Ya Know What I Was Thinking?

Killing Time

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No."

"You'll have about a two hour wait, then."

All I wanted was an oil change. It was 9:00 in the morning. There was 1 car in the bay and nothing else in the parking lot even. 2 hour wait. Hard pass. Instead, I'm writing a quick blog entry.

I can change my oil in about 30 minutes. I choose not to do it because I no longer have a garage (or even a car port roof) and I am getting too damn old to lie on the ground in the rocks and get up under the car to bust my knuckles and coat myself in oil. But I can do it in about 30 minutes. How the hell does it take a place with the perfect facilities an hour to change my oil?! And what happened to driving up and getting service? Just a normal queue? Nah, that's a thing of the past, too I guess. Now I seem to have to make an appointment for everything unless I want to be treated like a second-class citizen. I can't even do my grocery shopping without some sort of proxy appointment. If I do have the audacity to go to the store myself, I have to dodge the giant carts of the employees who are picking out groceries for curb-side pickup customers. I know, everybody's gotta make a living, and convenience is great; but it feels like I have to navigate a fleet of interstate busses just to get to a can of soup in aisle 12!

Hey, I rant about Walmart all the time, but it's not just them. I went to Great Clips a while ago— a long while ago, because I generally just have my wife give me a buzz. I get there and they asked if I had an appointment. I replied that I did not, and I was told there would be about an hour's wait. There were three empty chairs! Oy!

Maybe I just get tired of waiting; maybe I'm an impatient jerk. But it seems like I can't just get walk-up service for anything anymore.

"Welcome to McDonald's, will you be using the mobile app, today?"

"Hi, are you here to pick up an online order?

"Did you—"

"NO! I just came to buy a goddam can of dog food!"

"Okay, sir. A) have a Coke and a smile and calm down; and B) please stand here in the checkout line. Yes, the one that winds to the back of the store and into the warehouse. There are 726 curbside shoppers in front of you , and only one of our self-serve scanners is working right now. Have a nice day."

Forget it. I'll just knuckle under. I'll get the oil changed tomorrow at 10:30.

I do need a haircut, though.

"Honey...? What do you mean there's 4 people in front of me?!?!?!?!"