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Review of
Awkward Secrets (E) Before we evolved into who we are today, we were insecure and uncertain. #1494113 by Kristi
Awkward Secrets
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
Is this considered a survey or poll? I am guessing they are pretty much the same thing. The author asks us (for good reason) to share our insecurities and fears.
Creativity/Impact:
I think I know what group you are using this for and love the questions. I think the fact that you left it up to the responder to tell their secrets in anonymity or not was a great move. It gives everyone the freedom to speak from their heart.
What I personally liked the Most:
Again, I am assuming this is for your group, 'Scribbling for Self-discovery.' This group and your efforts to help our youth is so commendable. I admire you so much!
Suggestions:
I think you should let people know (on this page) how their answers will be used. I did not see any links back to the group or mention of where these answers would be used. I know it is probably in your folder for this group, but what about those that stumble upon this. i think many would be willing to answer (at least it would be easier to do so) if they knew why they were doing it; to help others.
Summary:
You know I think you are awesome I am glad you know you are too Seriously...you should feel great about who your are NOW
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
If this was not already awarded, I would have put a ribbon on it myself. Sometimes we must look back to realize how far we have come and Baby! you have came a long way
Creativity/Impact:
Beautifully express poem using a definite rhyming scheme. The rhymes do not seem forced but effortless.
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved see the joy at your rediscovering life's joys while you still acknowledged past hurts. It was like yin/yang.
Releasing
fears to which I succumbed;
Regaining
feeling in places numbed *smiles like a cheesy dork*
Suggestions:
none, except thinking this way!
Summary:
I know you think I have lots to still read in your port but I still see more I have reviewed (probably just read and told you I did so..but it is rated). I am happy when I find something and happy when I find gems. this was a gem, kristi
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the ** Image ID #1549914 Unavailable ** Fan Package!
The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
Beneficence (13+) "Bertie" McAllister had lost her son ... could she get him back? ... and at what price? #1599529 by 🌖 HuntersMoon
Beneficence
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Okay Ken, I just erased my template. This has been read by some of the best reviewers (editors) and I know I will not have anything to add as far as punctuation, grammar, ect.
Thank Goodness, I am taking my daughter to the doctor after this review. I need some time to digest what I just read.
NOTE! This is a must read for all those that watch the public reviews page!
You took me through one heck of a ride with this story. My emotions changed from pitying your main character and her loss to sitting here, literally, with my mouth agape in horror and shock.
This seemed like such a sad little, innocent story. ha! This reeks of the like of Stephen King or some other great horror writer. I am still sitting here shaking my head, at a loss of words to describe what this story did to me. It was pity, horror, heartache, all rolled into one wonderful-yet disturbing-read.
I am going to cut this review short, as I am too dumbfounded to even say how affected I am by this piece of (thank God) fiction.
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I went to two of your writing folders and they are empty (seemingly). I am figuring, since it shows that the folder does indeed hold 3 items, that they are put to private.
The first folder I went to received a five star rating, yet I read the few words that were there and was confused. I thought while the words were nice, they did not really rate a five because they were so few and not formatted. I then realized it was the folder description not a post (duh!).
I noted there was three items in that folder, but I could not find a thing to read. I was disappointed but moved on.
I came to this folder, got my hopes up and they were dashed again. Why are you hiding? I would love to read some of your poems- the descriptions for the folders are so well written and intriguing - I am sure the poems would be enjoyable as well.
If you do make those posts public again, I would love to know. I will rush over and take a gander
Btw...It seems from your folders that you are very active within WDC. I appreciate that. I did not look into those folders, as I wanted to review your personal writings. I do want you to know, however, that I appreciate all the work you put into making others here at WDC feel at home and motivated.
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Grab your mask! 2343485
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A very funny poem about how to get rid of boring guests.
Creativity/Impact:
You used a (IMO) difficult form:
Form: Lannet
The "Lannet" is a form of sonnet.
The Lannet consists of 14 lines - presentation of such piece is to the poet’s preference. There is
a strict syllable count of 10 per line. The Lannet has NO END-LINE RHYMING SCHEME.
Only internal rhyme is allowed. There is no stipulance of Iambic form, pentameter or tetrameter
for a Lannet.
I appreciate, as always, that you included a description of the form. I also appreciated the difficulty in following such form and producing such a piece of work as this one.
What I personally liked the Most:
The title drew me in. I am always being prodded by my husband to write about everyday stuff and when I saw this 'Potato salad', I just had to look!
LMBO! It is funny and very cute.
I stifle a yawn as Ralf drones on and
on. Will he ever stop, or notice the
glop of potato salad on his chin? eww!!! lol
Suggestions:
I have none. You followed the form and also spelling is correct.
Summary:
I appreciated the humor in this piece. I am glad I had the joy of reading it.
