing capitalization at this point. I just want to get done with this. I am tired. I am sleepy. I am worn down. my eyes hurt. My head hurts. My eyes are really blurry and dry. I am thinking of putting in some eye drops to see if that would help. I think I just need a new glasses prescription. And new glasses. I guess that goes without saying that i would get a new pair of glasses with a new prescription. two hundred fifty words left to write. I can do this, I CAN do this. I will do this. I can write. I will write. I can not believe i labled yesterday's entry with today's date. Oh well, I wonder what the penalty will be. I hope they are not too strict about it. I had the right number of words and it was on time just mislabled with the date. It has not been edited. I feel stupid for letting that happen. I was just so tired last night. I am so tired right now. Almost eight hundred words. just One hundred seventy five words left to write. I got this. That is not gramaticly correct was it. Grammarly did not flag it, so whatever that means. One hundred twenty five words to finish the challenge for the day. My wife is watching facebook videos again and i keep getting distracted. There is a cat that bit a guy who is there to help the cat. My arms hurt. I hurt everywhere after my fall. I have a cat in my lap under the lap desk I am using. I know it is not Ruby MIttens. I just got told to correct my spelling by grammarly I do not know what triggered that. my leges are being uncooperative. they are kicky and uncomfortable. I need to lie down but I can not until I get the right number of words done. I do not want a penalty two days in a row. |
| Nine hundred words to write today, and I got even less sleep than I did yesterday. I was up at seven thirty this morning. I went to bed at one this morning. I need sleep, but I just can not get it. I am so tired, and that is a recipe for bad times, and I am going through bad times as it sits. This is all bad for my mental health. I am so tired. I could fall asleep right now, except that I could not. If I were to attempt to take a nap, my brain would start obsessing about things. Not always the big issues we are going through sometimes it is about whether or not the walmart order will end up substituting what we need for dinner. It would not be a problem if the car were out of the shop and my mother in law could take me, but she does not pick up the car until it is questionable whether or not that she could drive home let alone go on errands with me. In fact it is five pm and I do not know if she picked up the car today. That is a problem because we have prescriptions to pick up asap, for us and our animals. Sophie only has a day and a half worth of her heart pills. That is not good. She needs those. My wife was put on a new med after today's emergency telemed. The provider put her on a pill so she could sleep since she has not been having luck with that either. She has nightmares too. I had real trouble finishing that sentence. I just can not keep my little choo choo train running on one track in my head. It keeps derailing. I just really need some sleep. I hope my wife will let me watch some bbq pitmasters so i can perhaps fall asleep, at least for a little while. It does not have a plot I have to follow and I can always go back and rewatch it so I will not really be missing anything. But she feels the need to stop the show when I am almost asleep. She has even woken me up to ask me if I was asleep. Seriously? That almost seems comedic if it were not so sad. I am tired. I do not want to write. I do not know what to write. I am just typing to keep words coming right now. My hands are on autopilot. I am not sure if my brain is even involved. God help me if I stop a sentence in the middle. I know I will not be able to finish the sentence. Sentence or sentance. I guess it is the first one since the second was what lit up red. E not A, okay. Four hundred eighty one words written here. Just another four hundred twenty words needed. I do not know if I can do it. I am so very tired and I do not know what to write. I do not want to write. I just do not feel like it. But I am trying to start a habit that I can carry through whether or not I am having a good day. Accountability is key to this. I do not want any more penalties. I want to get these entries done on time and on word count. Five hundred seventy five words written. Three hundred nineteen words to go. I can do this. I CAN do this. I think I can do this. Maybe, somehow, I might be able to do this. Three hundred words left to write. I have nothing of any real meaning to say. What in the hell do I write about? Grammarly is pissed at me. Half of this entry is underlined in red. I do not care. I am not going to edit it. My wife is watching a show about a texas ranger that is getting confessions out of serial killers. It is slightly distracting me. I want to watch it, but actually think I might fall asleep if I tried. The ribs are on for dinner and they have less than forty minutes to cook. I had trouble getting walmart to deliver the right bbq sauce delivered. WHen I was shopping they did not offer the flavor I wanted as an option. When i went to the substiutions they had it as an option to substitute. I clicked on that. Luckily the sauce got substituted so I got what I wanted. They substituted something else I just can not remember what it was. Wait it was the cornbread. So sleepy.. I just want to take a nap but it is close to time that i need to sauce the ribs. My thumb hurts, I cut it on a broken cap to my laundry detergent. It hurts worse than the cut on the other thumb with my knife. That one is healing well and it is only a few hours older than the other thumb. The painful thumb is cut so that the part of the finger that touches the space bar is exactly the part that is ripped up. It hurts. It hurts to type. I do not want to write anymore, but I need about twenty words. So very tired. I want to take a nap. I still need to do a review for today so I can earn a badge for twenty six paychecks. I am so close only one more day? Oh yes the word count is good I can stop now. Byee... |
