Midnite Journey

scrolling facebook irks me most days...

So, much like my last blog I posted 'venting about something in the news,' now it's a scroll through facebook. Now, of course, it's facebook, so I know not to believe everything I read on social media. but I just so happened upon an article that while I don't know is true or not, the subject matter is very real. Too real and too saddening, as well as well it pissed me the fu&& off is what it did and then what did I do? yea I started reading the comments people were adding to it. Anyway, this is a short recap on the subject itself.


Basically, it was a story, supposedly non fiction, about a girl who was threatened by a boy because she said, "no." The story, and I wont go do a word for word on this, basically went like this: A girl was threatened by a boy in school because she kept telling him no when he would ask her out. Apparently they shared three periods together throughout the day and in each class the boy would ask the girl out in every class, basically harassing her. For a while this went on, day in and day out. She would always tell him no, she was not interested, she had a boyfriend, etc. but he just wouldn't accept it. Finally one day in their second class together he told her that by their seventh period class she had better say yes because on this day he had brought a gun to school and threatened to shot her if she said no one more time. She told the teacher, principle, councilor and they searched his locker and indeed found a gun. And they arrested him.  Crazy right?! It doesn't end here though. Most of the school, even some of her female friends, blamed her for what might have happened. If she'd just said yes, gave him a try, what would it have hurt to go on one date with him? He would never have come to school with a gun and threatened her life. ARE YOU FOR REAL PEOPLE?! You blame her for what he was capable of doing because he couldn't handle rejection?! How insane...


Then I started reading the comments. One blamed Muslims, others blamed females in general because we females have no idea what it feels like to be rejected. Wait what?! I've been rejected NUMEROUS times in my life, but not once did I threaten a guy or to commit suicide because of it. There are plenty fish in this big ass sea! Then there was another that said he had only ever heard of such a thing happening in America and wanted to hear from other people in other countries if it was happening there too, of course its not just an American thing! People from all over chimed in with stories of their own either hearing about it, witnessing it or experiencing it.


Another women commented her story of how she stayed in a relationship for 5 years out of fear because he first threatened his own life, then her life, then her families life if she ever left. A guy actually commented to her that he felt sorry for her because all she had to do was get a restraining order against him and leave him. He said she wasted all those years when she simply could have just left... Seriously?! I know there are a lot of people who feel the same way in this situation, but you don't think about other possibilities, not like a woman in fear does. If he cant handle rejection and you're already in an abusive relationship with him/her, you fear what he is capable of if you do leave. Okay, say he beats you, but you are still alive. If you leave, how far is he willing to go once he feels he has lost you for good? I've heard too many stories of women leaving an abusive relationship just to wind up dead because the abusive partner had nothing else to loose. Am I saying the abused should stay in the relationship? Hell no, but I am saying I understand why. A restraining order is just a piece of paper and if they weren't scared enough to threaten you the first time, what's a piece of paper saying to them except stay away from this person or else. Or else what? They go to jail because they weren't scared of that when they made the threats in the first place?! Come on!


Another woman posted about how her 14 year old daughter was murdered for this exact same thing. She told a guy no. The people who commented to her were nothing but sympathetic, which was cool to read.


Then there were others who brought up other scenarios such as a woman being to blame for her being raped because of the type of clothing she was wearing, the smell of her cologne, the size of her breasts, the color of her eyes, her hair... on and on. WTF?! REALLY?!


Since when, and I'm supposing since forever, does a woman not have the right to say no? Just plain no?! No other explanation like, I'm already in a relationship, I'm gay, I'm blah blah blah. Just NO should be enough and they should never be blamed for anything bad that happens to them or could have happened to them.


People need to start taking the blame for their own actions, their own choices, no matter what or who or how another person responds to them! If you rape someone it's not because of how they look or smell or walk or talk. Its because you made that choice to rape them, to murder them, to beat them! YOU DID THIS! This shit sickens me and to actually read how women would blame another woman sickens me even more... What if it were you or your mother, daughter, grandmother??? Would you still lay the blame on the victim?! Bet not...