Prompted by Poet's Place Cafe

For "DISCUSSION: Imitation"   @

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~ The Poet's Place Cafe~  (E) A place for discussion on poetry, reviews, contests, etc. #1937709 by Jay O'Toole

I chose to imitate:

Between the Walls


the back wings
of the

hospital where
nothing

will grow lie
cinders

in which shine
the broken

pieces of a green
bottle

~~William Carlos Williams

Elements of Between the Walls:
         1. A 10 line poem made up of 5 couplets,
         2. syllabic, primary syllable count per line 3-2, give or take a syllable or 2.
         3. a hidden surprise at the end.

I stretched my imitation to:
         1. A poem in 12 lines made up of 6 couplets,
         2. I stuck to the 3-2 syllable count per line through-out with 2 exceptions
         3. I tried to uncover a hidden truth, of course not as successfully as the master.

~~Tink