| Day two of March, I owe eight hundred seventy five words today. Okay I can do this. I want to be productive. I want to write words for my novel, but my head is too tightly wrapped around the issues with Papa. The latest is that he is coming home today. They have not completely done in the infection. They said that his disorientation and lack of a grasp on reality was caused by the sepsis. He is still disoriented and confused. Does that not mean he is still septic? But he is heading home? Not even to a nursing facility, to his apartment where he has little supervision, next to no help, and ended up septic possibly because he was not taking his medicine correctly. So yeah, it seems like the doctors are trying to end him. My wife has washed her hands of the situation. No one is listening to our concerns, not the doctors, not her uncle who just drove papa home, not my mother in law who is supposed to be looking after his best interests. Her "care" is partially how he ended up in the hospital. I am so tired. I just want to go to sleep for a week uninterrupted. I can not even get one night's uninterrupted sleep. Nine PM is insulin time for Charlie, pain pill time for Precious, and time for Sophies three heart pills. Then I can sleep a while, but only until one AM when Gracie needs her first dose of trazodone for the day, every eight hours for her. Then nine AM means two heart pills for sophie, and allergy pill for precious and charlie, insulin for charlie, and the second dose of trazodone for gracie. Then sometimes i can attempt to go back to sleep for another hour before my wife wakes up for the day and expects me to do the same. Note she is not getting up for any of the med dispersion so yeah. But her mental health absolutely depends on her being rested and with the issues with papa have her having difficulty sleeping. She does not remember any bad dreams, but she wakes up agitated several times per night, yes this means I wake up several more times a night. I am soo sleep deprived. I am so tired. I want to go to bed now. Screw the word count total I need for the day. My wife is watching videos on her phone..Right now she is watching a video about a mentally ill parrot. The vet is putting him on prozac. Yeah the people med. Poor thing is madly in love with his woman. He plucks his feathers when she leaves him alone, and he is incredibly jealous and agressive towards her boyfriend. Poor birdy. My wive sent me the video but I watched the whole thing over her shoulder. Yeah I know i should have been writing. My eyes are slooping. I am so tired. I need to get on my phone game too to get the daily vip points and stuff. I just want to go to sleep. I do not want to do this. I do not want to write. I just want to relax and play my game and maybe watch some facebook videos. I do not want to think about the call in the middle of the night telling us it is over, or he had to go back to the emergency room, or it is midnight and his lunch is five minutes late. Yeah good times coming up. Good times. My eyes keep attempting extended blinks. My right eye is slightly blurred, i hope it is because I am so very tired. I need to get some real sleep, but I have been having such trouble getting to sleep. My brain wrestles with intrusive thoughts for at least an hour while i lay there in the dark. I have been falling asleep much better with Bbq pitmasters on the tv. The trouble is that my wife keeps waking me up to tell me she is turning off the show so I do not miss anything. I do not tell her that I would rather she just let me sleep. It is so hard to fall asleep. I am exhausted. I need to paint the basement floor. I need to clear cobwebs from nathan's room. We are thinking of having brother in law and sister in law over to help me get that room ready for Nathan. There are a lot of big totes. They need to move to the end of the basement I need to finish paintint the floor. I do not know what has me putting it off. It is becoming something of an emergency situation. I think we only have until the thirty first with him living in papa's apartment. I do not think he will be able to stay through april. I am disturbing myself again. I need to go back to talking about how exhaused and sleepy I am. How I just do not want to write because I am so tired. I actually have over eight hundred sixty words for today. I do not think i have another fifteen words in me. Wait i only need three words. I made it. I wrote enough words for today. I need to double check whether i have done my streak items so I can earn my badges for the twenty six paychecks challenge. |
