Jaded Warriors book 2 (Jade Series)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10


I woke wrapped in a blanket on the couch snuggled into the crook of Gage’s arm, my head rested against his chest. I didn’t remember falling asleep and looked up to see him awake.


“Good morning,” he said. “Or maybe I should say good afternoon.”


“It’s afternoon? What time is it?”


Gage glanced back at the grandfather clock. “Twelve forty two.”


“Oh, really? I slept like a rock.”


Gage chuckled a little as smile tugged gently at his lip. “Good.  What do you want to do today?”


“I don’t know.”


“I want to show you something.”


“What?” I asked curiously.


“It’s outside, so whenever you feel like getting up... I’m fine if we stay right here all day.”


  My smile grew with his. I was content to stay close to him. He seemed okay with it. Was it okay to lay the way we were as friends? We were more than just friends. Gage had to know that, but I wasn’t sure how to define us. Whatever we were, it was confusing and complicated if I allowed myself to think too much about it. There was nothing pushy or invading about the way he held me. He didn’t expect anything. I felt safe wrapped in his arms, secure from the world, I could almost forget what life was like outside.


My mind wandered. What did he want to show me? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go outside but he left me wondering.


“Okay. What is it?” I pried.


“I’m not going to tell you, Jade,” he said, then flashed me a mysterious grin as he raised an eyebrow. His eyes danced lightly with intrigue.


“But I don’t want to move right now. I like this.”


“Then we won’t… I like this too.”


I breathed a deep breath and settled deeper into Gage’s arm with my hand lightly on his chest. I noticed it there, just inches from the pendant. I brushed my fingers lightly over the soft spot on his neck and picked up the black jewel and rested it in the palm of my hand. My eyes closed drawing whatever strength it would give me. A simple piece of jewelry and its meaning, most likely a myth but I let myself imagine myself stronger because he wore it.


His strength, his fearlessness. His surprise for me. My mind ran over the possibilities of what Gage wanted to show me, I had no idea. I found myself wanting to go outside. Like the energy from the sun pulled at me with an intense magnetic force and I couldn’t lay still any longer. I looked up to see his face, still not revealing his secret.


“Okay, I can’t stand it anymore. What is it?”


The corner of his lip curled slightly as he knew he had the better of me. He had tempted my curiosity. “You want to go outside?”


“Yeah.”


“Okay, go get ready.”


I showered quickly and sat by the fire to dry my hair. The overly dry air from the winter and the fire’s heat drew the dampness from my curls. As Gage walked into the front room, he paused for a moment and I caught his eye as I worked my fingers through a knot in my hair. He looked away but not before I saw the raw tenderness, he anchored in his heart. This had to be hard for him, loving me, yet keeping a safe distance.


However, yesterday and the last two nights had been different somehow. I stayed closer to him than I had in a long time and I wanted to. He held me in his arms and I let him with no ill effects. In fact, it did just the opposite. I felt different today.


“You ready?”


“Yeah,” I said softly as I looked up at him. Gage held out his hands and as I gave him mine, he pulled me up from the floor.


“Okay, it’s out back.”


We walked to the back of his property. A wooden fence line bordered his and the yard behind and he climbed up and sat on the rail as he looked out into the field behind his house. I climbed up next to him and breathed in the fresh air.


The sun glistened in the bright blue sky against the powdery white snow while the quiet, interrupted by the song of a bird in the leafless tree behind us. Out in the distance I noticed a newly constructed windmill with mounds of frozen earth dirtying the snow that surrounded it. It stood tall, just off to the left of an old barn, the paint faded and peeling from years of being weathered.


“This field used to have a bunch of cows in it before the virus. It’s abandoned now…”


“Where’d the cows go?”


“Morrison took them… The man who owned them died, of old age actually, last year. I haven’t seen anyone around here or at their house for over a year now.” 


There were a few old outbuildings but there were no signs of life there anywhere. A newer smaller barn caught my attention. It was so far from the house and I thought it was in a weird place, almost in Gage’s back yard. It looked new, like it hadn’t been there long. There was a dusting of fresh snow around it from last night covering footprints around it.


“They built that in an odd spot, don’t you think? I would think they would’ve wanted it closer to the house.” I looked at Gage.


“They didn’t build it.” A smile grew over his cheeks but he didn’t offer any further information.


I was puzzled a bit and wondered why we were looking at the neighbors’ barn. “Who built it?” I finally asked.


“I did, with help.”


“You did? I thought you guys were building a windmill?” I questioned Gage.


Gage glanced over at the windmill, his eyes squinting from the brightness of the sun against the snow then looked back at me. “We built that too.”


“Why would you build another barn?”


Gage jumped off the top rung of the fence and reached out his hand. I hesitated for a second then took it and slid off the fence by him. My feet sank into the soft cold snow as we walked over to the barn.


“Look inside.”


