December Advent Challenges

Jubby The (Naughty) Elf

Jubby the elf was naughty indeed
He drank and he cussed and he smoked crack and weed.
He never turned up to his job on time
And made up rude words to nursery rhymes.

He totalled his car one time he was high
He'd cheat and he'd fight and he'd steal and lie.
He always called Santa a big fat lout,
And rumor has that he puts it about.

Jubby the elf hated girls and boys
And never put any care in the toys
He used to call Christmas a pile of smeg
And gave poor old Rudolph a fractured leg.

He'd called his boss Jonny a raging poof
When Santa lashed out and cried "That's enough!"
In anger he conjured the magic himself;
And Jubby wound up as an elf on the shelf.

(16 lines)