| I am signing on for stage two that means I need eight hundred and fifty words for today. I have no idea what to write. well I did think about working on my stalled work in progress. i have notes ready and everything but I just do not feel like it now. I could go and find a prompt in one of the contests or challenges. Today is the start of week ten of the bradbury challenge. I have written the story for this week and submitted it already but I can write two weeks ahead, so i can write two more stories and have them count. Ooh it also is the first of march so there are new Contest challenge contests to enter. I am thinking maybe writing for a poetry contest this month if there is a good one. I rarely have any luck with writing for poetry contests. Especially when they are long form poems. One hundred and sixty three words written out of eight hundred and fifty. maybe i should work on a scene out of my story after all. I just do not want to write today. I really do not want to write that particular story because the main character dies tragically in the end. Just talked to my mother in law. Papa is extremely disoriented. He does not know where he is. He thinks he still lives in the house My wife grew up in. They have not lived there in fourteen years. That was two apartments ago. I do not think he is coming home this time. It is either the swan song or he had deteriorated too much to be in his own home. I am thinking we have a memorial to plan soon. My gut tells me this is it. Last time he was in the hospital, i knew he was coming home. It will surprise me if it happens this time. Surprise? It will shock me that the hospital workers care that little for them. I am super upset right now, but I feel like I need to swallow it because my wife is not taking this well and I need to support her. I feel like i shouldn't be upset because i am only related by marriage, but come on. I have spent more time with him in the sixteen years I have known him and he has treated me better than the father that i was born to fifty years ago in november. When my mother died HE was the man that patted me on the back and reassured me it was going to be okay. He loves me more than my own father. He accepts me for who and what I am something my father never has. I feel like I am losing my daddy. But I can not cry because he is my wife's papa. She gets dibs on breaking down not me. I got to break down when my mother died. She gets dibs on this one. I can not fall apart. I can not fall apart. I can not fall apart. But inside I am. I hope the car is just the starter and that it is not more than seven hundred dollars to fix. I can not lose papa and every form of transportation I depend on at the same time. Though it is poetic that the car would go into the sunset around the time her master does. I think she has been missing him. He is not going to last much longer. What am I going to do? My wife is going to self destruct. She is not mentally healthy to begin with and this is a major loss. I do not know how we are going to get through this. I need to repaint the basement floor and get the stuff out of nathan's room. I need to clean up the cobwebs and sweep. I need to get about twelve cinder blocks down there to elevate his couch, table and clothing tote. I know i should offer him a real room with a real bed and dresser and that is not what he wants. He has lived on a couch for the sixteen years I have known him and I am not going to make him change that when he will be struggling to survive this loss. Nathan is my wife's brother and he is almost exactly ten years younger than my wife. He has his own issues. He didn't finish high school. His mother basically dumped him on us the last year he was in high school. I do not think my mother in law has taken responcibility for him during the entire sixteen years that I have known her. She pawned him off on us then pawned him off on the grandparents because he was getting close to us and starting to treat us with more love and respect than he had for her. When we were not raising him we ended up taking her in and basically raising her. She is not a responcible adult. The problem is that right now she is the adult responcible for Papa. Okay I have whined, bitched and bullshit for eight hundred and seventy five words. I am done. |
| Papa is still in the hospital. There has been no word on him getting out. They have to replace both stents with larger ones to hopefully that will help drain the infection. They would not send him home if he was still septic, would they? Anyway if the larger stents do not work they will have to do some kind of surgery. I figure it will be at least a few more days in the hospital, and they will probably want to put him in a nursing facility afterwards. I ordered a long surge protector with eight outlets and a couple of lights for Nathan's room. It looks like he will be moving in sooner rather than later. I am not ready for that. Really not ready. We sometimes clash like oil and water. He is stubborn, and smart, I am stubborn and smart. We both think we are right. He does not feel like he has to listen to me. But he is going to this time. It is my damn house he is moving in rent free. I will be feeding him, he better respect that. He really doesn't have anywhere else to go. His mother is on housing and she can not have him with out risking losing that. My Brother and sister in law have four people already living in a two bedroom house. And they can not afford a drain on their resources when they have a kid to support. We