I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew.
I came across this when reading the Spiritual newsletter. I am a Christian. I became involved in the 1980's with a group called the Jews For Jesus. They are a musical group of many Jewish people who send out parts of their organization to other churches and synagogues to sing and explain their spiritual story. In the 80's I took a course in Old Testament Hebrew. The course gave me a background in Translating but not speaking Hebrew. I have since become interested in how the Jewish Holidays commanded by God are celebrated. I recently bought a bible called The Jewish Study Bible for Jews and Christians with a copy of the Old and New Testament. After reading some of your journey, I too believe God has called you to the place where you are. My new study bible states that at one time newly converted Christians worshiped in Synagogues and learned the ways of God. I'm now taking a course in how to speak Hebrew and learning Jewish views in New and Old Testament. God Bless you for sharing your story.
Baruch Hashem! I'm so glad you were added to the newsletter 🙂. I wondered how your moving went (I couldn't find your blog) I've studied with Chabad for 10 years and enjoy reading about your Mitzvahs and your bravery in all this.
I'm Jewish but in the minority here and it's a blessing to read your blog. Shabbat Shalom 🕯️🕯️
Shalom 🙂 I'm doing proofreading for our Blogging Bliss newsletter and I check the links etc. Hashem finds ways for Jews to connect in interesting ways! Most of my Jewish community is online ( we moved to Mississippi 2 years ago and good luck finding much Kosher food or anything! I long ago lived in Brooklyn but didn't know much about my Jewish roots. I've been studying online 10 years and I wish you well!
Shabbat Shalom for next week!
I have to add that I cried after writing this while doing the dishes. I dried my tears and said, "G-d, I'm trusting you." After I finished dishes and dried my hands, I received a call. I have a job interview on Friday morning.
I'm not sure my problem is justifying what I'm doing. It's not even people disagreeing with what I am doing. However, I really can't help but be hurt by people who have known me all my life and people who are supposed to (or have said they do) love me and care about me telling me all kinds of vile and hateful things. I'm not changing my mind. I love everything about Judaism and everything about the Jewish life. I know I will find more friends, but I have to move to where Jews are first!
I don't think you have to justify your actions. They have their minds made up. Hopefully, you can make a Jewish friend or two, around the same age, to help support you in your conversion journey.
I haven't had class with the Rabbi who laughs in a few weeks, and I miss it. However, I have been extremely busy with the transition. I spent over an hour again today toiveling dishes. I put on a few Ark Online videos, dunked my dishes, and dried them off. I did a little happy dance when I was done, because I was done with everything that I had (or so I thought). It is a lot of work to toivel an entire kitchen. I don't even have cups, plates, and bowls yet. I'm glad I didn't try to toivel anything before I finished my conversion. It wouldn't have meant the same as it does right now. Things that I have experienced before have new meaning, and it is like I am doing them for the first time. I like having some firsts still, and I'm glad that toiveling is one of them. I am sure there will be a time when toiveling dishes is just a chore, but that is not the case right now. I'm thankful for that. Being in the room alone with my dishes and the dish mikvah and spending time doing something that only has real meaning after the mikvah is uplifting.
I had a friend who told me that after she got out of the mikvah, she felt an overwhelming need to do mitzvahs. She said that now that some time has passed, she is back to her normal self. I don't have that mindset. I don't think about doing something because it is a mitzvah, but I do think about doing something because Hashem wants me to do it. Though it sounds like the same thing, it's not. I don't want see how many mitzvahs I can do in a day just to say that I did them, because I know I will get worn out and they will lose their meaning. Some mitzvahs I will do because that is the person that I strive to be, and some I will do because that is what Hashem wants from me. I don't understand fully the significance of raising the status of a pan by putting it in a vat of rain water, but I do it happily (Singing if I knew no one was listening), because I know that Hashem loves me, and I love him. So I will continue to rip toilet paper (still don't get it) and dip a dish (I understand this a bit better than the toilet paper issue), because if nothing else, it is time spent with G-d. That makes any weird thing worth it.
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