BCoF

My Enemy, Mr Friend

On this day in 2018, Roseanne Cash released She Remembers Everything..In the lyric "I didn't know her then, My Enemy,My Treasured Friend. Outside this waking dream, she remembers everything.

This for me is so poignant today. I have slipped down the rabbit hole a bit. It's a place I am way too familiar with and I don't want to go down any further. You know that old "you have a devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other" Well my devil is the one that is with me more often than not. Pouring self doubt, self loathing etc into my mind. It's a dance I have done with him since I was a young girl and he has won more times than not. As a 50 year old woman I am over and done with him, or at least I'm trying to be. But today is not one of those days. Today he is winning and I am mad as hell about it.

I've also had this overwhelming panic that my time is running out. That I am not going to get to do all the things my husband and I are hoping to. And it truly has taken a hold of me today.

So these lyrics My Enemy, My Treasured Friend are speaking to me loud and clear today.

I'm hoping for a more positive tomorrow.