are on a fixed income and we can not really afford a drain on our resources but we can not tell him to live on the street either. I wish someone else would step up. Honestly that just is not going to happen. I am also worried that we are not going to have the safety net of Papa helping us out if we need it. He has covered potential overdrafts when we have had issues. We pay him back but... I am just worried. We are going to have to make some changes. Damn am I stressed. I need to stop thinking about that stuff. It is just going to put me into a panic attack. Let alone the crushing grief of losing Papa or him having to permanently live in a nursing facility. We just can not take him in too, even if he would help out financially. I do not have the mental health or physical strength to care for him properly no matter how much I want to. I did it with my mom and failed miserably only managing to take care of her for two days before she ended up back in the ER and then back in Madonna. I still feel like a failure I can not fail him in the same way. That would be worse than losing him is going to be and I really do not need that on top of losing him. I wrote a story a couple of days ago I need to copy to its own item so I can submit it to the bradbury challenge. It is almost time for the next week's entry. I want to try to write something for the daily flash fiction challenge today too, but that may mean that this entry goes really long. I think I only need seven hundred and seventy five words for today and I am at five hundred eighty two. It is okay to go over word count but that is going to put me massively over word count and I don't even know if I would even like the story. The last two prompts I have tried fizzled out before I had stories. But then again I really did not feel like writing last night. Too much stuff going down for me to really focus. My damn cat peeked over the top of the screen and moved me to a different page and I lost about sixty words thank god for the auto save feature. I am at six hundred ninety one words now. I would be farther but, Mittens. She is just too curious for anybody's good. The litlle munchkin is cute but troublesome. Today is the last day of the challenge and need seven hundred words and at seven hundred thirty four words I only need another fifty. So if I am going to I need to hit the Daily flash fiction challenge now rather than later. Daily flash fiction Prompt for 2/28/26 Write a story that includes the line: "I think we're going the wrong way." "I think we're going the wrong way," I said softly. To get him to ask for directions rather than blindly following his phone, I needed to proceed carefully. "This is what the phone is telling me to do." "Did you put the address in correctly?" He glared at me for a fraction of a second. He was red in the face. I smiled at him and nodded. Okay, so maybe Google Maps is off. Still, this does not look like the correct route." "What do you want me to do? This is where it said to go!" He slammed on the brakes and hit the steering wheel. "I do not know what else I can do." "We could ask for directions from a local." He gestured out at the dirt road we were on. "Point one out!" "Perhaps we should go back to the highway. There was a gas station there." He grimaced and then began to turn around. All went fine until he overshot into the ditch on the side of the road. He fought with it for fifteen minutes, and then began hitting his head on the steering wheel. "Should I call roadside assistance?" "Where do you tell them we are?" "Good point. Well, perhaps I should call the B&B and let them know we are going to be a little late, but we still want our reservation." "Why not?" I called, and they asked where we were stuck. I told them we were somewhere on rural road 128. They said to wait where we were, someone would come help us out of the ditch and lead us to the B&B. Shortly, a tractor came trundling down the road from the direction we had been going. They got us out of the ditch and turned back around in the direction we had been going. Then they turned and went back the way we came. We followed. Ten minutes later, we came to a sign announcing the B&B, just about the time the road turned to pavement. It turned in, and we followed. We parked, and the tractor driver came to the driver's side window. "I don't know why you were coming the direction you were. You should have come from the highway." "We did, the map app said to get off at exit 422." "Oh, it must not have updated after exit 423 reopened. Yeah, the highway is just a short hop on down this road." So we were going the wrong way in the right direction. |