I pulled open the heavy pine door. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness from the bright sun outside. Gage swung open both of the doors, letting the light filter in and stood next to me. A familiar low neigh sounded from the darkness and I drew a sharp breath.


“Fire!”


I reeled around with surprise as I heard the sounds of my horse. I moved to her and wrapped my arms around her neck. I rubbed her face and she nudged me with her nose. Her black winter fur was thick and long but she was still beautiful to me. I hadn’t even given her much thought, none actually.


“I built the barn for you, so you could have something from home here… I know you’d rather be home… If you could,” Gage paused. “I thought you needed a reason to go outside.”


“You built this for me?”


“Yeah.”


“You’ve been busy… I can’t believe you did this?” I looked in awe around the barn and then at Gage.


“Well, I had help... I couldn’t have done it without Kane and Casey’s help. Joel, Elias and Chale helped some when they were here,” Gage replied as he looked at his work. “You like it?”


“Wow…This is amazing! I love it…. She needs a friend.”


Gage gave me a sideways glance and smiled back, “Yeah… She could use a friend...”


“Thanks for being mine,” I said softly, “and thank you for bringing her here.”


“Anything to see you smile, and to see your green eyes shine again.” Gage looked at me, the smile in his cheeks faded but his eyes were still smiling, the stress in them, gone for now. “I wasn’t sure if I would ever see them again. I didn’t think it was possible for eyes to change color like that… but yours did.”


“What color were they?”


“Grey, heavy, all the color drained out of them, like the life in them was gone.”


“Really?”


“Yeah… your eyes change colors depending on your mood.”


“What color are they now?” I asked, a little stunned he knew this about me. He looked closely into my eyes. “Green, different shades, lighter in the middle with a few flecks of gold, blue and light brown close to the center… They have life in them again.”


I felt a little awkward and embarrassed. I just expected him to say green, but he described how my eyes looked to him. I had no idea they changed so much and it caught me off guard that he noticed so much. I turned my head and looked back at Fire. I didn’t know what to say, or how to feel at that moment. Gage made me happy and I wanted him to know how much his surprise meant to me.


“Sorry, I didn’t mean...” 


“No… It’s okay.    I’m … Okay.”


I turned to him, reached up around his shoulders and gave him a hug. He tensed at first but then I felt the muscles in his arms relax. I felt the strain from his body slip away as he gingerly moved his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.   


“Thank you,” I whispered in his ear. The smoothness of his skin, velvet on my lips as I kissed his cheek. Our eyes met and he caught my gaze. I let my arms drop down over his chest and I smoothed his shirt with my hands. We let go from our embrace and I stood there for a moment unsure of what to say then he saved me from the awkward silence as he pointed to a room by the front door.


“Your saddles are in there.”


“You brought them?”


“You have four saddles and I didn’t know which one you used so I brought all of them.”


“I only need one.” I grinned at him. “Maybe two if I’m going to jump.”


He laughed. “It’s probably good I brought them all... Some girls collect shoes, I think you collect saddles.” Gage commented and I laughed aloud at his observation of me. I loved that Gage knew what I loved and what I needed to make me smile, even when I didn’t.


“What? You think I collect saddles?”


Gage laughed a little to himself. “Yeah, I know you do. Do you want to ride her?”


“I could go for a ride.”


A new energy I hadn’t felt for a while warmed my insides as I brushed Fire's long winter coat. I noticed my saddle felt heavier than I remembered as I lifted it on to her back. I guess I still had to work on getting my strength back. I cinched the pliable leather strap tight as I saddled Fire and then led her out of the barn. I couldn’t help but smile at the familiar frictional squeak of leather stretched taut as I stepped into the stirrup. As I sat in the old worn seat of the saddle, I couldn’t contain my grin.


“Do you want to come? There’s room on back.” I offered Gage the stirrup.


“I would love to,” he said as he looked up at me and then swung up behind me. “Where we going?”


I laughed out loud. “I don’t know?” I thought for a minute and turned to face him. “We could ride over to my house and get one of the other horses?”


“Are you sure you want to go over there?” he said hesitantly. “There’s… Nothing left of the house, Jade.” 


“Yeah, it’s okay. I know it’s gone. Kane told me,” I replied, “and I saw it burning…  I knew there would be nothing left, then.”


“Okay, let’s go then.”


I started to ride off then paused for a moment. I had an idea.


“Second thoughts?” Gage asked.


“No… Will you build a fire there?”


“Yeah… If you want.”


I swung my leg over her neck and sat sideways in the saddle as I looked back at Gage. “I’ll be right back, I need to get something.” I jumped off and ran in the house then returned quickly after I found what I looked for. “Okay, I’m ready.”


Fire carried us out the neighbors abandoned yard. We crossed the street to the stream and an extension of the trail that eventually followed behind my house. A peaceful calm filled the air as I looked around at the trees. They were bare of leaves and the branches hung with snow. I loved the quiet the trail brought. The only thing I heard were the sound of Fires hooves as they crunched through the snow.