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Grab your mask! 2343485
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem written for a contest. It speaks of the pain when a love is lost or not returned.
Creativity/Impact:
This was heart-breaking. The refrain of the 'tears' really cemented the feeling of sadness (for me).
What I personally liked the Most:
I listen to my own footsteps, can feel my own shadow
My view of my life looks so gray
My world is shifting, spinning into an empty void *shivers* I could feel the cold of 'that place'. Excellent imagery!
Linked to him forever in the most secret of places
Things have a way of crumbling
Dynasties come and go Again, sent shivers down my spine. I have been there, done that and can rfelate. i think you wrote this in a way that most can relate or at the very least, feel your pain
Again, I loved the use of the refrain about your tears. The sentences changed just a bit, but cemented and anchored your other words.
Suggestions:
I may be totally off base but:
My dreams with him are now fading like prisms
in the sun prism usually do not fade do they? They are usually flashing and only fade when the sun goes down or there is no light-
Suggestions: My dreams with him are now fading like prisms
in the setting sun?
This is only a suggestion, perhaps you could think of another way to word it or not reword it at all...
Summary:
This poem struck me hard. It made me think of the heartache that people, including myself, go through and how very hard it can be. good job!
Hi! Kristi. My name is Omniblueeyes and I will be judging "The Deeper Meaning" for ~First Peoples Represent~ Contest
Content
I really enjoyed reading your story about your heritage and your history. I think I may have learned a couple new things about you
Impression/Feeling
I enjoyed reading more about your tribe. I am still wondering what tribe, based in Oklahoma, I may be related to. Reading about the Southern Arapaho Tribe, I really would love to belong to this peace loving clan. My grandmother (full-blooded Native) married a full-blooded Irishman and I wonder if there is a connection? At any rate, I do not have to shame much either. ha!
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
I did not expect any errors as I know you are a punctuation freak.
WHAT I LIKED
I enjoyed how you brought us from the time of your birth to who you are today and into what the group means to you now.It was a very nice and enjoyable read.
FAVORITE PART
The ending has got to be my favorite part. It really showed what the group offers and what it means to you!
IMPROVEMENTS
I do wish you would have elaborated just a bit more on the group. The story seemed just a bit short. Perhaps it is because I know what the group means and wanted more, more, more, and it was just so good i could have gone on reading a couple more paragraphs . All in all, excellent job!
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
I must say that I agree....and that pretty much sums up my review of this item. I am going to post what struck me as "Finally, someone understands:'
Poetry is just that, it is the creation of it's writer. The most exciting thing about poetry is that even though Literary Rules exist for it all those rules are non-existent once you begin to write. I have learned that poetry is written for the poet. As a poet I write for myself, yes, it feels good to hear someone comment on your poetry in a positive way but it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Poetry comes from the heart of the writer, it is the true essence of who we are and it flows onto the paper.
I realize there are formal 'types' of poetry but someone created that form first by writing it in free verse. New forms are created daily as each poem has a form, although some may disagree. I write as I feel. It, to me, is more pure that way. It may not rhyme throughout or by scheme and that might confuse some. I write to feel and my hope is that through sharing my poetry, someone else might be able to relate. I do like to try formal types of poetry but that will never be who I am...and i do not think any poet should be discredited because they lack of formal structure.
Awesome post!
To join in wishing our fellow members a happy WDC Birthday and also be rewarded for your efforts and time, click the link below! Terrific place to 'be'
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the ** Image ID #1549914 Unavailable ** Fan Package!
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Review of {bitem:1438274 }
Gazing
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I poem inspired by the night sky!
Creativity/Impact:
I could picture this clearly in my mind. The words make me want to spend some time outside tonight, only there will be a full moon.
Last night as i was driving home from the airport, I could see a beautiful full moon. It was hanging low in the sky. It's beauty made me yearn for a pen and paper to capture it's beauty in words so 'it' would not die in my mind. You captured this scene wonderfully!
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved these lines:
embarking on a magical flight -
destined for faraway places -
mind is saturated with sheer delight. I also get lost in the magic of the night. I can dream awake under the cover of night.
Suggestions:
Everything seems spot on as far as spelling, flow and rhyme. I am not sure why you chose to use the dashes... but it seems to be a personal choice of authors whether or not to use them.
Summary:
I found it hard to find things to review. I found this though and am sure I will find much more. LMBO...I just relaized I have read a lot of your work. you know how talented you are...so of course, continue
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A very imaginative short, short story about a young girl named Emily who finds out Dragons and moms are not so different.
Creativity/Impact:
I loved this! You know I am a big fan of your writing and I was not disappointed this time either.
While the story was very short, my eyes did not stray from the page and there was not a moment of pause as I read eagerly the magical words.
I think this topic is a cross between 'Dragon Tales' (it is a cartoon) and 'The Secret Garden'. Very cool!