| Seven hundred fifty words due today. I hope I can manage it. Today has been a crap ton of crazy. First Papa was taken to the hospital by paramedics this morning. Punchline he is septic because of a bad urinary tract infection they have supposedly been treating for a month. Then we had to get his rent paid. We had to go into the bank to get the money order because we could not get the atm to give us money for me to take into my bank for a money order when I went in to get a money order for my mother in law's rent. We went to my bank. Then we were on our way to drop off the checks at the management company when I had to pee. We stopped at a gas station and I got us drinks and peed. When I got back in the car, which had not been acting right, would not start. We sat for an hour waiting for brother in law to come attempt to jump us. It did not help. The car is getting towed to the mechanic in the morning. I got home minutes ago. Instead of the ribs I was going to cook for dinner, we are having Domino's. I just hope they get our order right and here while it is still warm. Their service sucks and I do not like pre tipping them, but if I wait until it is delivered the drivers have a habit of deciding their own unauthorized tip so I round up to the nearest dollar and put that as their tip. If they actually do a good job I tip them more with cash, but they have to actually follow the delivery instructions and call me when they arrive and hand me my pizza. That said I am going to write for The Adam West Conspiracy today. the Prompt is Here's the list of titles for March 2026; please reply with your entry by midnight on March 31 March 2026 TITLES --- Choreography on the Bed --- --- Disco Catholicism (or Disco Catholics) --- --- The Lumpen Proletariat --- --- An Excellent Rectangle --- --- Walking the Wild Cheese --- REMEMBER to use one of these AS YOUR TITLE Can't wait to see what everyone comes up with!! BONUS CHALLENGE You will receive an Extra 2,000 gift points if your story is centered around betrayal (for the Ides of March), whether you're a winner, runner-up, or neither! For those of you not familiar with ancient Roman history: What is 'The Ides of March?' Open in new Window. Walking the Wild Cheese James seemed like a great guy. He was attentive. He remembered anniversaries. But he had a sick sense of humor. Mostly it ran to dad jokes, but there were times... I should have known. The day I had enough was bright and cool. Nope, not feeling this prompt. I think I'll try out the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge prompt for 2/27/26 Write a story that includes the words: bone, window, snow Have fun! I awoke chilled to the bone. The fire must have gone out. Probably because I hadn't properly tended it for the night. I got out of bed and shrugged on my robe. I went and spent fifteen minutes getting a roaring fire going in the wood stove. Then I had to break a layer of ice in the water bottle to put a pot of coffee on. I went to the cabin's only window. I rubbed at the frost until I could see out. It was magical. The forest outside was covered in a fresh blanket of snow. I sighed at the beauty of it. The snow meant my stay could be extended. I had a four wheel drive vehicle but my boss didn't know that. He would accept that I had been snowed in. Giddy as the prospects of snow days, I began dressing for the day. Okay that is as far as I am getting with that. I just do not feel like writing after the day I had. Dinner came and everything was okay except for the cheesy bread. The cheesy bread was overcooked too the point of being burned. I could complain and maybe get a free pizza, but I do not have the energy. Papa has go through a procedure to place a stent going from his other kidney to his bladder. He already has one in place. Now they are doubling down. It is an urgent need thing they are talking about getting it done tonight. He is septic. I do not want to tell my wife, but I do not think he is coming home this time. Hopefully he ends up in a long term care placement. Hopefully they will not place him in hospice. But my gut is not agreeing with my hopes. |
| I nabbed the daily flash fiction challenge prompt for today. I do not know if I will submit to the contest. I got really sick after dinner and am not feeling well at the moment. Damn taco bell, they did not even get my order right. Yeah I customized a lot, but that does not give them an excuse to screw it up. Then the door dasher took forty five minutes to get it to us. It was not cold but it was not warm either. I ate and was putting the leftovers away when I burped chunks. From there things went south really fast. Now I am laying down and doing my words on my phone. One hundred thirty seven words and I have not even started on the prompt. I have seven hundred twenty five words to write today. Six hundred more words. I hope one prompt is enough because I do not have the energy to scrape up another prompt. I might just have to bs through to the end. Here it goes now to the prompt.. Daily flash fiction challenge 2/26/26 Write a story that includes the line: "Where is everyone?" Have fun! "Where is everyone?" I asked no one. I wandered through the empty house. It seemed like everyone had simply put aside what they were doing and left. The stove was off but the pot of potatoes was still warm. I do not like mysteries, and this situation cried out for a detective. I checked every room, closet, and cupboard. I could not even find the cat. The parrot cage was empty too. I finally sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Commercials played while I considered things. The minivan was missing as was everyone. The TV whistled loudly and a red ticker ran across the bottom of the screen. "The mandatory evacuation has officially been lifted. People are being allowed to return to their homes. The threat was neutralized before a catastrophic meltdown could occur." Evacuation?? Meltdown? My head turned to eye the power plant visible out the big bay window. They all up and evacuated without me? They gathered up the cat and the parrot but could not be bothered to gather me from... Wait where was I before I started looking for everyone ? The last