Midnite Journey

Finding old friends and reconnecting with family

So my last post I mentioned I found my sister and was going to get in touch with my mom and grandma who I hadn't talked to in over 8 yrs. Well I got scared and didn't call till today. My sister, God sometimes I can't stand her, told me yesterday my mom passed away two years ago. Of course I broke down for so many reasons.


I hadn't spoke to my mom in over 8 yrs. Missed 8 yrs of her life.


She's the woman who gave me life and now her life is over.


Most of my childhood I wished she was dead, told her "I wish you would die", and now that I'm grown and know better, she's gone.


She already missed so many years of her grand kids growing up and didn't even know she had another grandchild.


My kids would never know their grandma.


I was ashamed of myself for letting the distance between us grow further apart than needed be. Granted we never got along and for good reasons I might add. If you've read any of my personal stories you would know why, but ultimately shes my mother, she gave me life no matter how good or bad it's been, it's all been because of her.


Well anyway, my mom did not die. It was my sisters funny little way of trying to get me to call her. NOT FUNNY! Well it got me to call after spending all day and night yesterday, trying to find my moms obituary. Never found it because... she's alive. So I called and my grandma answered. My mom wasn't there. She was at the hospital. My thoughts? My God I'm too late! There's no way I'd be able to make it there. Okay so why is she there? Having tests done. Phew! It's not great news, but it's better than what was running through my head.





My grandma lost her husband some years back. This is her third or fourth hubby she's had to bury and she's healthy as a horse. I can't imagine how she's able to do it. She asked my mom to move in with her after loosing her husband and my mom did. Thank God because they both needed someone, no needed each other. My mother's health is unlike my grandma. She has had problems with her legs for I can't begin to say how many years, but long before we stopped talking. Well apparently it moved to her back. Doc's had said way back when she first had problems it was lupus or MS. Now they still don't know. On top of that she has cysts all over in her stomach. They want to do surgery. This is all I know as of now.  My grandma had to let me go because my mom was supposed to be calling her. I'm to call later tonight and Gram said she wouldn't mentioned i called, so she will be surprised. I hope it will be a good surprise and not what I've been fearing.





Anyway, because of reconnecting with my sister, I've also reconnected with a lot of old friends we both knew in Germany. The one time in my childhood that I was happy. I started out only looking for 2 or 3 people and I'm now up to finding 12-13 and that list grows daily because I'm remembering so many more people who touched me somehow back then. I just hope I'm just a memorable to them as they are to me. I started our own page on Facebook so we could all share our memories and it's been GREAT! So many of them remember so many good times. I never had lasting childhood friends because of the military life, saw no point in getting attached to people who would eventually disappear.  Maybe now that I'm older and wiser, I'll have friends I'll want to keep in touch with no matter the distance. We are talking about a reunion, but sadly I don't see myself there. I'd love to but, real life gets in the way and there's no way we could schedule something like this to where everyone could show up, either distance, time or money is going to get in the way. Oh well at least I have Facebook and the FAAF memories page I made to keep in touch. I'm not going to complain.





I know I stated in the beginning that this blog was going to be about writing instead of personal life, but... Well these latest re-connections have got the old mill spinning and I'm sure I'll get a story or two out of it all. So in actuality, I'm not going against my own rule.