“Casey said when he found you, you weren’t eating,” Gage said. “Did you think I wouldn’t come? That Kane wouldn’t.”


“I thought you were dead… Damian said you were. He said he went back and killed you.” I leaned back against his chest.


“No one came back... They all left when they took you.”


“Were you hurt badly? I mean… You looked like you were.”


He sighed, “Just bruises… Few broken ribs. It’s nothing compared to…” he didn’t finish.


“To what?”


“Nothing, I healed up okay…” Gage wouldn’t say. I looked back at him and saw the pain in his eyes and I knew for him, being beaten and bruised was nothing compared to how he felt inside. And if anything, was there as a constant reminder of how he failed. I know. I had felt the same way. “I’ve never seen anyone so out of control than Kane was the next morning when they got back.”


I thought about what Kane had to go through when he came home, only to find out, we didn’t have a home anymore and Trey and I were gone.


“Really? Were you still there?”


“Yeah… He had his rifle, a few actually, and wanted to find Damian right then. Mike told him that if he went over shooting, he would be coming back in a body bag but he didn’t care. He said he was going to take as many down as he could in the process. It took everything Mike and Joel had to hold him down long enough to convince him to plan it out first… The only thing that they could say to convince him was you were still alive and we couldn’t get you out if he was dead. Two hundred men and three weeks later we jumped them at a meeting they had and forced them completely out of Little Creek.”


“Was there shooting?”


“Yeah… Worse than when we left the jail… It was pretty ugly, actually.”


“You went? I saw what they did to you and how bad you were hurt, Gage. It was more than bruises and a few broken ribs.”


“There was nothing that could keep me from going, Jade…  I know how Kane felt… I would have gone that night with Kane if … I wasn’t so messed up… Joel and Mike wouldn’t have been able to stop the two of us.”


I looked back at him while we continued to ride. Pain, heavy in his blue eyes from the stress of the last eight months. I felt bad he had to tell Kane what happened. I knew he blamed himself.


“Where were you, that night?”


“In the compound.”


“What was…?”


I felt a single tear slip down my cheek as he hesitated. I let my chin drop into my chest as my shoulders dropped.  I wiped it away angrily as he squeezed my arms and sighed. The silence between us painfully deafening.


“It’s okay, Jade…”


I wished I could go back and change what happened. I could live with the abuse in the jail. I fought Damian, every step of the way. It didn’t matter to me that he beat me or drugged me, it mattered that I fought him. And I didn’t at the compound.


“That night,” I paused as I tried to squelch down the waver in my voice. Something inside me continued, something that wasn’t me as I felt like a bystander watching myself talk. “When Damian got back… he was angry. It was the first…”


My voice trailed off, unable to finish, unable to say the words out loud. I hoped he got it because I couldn’t explain. I felt his shoulders slump so I knew he did. He squeezed my shoulders then skimmed his hands softly down my arms and across the front of me and pulled me close. His forehead pressed into my hair.


I felt a tremble that started weak in his arms then as if it took on a life of its own, grew in strength as it consumed his body. “I’m sorry…” His voice a strangled whisper. He cleared his throat. “Because of what we did.” He said, in more of a statement of confirmation than a question.


“It would have happened regardless.”


“Maybe…” He sighed.


“How did you meet Casey?” I asked to change the subject.


“Casey came looking for us. He said he wanted to help get you out,” Gage said. “About a week after you were gone.  He’s the one who told us about their meeting.”


“Oh…!” I felt winded, as if his words punched me in the gut. “It was Casey,” I said more to myself than to Gage at the memory of a gun pressed to my head and Morrison’s brutal interrogation as he demanded a name. I shuddered.


“Yeah…”


“Morrison was furious.”


Gage sighed, his breath warm against my cheek sent a chill up my neck and through my hair. “He won’t get away with this. Someday… he will be held responsible.”


“That’s what I’m afraid of… what that will cost us.”


“Men have died Jade, on both sides… There will be more.”


His last remarks sent a shudder through me deep into my bones. I grew quiet. They would head out again soon, worry gnawed a painful sore into my stomach.


“I want him to answer for what he’s done and not just for what he did to me. For all of it. I want that… I do… but not at the cost of losing-” I glanced back at him as I stopped myself short. I pulled Fire to a stop as the trail ended by Marge’s store at the edge of the road. My brows furrowed as my eyes grew moist. My chest burned with intense pressure as I looked at him, as if I woke up and saw him again for the first time. “Not if we have to lose what’s important to get it. My sister, my brother, your family… you… Remember that.”


“Okay…”


“Promise me… promise you will remember what is most important.”


“I promise…” he said as he studied me intently. The seriousness in his eyes a strange comfort. My fear of him being hardened by war and violence became suddenly very real, it scared me. He gave me a weak smile.


“Thank you.”