thing I remember is... Was I at work at the plant? Yeah, the coolant system was malfunctioning. I went into the core to free it up. It was so hot. I got the flow going again but I was so hot.. I sat to rest and... I looked at the television as a news update flashed on the screen. "The meltdown was averted by a quick thinking engineer who sacrificed their own life to save millions." I settled back in the chair. Things were getting fuzzy again, blurring into an overall warmth and comforting brightness. At least my family would be alright. That turned dark quickly. I did not see the ending coming. They must have just missed their family as it evacuated. Too bad they did not get to say goodbye.. Though their family likely would not have been able to see them if they were still there.. I thought for a bit in the middle that the character had just been forgotten about in the basement or something.. it was going to be snarky about how little they must mean to the family. Instead they were actually of utmost importance to not just their family but to the community as a whole. The details of where and why are pretty muddy. I did not plan this story out ahead of writing it I just went with the flow.. I would need to research to see if it is even plausible. Also I would need to figure out a precise location.. I could use this this story running a lot longer if I sat down to do it right. It just is not happening today though. I feel like what I left in the toilet after dinner. I only need about fifty more words for today's goal. I can do this. It is nine o'clock. That means it is time for Charlie's insulin and Sophie's heart pills. I think I will probably give Precious a pain pill too. I think they are getting our leftover dinner as their dinner tonight. I wait to give them dinner until med time because the meds stay down better if they eat with them. |
| TIme to write seven hundred words. This challenge is almost over. So close I can taste it three more days to keep it up, Then there is level two of the challenge. Omg i am considering keeping this up all the way through May. I cut my thumb pretty good tonight cutting apart ribs. Actually I used my knife like a fork and slit the tip of my thumb pulling the knife back out. It really did not hurt or bleed very much so I guess it was not too bad, though it is the first time in a long while that I have cut myself deep enough to make me bleed. I am usually so careful. Tonight I just got stupid. Trying out the Daily flash fiction prompt for today Prompt for 2/25 Write a story that includes the line: "What is this supposed to be?" Have fun! "What is this supposed to be?" "I have no idea," I answered offhand. Her hands slammed to her hips. "Would you at least look at it before you answer me?" I sighed and turned to face her. She was standing over a large pile of filthy white fluff. It looked like someone had sheared a sheep and wadded it up in the middle of the living room floor. I cocked my head to the side and tried to make sense of it in my own mind. "I still have no idea." She sighed at me. "Didn't you put it there?" "Me, no, didn't you?" That was when it sneezed. She took two steps back. I leaned forward. "Is it alive?" She stared at me like I was stupid. Then she jumped back as the fluff revealed two shiny black eyes and a wet black nose. It took a step, though I couldn't discern actual feet. Unfortunately, the step was towards my wife. She squealed and leaped onto the sofa. That was when the lump of fluff whimpered. I got on my knees and crawled towards it. It stumbled over its fluff in my direction. It sniffed my hand as I outstretched it. "How did you get in here, little guy?" "Mommy! You found Peanut!" Our daughter June squealed on entering the living room. "Who is Peanut?" My wife barked at her. This time, I looked at her like she was stupid and gestured at the lump of fluff. June ran to the fluff, wrapped her arms around the poor thing, defining a neck with her headlock. "Oh, peanut you had me so worried." "Junie, where did peanut come from?" "Under a bush at the park." My wife squealed, "And you brought it home?" "She didn't have anywhere to go!" I wondered where June could have gotten the idea that the lump of fluff was female. I couldn't even tell what species it was. "Can we keep her?" "Absolutely not!" My wife spat. "We need to find out what Peanut is before we even think of keeping it," I said in a more normalized tone. "How do we do that?" I left the room and came back with my electric shaver. I attacked the fluff with the device, following memories I had from spending time in 4H in high school. Forty-five minutes later, I finally answered my wife. "She is supposed to be a teacup poodle, darling. Peanut still needed a bath and the living room floor needed a shearing of its own, but that is how we came about being dog owners. I edited this in its own item and submitted it to the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge and The Bradbury Challenge. With thirty seven mintutes to spare on the contest and thirty seven minutes to get one hundred more words to complete this challenge for today before today becomes tomorrow. I'm tired, and my wife is snoring beside me. I have cats and dogs snuggled around my legs and feet, making my ankle hurt from being pressed into an unadvisable position. Yes I did figure out why my ankle was killing me. but It is not an easy fix. How do you tell a cat not to lie around your foot because it is causing problems. Even if you could tell them in a way they could understand, would they really care? Not my cats, or dogs, except for Gracie, she would care and then spiral into a raging panic attack I am sure. Over seven hundred thirty words for today, i think I'm done. |
