Midnite Journey

Why I'm here today and maybe gone tomorrow, honestly

I've been away so very long. My apologies to those who may have worried or at the very least, missed me.





I've completely forgotten how to do anything on this site. Looks like I will be starting off as a newbie all over again. It's fine really, because in most ways I am a newbie. So much has changed, good and bad. So many things going on, but nothing interesting, just day to day life.





I honestly had no intentions on renewing my membership today. I was going to wait, but as in most of my decisions lately, I said, "Fuck it." So here I am. My intentions today were to show my daughter this site, as she is taking bigger steps to becoming a writer. She's young still. Still too young to write about what she knows. I hate that saying... write about what you know. I was told that when I began writing poetry in my teens. I get it, but who are you to tell me what I know? You've never walked in my shoes, experienced MY life. Anyway...





I purchased my membership, so here I am. Still without inspiration. No thoughts at all about what to write, except this entry. So now what? I'm not making any promises.





I see so much has changed, not really on this site, but rather who is still here and who is not. It saddens me. I thought it would be like old times. It's not. I'm down to 7 fans, but maybe that's all I had before I left, I don't remember. I do see or rather don't see quite a few names I used to years ago, and let's face it, nothing lasts forever. I know that, as do you.





Unfortunately I can not say I have grown as a writer in these years that have passed since I was last on. Too much daily living has gotten in the way of that. I have more experience in life, that's it, that's all.





My children are much older and have their own interests, likes, the whatnots. Fortunately, my daughter caught the writing bug, which is why I'm back here. As well, my fiance, is a self published writer, working on his second and third books at the moment. I was hoping visiting this site would maybe spark something, but as of yet today, just like the years passed, there is nothing.





I went through my port, which is another reason I renewed my membership. It, of course, has been locked all this time. I began reading some of my writings, and I know I'm going to catch grief from someone reading this entry, my writings, for the most part, suck. Yes, indeed, suck. I remember a time when I was avid on this site, where if I got a negative review, I'd say how dare you. Now it is, how dare I. I've always been able to give and take criticism, especially in my line of work as a cook. You have to in order to evolve. Same within writing. It helps, I suppose, to step back for a bit and come back with a fresh set of eyes, more experience in life. Whether it gives me inspiration, I do not know, but I do know I can criticize my own work with honesty.





I, for sure, am not looking for anyone to tell me we are our own worst critic, I know that. I've always been that in every artistic aspect of my life, both business and pleasure. So save that comment, please. I truly mean to say that after reading some of my writings today, I can only grow from here. I hope.