Ya Know What I Was Thinking?

Left to Our Own Devices

Help!

My mental health is in dire straits. I'm trapped, I have no way to escape, my coping mechanisms are all failing, and I'm afraid it's the end!

THE WIRELESS AND CABLE ARE OUT!

My God, it's disgusting how much we've come to rely on the internet and cable TV. I know, I know, It's an old topic covered by everyone. Still... With no analog TV to switch over to, the only things we have to watch are DVDs (remember those, from way back when?) or the paint dry. Wanna play a game on your phone? NO! Must have internet! Some WdC? Brongngnk! It's a web community. Go to the bathroom? The light's controlled by Google home; good luck finding the toilet bowl by sound.

Still, I can write. I guess it could be worse; the power itself could be out and I wouldn't even be able to type. What's that? A pen or pencil? HEATHENS! I'm going to pretend you never said that. I'm no peasant! I will only write if it's easy; I will only read if it's digital; I will only poop if there's light!

What a bunch of spoiled brats many of us have become! While some of the foregoing is exaggerated, obviously, the outage of both wireless and cable for several days was a serious crimp in my household. I couldn't do the bills, for instance— no joke there. And I actually couldn't turn on the light in the bedroom…well, not until I squiggled behind the dresser to find the manual override to the wireless switch, during which I realized my days of nimbly squiggling are long since past. Most serious of all, which almost brought the house down around our ears: my wife couldn't stream GoT Season 8! AUGH!

So what is this blog post about? I guess it's about appreciating what we can still do ourselves. We can still create. We can still engage in conversation. We can play games or nap or cook. We're way too wired-in at my house, I discovered. I reckon a lot of others are, too.

I am among those who bitch about the kids being glued to their phones, but am I really so different, glued to my WdC, my TV, my Puzzle & Dragons? I am not. Perhaps there are a great many of us who are not. Perhaps it's time to stop and take stock and ask ourselves what we have left room for ourselves to be outside the digital domain. Perhaps—

Oooh! The guy fixed it! Cable's back! Now I can upload this here little rant to WdC and go watch some ID Discovery, where people have probably snapped because the internet and cable went down.

Perhaps…perhaps I just dodged a bullet, is all.