| Six hundred and twenty five words due today and I have eleven. I need to write a villinelle for the poetry prompt challenge. i am caught up but i will fall behind if I do not get this poem written by Sunday. I need to write a short story too. The trouble is I do not have any ideas for a story. I should probably check and see what today's daily flash fiction challenge prompt is. Okay okay I'm going to check. Prompt Daily flash fiction challenge prompt for 2/24/2025 Write a story that includes the words: blank, sigh, chair Have fun! Her blank stare was followed by a slow purposeful sigh. He sat in his chair, waiting for her to realize he didn't have anything more to say. The facts were the facts, and no amount of denial was going to change them. Finally, she blinked and shook her head. She looked at him. The corners of her eyes glistened with the beginning of a flood of tears. "Isn't there anything we can do?" He shook his head, and his face remained a facade of resignation. He didn't know he could keep it up. "There isn't much time either." "How long do we have?" "A month, maybe two." "That's it?" "They may act like it is an exact science, but sometimes a couple of months can turn into years. It just depends on things we can't control." She dried her eyes with her sleeve, "When did they tell you?" "Remember that call this morning?" "You have known for five hours? And you didn't think to tell me?" "I didn't know how to tell you. Telling you makes it too real." "So, what's the plan?" "I guess we just enjoy the time we have left." That is when the kitchen phone started ringing. Joy cleared her throat, "I'll get it." She got up and answered it. I couldn't hear what she was saying. I had no idea who she was talking to. My face blanched when I clearly heard her gasp, "Oh dear God!" I heard the phone clatter to the floor. A few moments passed. From her hushed tone, it seemed she had picked up the phone and was still engaged in the conversation. After a few more moments, Joy came back into the living room. She was as pale as a ghost. Tears flowed down her cheeks unsuppressed. She sat heavily on the recliner, put her face in her hands and sobbed. I stared at her for a moment and then went to comfort her. "What was it?" "Jimmy, it was the doctor. He, he," she broke down into a sobbing fit. I petted her hair and waited to speak. "He said he made a mistake. It isn't cancer. Your x-ray got mixed up with another patient's. You don't have cancer. You are in so much pain because you have a large kidney stone. All you need is a quick procedure to break it up, it will pass, and you'll be fine." "Not cancer?" I nearly collapsed. All day I had been trying to come to terms with the idea that my end was near and that it was going to be painful. Now, a simple procedure? "You're sure?" "Yes, they triple checked this time. The other patient only had one kidney, when they told him he had a kidney stone in his left kidney he had to explain he only had one. Then it took the whole day to figure out what had happened. They made sure. You aren't the one with cancer." She wiped her face with her sleeve. Six hundred and six words done. Only seventy five words left to write for today. I will attempt to write more if I can. I wrote the story for the contest prompt but it is two hundred words too long to submit. So do I trim it down to submit it or am I just happy to have written a story I can submit to the bradbury challenge. I do not want to get behind on that challenge. Whoa six hundred and eighty words. I over shot, by quite a bit. Yeah me. |
| I did not make it into the quill finals this year. I had two nominations but no finalist placing. I guess I should just be overjoyed to have been nominated twice. Considering they were both flash fiction and were nominated in the same category I really can not complain. Neither of them took more than a few hours at only one hundred words each. A nomination is a good payout for so little time spent. Still I was disappointed. Today Gracie was the needy pet. She made me snuggle down with her under the covers until almost ten this morning. I think her anxiety was getting to her and her meds just were not covering it enough. I love her and I wish she did not have such an anxiety problem. She has always been high strung. She had a serious arm humping problem after animal control removed out animal hording problem. We got her fixed hoping that would solve it, but it was not hormonally based it was anxiety based. We had to medicate her. At first we tried CBD drops. That worked for a while, but we ended up needing to add benedryl fo cover it. That worked for a little while but ultimately we had to take her in and look at our medication options. The vet put her on Trazodone. It has worked pretty well but she is at the max dosage and she still has days like today and times when she still tries to hump our arms at times. We probably need to take her back in and find out our other options. Most days she is still okay though, as long as we give her her pill on schedule. I wake up at one a.m. to keep her doses eight hours apart. That keeps