What I personally liked the Most:
I loved how you built up the story with Emily doing her chores and also the realness of the interaction between the mother and child.
You did a fantastic job with the dialogue.
Suggestions:
I am a little confused about the title. Wasn't Emily outside when she saw the dragon? I just reread it and I see now that she wasn't really in a room but in a special place she considered her special place. LOL...I understand. I guess I have no complaint or suggestions after all.
Summary:
I really hope you develop this into a more complete and ongoing story. It would be a wonderful Children's tale
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I was really afraid to read this. You see, I have experienced suicide and just had another brush with an attempt by a loved one. I noticed it had no ratings and also I felt that this piece needed to be addressed.
What I personally liked the Most:
This piece goes from hopelessness to some positivity and then back to hopelessness. It shows, or rather tells, the reader that you still are holding on to that hope. that you know that while you might feel dead, you are not.
I hope that you know there is always hope. If you are feeling chronically 'down', you might be clinically depressed and might want to see a doctor. If this has just been a recent event or an event where this is not the norm...I hope you know everyone feels this way sometime.
I find this a little more like prose then poetry but it was good. It expressed your feelings in a way that the reader can feel your pain and struggle.
Summary:
Please hold onto that hope and keep writing down those feelings.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
Love is.... This author writes what it is to her.
Creativity/Impact:
I love the use of all the descriptive words. They describe your feelings of what love is very eloquently.
What I personally liked the Most:
I liked how you started each sentence with 'Love is'. It made for a powerful piece.
Love this sentence:
Love is green and vibrant… ethereal as the grass, trees and sky after an electrical thunderstorm passes.
I enjoyed the other sentences as well, but do not want to paste your entire poem here
Suggestions:
In your first sentence. I would revisit it and make sure your punctuation is correct. It seems to be a little 'raun-on. I think breaking it up would work better (IMO).
Summary:
I loved reading about what love is You made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
Not your ordinary vampire story, well not in the seductive way it is written!
Creativity/Impact:
I must say, I am taken back at times at the talented writers I have the honor of reading here at WDC. It makes me want to strive to be better myself. this is an excellent example of superb writing.
The story started and it built up in tempo and then left me wanting more.
What I personally liked the Most:
Some of my favorite parts were the following:
Eyes that now gazed upon such sheer physical perfection that every cell in her body screamed for her to take him and mark him as her own. Is this the madness that overcame her maker that night? Or was it his spoiled perverted need to take and kill that later justified his taking of her happiness and innocence? Could she hold back the same urges with better luck? beautiful!
One taste, that's all she wanted. To break his skin with a gentle nick, to drink from him in deep pulls, and to hold him close while he shivered in the joy her bite would bring. *shivers*
I must say that lately there are so many vampire stories out there. I usually do not choose to read them. I really enjoyed this one. It is not overdone and kept my interest.
Suggestions:
You mention a character named Ian. There is not much written about who he is. Is this a chapter or just a short story? If it is a short story that will stand on its own, I hope you will go and develop the characters more. If it is a chapter, where is the rest? I must read!
Summary:
You took a genre topic I felt was overdone and for the most part boring and made me a fan again!
I am not quite sure why this was rated so low. It was well written. I think the sentence structure was good, punctuation seemed spot on and you conveyed your feelings perfectly as far as I can see. It is categorized correctly. It is a personal monologue.
Seriously, I wonder what people are thinking if this warrants a 3.5. Please do tell me what, whoever rated, this thinks a perfect score is.
I think people might have probably told you this belongs in your blog. do not let anyone dictate where you place your work. This is categorized correctly and if they (WDC) did not want you to write in this category, they would not have made this an option.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Wow! The imagery in this poem is intense. I could picture in my mind the picture that you painted (excuse the pun).
I see in places where this could be compared to a kiss. The lines:
The painting was magnificent,
The colors,
The emotions,
The feelings,
All bleeding out,
Begging to be perceived. I can see a kiss in this. Looking at the face you just kissed and feeling a stir of emotions.
I also thought the last verse cemented the feelings a kiss can bring.
I enjoyed this piece very much and am honored to have been able to read it.
I did not notice any technical errors and the flow was beautiful. So you received an earned !
I must say you have lived a very interesting life and you were able to convey a lot in such few words. I did not realize your age. I thought you were younger. I loved reading about your writing endeavors. I think you are a remarkable man. i wish you would have gotten a little more personal, but perhaps you could not fit in the words or did not want to share. At any rate, I enjoyed this
That ribbon above the poem was well deserved. I loved this story of the troll under the bridge. It is clever how you took the popular rhyme of billy goats gruff and turned it into a story telling the trolls point of view
As you said, you did not need to use a rhyming scheme but you challenged yourself. You came out of that challenge with a brilliant poem.
My favorite verse has got to be the first one
I lie in wait beneath the bridge
and lick my lips, my eyes ablaze.
