The Darkness

Pull the Trigger

Does anyone else have visions of themselves
Slicing themselves across the neck
Cutting deep across the jugular and into
The carotid artery where the walls are thick
And you have to push hard and saw deep
To get through the tissue and make sure
The cut is final.
The death will be real.
It will all be over and you will not feel anything ever again.
And does it even matter
When no one counts on you for anything?
When you don't serve a purpose in this life
You contribute nothing to the world that makes a difference or seems to fill any important need
For another human or for society, for the world.
Your life is insignificant. And you are indebted
So why even bother trying to make something of yourself when you've already had everything taken away from you
If I had bullets and a gun, I would have shot myself in the head already by now
Because it would be so easy to just pull the trigger and end it all in one determined flash.