her pretty even. My wife is watching facebook videos on her phone next to me. The videos sound cool and are really distracting. I am trying not to listen in as she watches. But I keep looking and listening. I have asked her to send me like ten videos so I can watch them later. They just ate raw abalone. Now they are tasting one hundred year old balsamic vinegar and gold flaked olive oil. My ankle hurts pretty bad. It feels like I sprained it and I have not spent much time on it at all today and I did not twist it. They are eating rare Spanish ham. I am hungry and I just ate dinner. This is frustrating the cat is trying to climb back into my lap and I had to move because of my ankle. They are tasting dry aged wagyu beef. They are spending ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous weirdly shaped snack foods. They did not eat those. Now they are eating ridiculously expensive caviar with poached emu egg. They are drinking kentucky fried chicken flavored prime. THey are about to eat a giagantic lobster. The biggest money can buy.Now she is watching a video about hatching chickens. A couple of them are not hatching and one is not doing well after being assisted in hatching. My leg hurts in this position but my ankle feels better. I can not get comfortable. Now she is watching a video about secret menu items. I can not help watching but I have to get the rest of my words down. I have about one hundred words to go. I think I can do this. It is hard though. She is really difficult to ignore, or at least her videos are. Just over fifty words left to write. I think. I am pretty sure today I need six hundred fifty words. I almost managed that yesterday but not quite I think. Twenty five words left for me to write. I can not just keep mentioning how many words I have left to make up my word count. It sounds almost as much like cheating as writing, "I do not know what to write," a hundred times. I did it! Six hundred and seventy five words so I know for sure I have enough words. |
| Okay, so today I need six hundred twenty five words written. Grammarly is flagging me already, screw it, I am writing for word counts right now and not Grammarly correct. What should I write about today? I have spent the day in bed with at least two if not three animals in my lap. Mostly it was cats. King our orange tabby, the skinny one, spent most of the day either in my lap or in my wife's arms. He has been very needy today. I think it might have something to do with the fact that he is Mittens', our kitten, favorite punching bag. She will go up to him and beg for a groom and will lay there and enjoy it for a while then something snaps inside of her and she starts biting at him. Or he will be relaxing somewhere and then she comes tearing through out of nowhere, pounces him, and then slaps him a few times before randomly running off again. I think she is a psychopath. God help us all when those two get their paws on catnip. Speaking of Mittens, right at this moment she is in my wife's arms. She just ran up and threw herself over my wife's shoulder and started purring. Now she is chewing on my wife's chin. My wife just asked her if she tasted good and Mittens licked her. We have joked about which of our pets would eat our bodies if we both died suddenly. We are pretty confident that most of them probably would not do it on purpose. A couple are lickers and... But we are fairly confident that Mittens would eat us before our bodies were cold. She tries to eat us alive. Mischeif on four paws, Mittens is a crazy little creature. Now she is sitting on my shoulder watching me type. Ooh she has migrated towards the keyboard. I think she is sizing up the consequences of attacking my hands as I type. Now she has wandered to the middle of the bed. She just hid herself under the folded blankets. I think an ambush is in line for someone's future. Precious just climbed behind my head because she was afraid of the ambush. Now Mittens is peeking over the back side of my screen and she is reaching for my mouse. The last time we had a cat this interested in technology, Jewel ordered two pairs of pajama jeans because I walked away from the computer after ordering one pair. I do not know how she managed it but we had to pay return shipping and a restocking fee. King and Mittens just slunk off together into the living room. Probably looking for the residual catnip from their last party. Those two will tear each other up over a catnip stash. Malachi, King's bonded partner almost seems to hate Mittens. For one she monopolizes King's free time. If that were not enough she does the one thing on the planet that pisses Malachi off more than anything else, she makes him run, really run. Not like the few feet the dogs ocassionally chase him before he stops and stares at them telling them that he is done. NO she makes him run for ten minutes at a time. She chases him and prickles him with her claws when he tries to stop and catch his breath. Now Malachi is not only our oldest pet. He is a nearly fifteen year old orange tabby. A senior who is used to being respected by even chihuahua's which respect no one. He is also our plumpest pet at nearly twenty one pounds. He doesn't do exercise and a full bowl is his favorite emotional support object. I can not really object or scold Mittens for making him exercise. But he really wishes I would. |
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