Y Ddraig Goch

Aug 18- Contradictions

Prompt: "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." Walt Whitman. What is Walt Whitman referring to in this quote and do you ever contradict yourself maybe to yourself?

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I'm a walking contradiction. And I'm kinds proud of it. I like that I don't fit into one box.

I'm a corporate employee, who loves to dye her hair very bright colours - because it doesn't affect my work, but I won't get visual tattoos because... you know... I'm corporate... I also think it confuses people when I open my mouth and speak - because, shockingly... I know what I'm talking about.

I used to desperately try, and want, to fit in with "society" or people around me. For them to like me - to be accepted. I tried for so long that when the real me occasionally peeked through, it confused the hell out of those around me, and even myself. But it is exhausting trying to fit into a pre-described mould. I also think it's why people have found it hard to get a read on me.

I was at a friend's son's birthday party on the weekend. I was wearing my Slipknot hoodie (which many people are surprised by). We were all chatting. I was bopping and singing along to the music playing through the speakers - Abba - it confused my friends, because it was Abba.... very different to my rock/metal tastes. Would I put it on myself - no. Do I know every word and rock it BADLY at karaoke - hell yes. My friend in college loved abba. We'd sing into hairbrushes and cans of hairspray while we got ready. Hearing it subconsciously reminds me of that time.

What I have learned is that I have a multidimensional personality that keeps me on my toes - never mind anyone else. And my thoughts, feelings, and opinions are never set in stone. They change. They ebb and flow depending on stuff going on around me. And they are never based on just one facet - so while I might believe and act one way based on certain set of parameters, it doesn't mean I won't react differently with seemingly similar circumstances.