There’s nothing fearsome trolls like more
than Billy Goat with Hollandaise. great rhyme that makes perfect sense
The only place I tripped up while reading it out loud was in these lines:
dismayed that I may have to eat
some week-old toad left in my fridge. I tried reading it in different ways and it still stuck just a tad.
I really love your sense of humor. It shows through in this piece. Have you ever considered writing s short story out of it?
You might want to tell people how to minimize their page after. lol. I easily figured it out, but am unsure if it is the size it originally was before reading your edit.
I could tell that you edited out words, even with the large size I zoomed to, I could not make out the deleted words. The ones that are left, they are the finished product?
I really liked how you show that every good author can do with an edit. It is unusual for things to just come out perfectly the first time, not if it is a conscious effort to write.
I was drawn to this story because of the title. I collect teacups and I also drink lots of tea LOL
I read the story and enjoyed it. i think if you work some on it, it could be great.
I feel, and remember this is just my humble opinion, that it would be better if you separated the paragraphs by hitting the space bar. It would break the story up and make the reader pause more, rather then rush through your words.
I would check some of the story for use of something rather then just the same boring periods. They are needed of course but for example..in this sentence:
My god. I swear he gets more gorgeous every time I see him. Those eyes. That face. The man’s a god. A living god
I know you are excited, but seeing an exclamation point or two through the story lines could convey exactly how you feel.
I would love to read this when you break it up some.
Also I know this is a monologue, is it also true?? If it is, I am very sorry. Not about your love for the doctor of course, but for the tumor. I hope you are okay.
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
I loved this short poem about the firefly who brought magic into your life. I loved the rhyming scheme and also the rhythm seemed spot on. It was a magical, light-hearted poem and made me want to go out and watch the sky tonight. I, personally, love love love rainbows. The are so magically beautiful. If I see one, I make everyone come outside and stare at it. I know they not find it as wondrous as I do but usually they cant say no to my pleas to just look!
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
I really liked reading your more about you. It really mooo-ved me I love the pic of your pup as well. i am assuming he gets a long with cows? Does that 'thing' pet him and give him love?
I have read your ' A bullish remoo' (love it) and have had the honor of both the hand and hooves of fire peek into my port and tell me what they thought. It was great fun!
I think you are incredibility unique I like that.
Thank you for sharing a little more of the person behind the facade.
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
You make some very interesting points, as does you friend, concerning marriage. I agree totally with both you and your friend. In the ideal marriage you would be as one in most cases. You absolutely affect each and every part of each other's life. You work together building your house of love. I think green would reign supreme on the canvas....or should.
This was a very interesting read Good Topic!
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
Wow, this is the second port I have come to where there are empty folders. I really wanted to read your essays. The topics seemed to be interesting ones. If you do add to any of your folders, please email me and i would be only too happy to come back and review them
Well, happy WDC birthday. I am really hoping that empty folders does not mean that you are inactive here at the site. I would love to get to know your work.
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
This poem about a special kind of love was written by Sherri and her niece.
Creativity/Impact:
I absolutely love that you did this with your niece. What a bonding moment that must have been. I hope you both have a printed and framed copy of your poem.
What I personally liked the Most:
I noticed a definite rhyming pattern and the piece flowed well. I just can't get over the fact that you wrote this with your niece. I think this is so awesome. How old is she? does she share your passion for writing and is she a member here? I would love to stop by her port
As far as the actual poem...lol. It spoke volumes about the love you share. It was quite beautiful and made me feel fuzzy inside.
Summary:
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. I think I shall get together with my daughters and write a poem this Christmas I was inspired by you, thank you!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
The author writes about her troubled mind during a troubled time.
Suggestions:
The punctuation seems spot on, as does the spelling. I wish this piece was longer. i guess I just read your stories and feel I want to experience more of what you were feeling. I think I can relate to much of what you felt, even though I was never caged in this manner.
What I personally liked the Most:
I did not like this, I was moved by it. I can not say this was a positive write, but a heart wrenching one. I hate the end of it, you know why. I am glad that your head is not designed for things such as a bullet. I know it to be designed to produce many positive and wonderful ideals once it gets over the pains of the past. that you write these posts about the pain, IMO, shows your growth and understand of yourself.
I love this:
I discover myself to be encapsulated by what the caged bird sings, rather than questioning if it sings at all. Surely a song remains in the heart until the soul dies. The tempo would vary between trials encountered and glorious moments captured. The song remains, it just may not remain the same.
Summary:
I have read most of your pieces. I found it hard to find something to read. lol. I am sure there is more in this vast bounty of 'works'...I just need to muddle through all of them and find one I have not yet had the pleasure to read. You know I admire your courage to write what is truth. You reveal yourself in every story you tell...
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! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor 
I am glad you know you are too 
Seriously...you should feel great about who your are NOW 
